WFTDA Nationals Day 2 - Quick Picks!

Well...looks like the favorites did all that was necessary to win yesterday and frankly only one bout was ever in question...Beans v Madolls. Friday was about utter dominance from teams that have been red hot since Regionals a few months back. And of course I had to be a wise guy and pick at least one upset just to make things interesting and the Mile Highs made sure that I paid for my transgression. They were unquestioningly better than the Warriors yesterday, thats for damn sure. At any rate, with my sucky work schedule looming I'm gonna hafta hit n run again so lets get to it:

(FTS Rankings)

1. #10 the Beans v #5 the Original Muthas

As impressive as Bean City's win was yesterday in a serious battle with the Madolls its gonna be an uphill struggle today as they go up against those O.M.'s from TX. I just cant pick against TX in this bout because in the end the Muthas just seem too poised...too much on a mission...to be stopped in their tracks by Boston. Nope. Cant see it. The Originals win in a bout that should be interesting early. But in the 2nd half TX will pull away and continue their quest to regain the Throne of Derby.

2. #19 the Rockstars v #4 the Cheesesteaks

Hmmmmm. Its time for the 'ole heart vs head scenario. As you probably know my heart is with Frida and the Rockstars but I REALLY like this Philly team who have become one of my favorite Derby teams over the last 2 years. And howzabout that Killer Rocks team that dominated H-Town from the outset Friday?? There are so many skaters in this bout that are among my personal faves so this is a tuff pick for me. When you consider the fact that...hey...I'm full on rooting for those Rocky girls wellll....this is difficult. But heres the thing...Liberty will be the strongest team that the Rocks have faced this season. Hell, maybe the tuffest team that they have EVER faced. This will be a serious test for them and then theres the fact that the Cheesesteaks are gonna have a home track advantage with fans aplenty screaming and cheering them on. The smart money will, of course, be on Philly here. How could it NOT be?? But you have to also consider the unreal journey that the Killer Rocks have been on since Regionals...yes, they are on a mission from the Derby Goddess herself and sure seem to have her blessing! This is gonna be real interesting. Heart...the Rocks. Head...Liberty City. So put yer money on Philly but just dont be upset if those amazing Rollergirls from Rocky pull off the upset of the Tournament. For the brave among you...sneak in a lil upset pick here. For me. GO ROCKSTARS

3. #3 Mile Highs v #2 the Crushers

This should be a fairly competitive closely contested bout but ya have to realise that WCR is coming in fresh and rested and ready to crush. Last nite the Milers proved once again why they are among the elite in Derby with everything working for them against KC. But this Crushers team is a far cry from KC. Yeah...Windy will emerge victorious here. Sorry Denver.

4. #6 Holy Oly v #1 the Mighty Gothic Queens of Utter Destruction and Mayhem

This may be a better bout than the Goth faithful may realise. At least thats my opinion. Oly has had a remarkable season and would certainly shock the Derby World with a victory here...but uuuuhhh...aint gonna happen. And there were times in the Regionals when Oly's lack of big prime time bout experience showed. And then theres the question of bench depth. Oly has a nice bench but not Goth nice. I said yesterday that the Mighty Goths wouldnt lose Friday or Saturday and I realise thats no big stretch but the Goths are gonna be BIG TIME today. They are on a serious mission people and no Holy Oly is gonna stand in their way. This may get ugly in the 2nd half as the Goths simply wear down Oly. Pick the Gothic Queens. Dont be silly.

WFTDA Nationals Day 1 - Quick Picks

Finally the Nationals are here and I have scant time to write as much as I would like but I am gonna make some "quick picks" for Day One's WFTDA bouts. After all, I know some of you need to win some games and take that happy trip to the payout window. And so without further ado...the picks:

(FTS Rankings used)

1. #10 the Beans v #13 the Madolls

Considering how surprisingly well that the Madolls have played this year it wouldnt be a shock to see an upset here. But my cashish is on the skaters of Bean City. They just seem to be a notch above Madison and I'm going with the favorite here.

2. #20 H- Town v #21 the Killer Rocks

Its interesting to consider that going into this bout HOU is ranked by WFTDA at #17 and the Rockstars are at #7. Regardless of the rankings gulf theres NO WAY that the Rockstars go down in their first bout outta the gate. No way. And yes I'm playing favorites...cuz you know thats how I roll. GO KILLER ROCKS!!

3. #5 Mile Highs v #9 Warriors

For my money it seems that the KC skaters have overachieved somewhat this year but having said that I just have a feeling about them. I HAVE to pick an underdog somewhere and although I may get stung I'm gonna pick those Warriors here. Please dont hate on me Milers...you have an excellent team and you could easily prove me wrong but I have to play this hunch tho...cuz picking all favorites is lame.

4, #8 Deeeetroit v #1 the Goths

Uh huh...suuuuure. Like I'm gonna pick against the Mighty Gothic Destruction Machine of Derby. Not gonna happen people. Not Friday...and not Saturday either. Heads up Rollerheads...that narrow defeat a few months back to the Liberty City squad has the Mighty Gothic Queens in a damn serious mood. And they are READY to defend their Derby Crown this weekend. Very very ready.

Its gonna be a great Tournament and I wish that there were some way that I could have been there in Cheesesteak City. I would have damn sure bought shots of Jaeger all around for those Rocky Mtn Rollergirls...proud of them! Go get 'em Frida!

Naptown v Hearts Bout Recap! <3

Woah!! What a way to break in the Pepsi Coliseum!! A crowd of nearly 3500 Derby fans filled the Pepsi Coliseum last Saturday night as the Naptown skaters faced the Hearts of Bloomington and it was an incredible night for the Nap faithful as both the Belles and the Sirens came totally focused and willful. From the outset it seemed that both squads just had Bloomingtons number and were both offensively and defensively on top of their game. Even tho at times it seemed that the Hearts were overwhelmed they will gain valuable experience from these 2 bouts. Indy's experience was quite evident in both bouts but especially so in the Sirens v Flatliners game. You know that I adore KaKa but she just had nowhere to go ALL NIGHT. And containing her was an on fire defense that saw Sin, Touretta, Sweet, Ima, 4 Leaf and CK killing it ALL NIGHT long. And I'm talking NO let up whatsoever. What an incredible night of Derby we witnessed.

Look...I'll go over the bouts in a bit but lets start at the beginning 'kay? The unseasonably warm weather drove home the point that even tho I would be comin from north Indy all the way to Mooresville in the cold at night there was no damn way I wasnt gonna RIDE. And so I did. Had a gorgeous cruise to Broad Ripple for the Prebout Hangout w/the gang. Caught up w Dill, Tom K, Lux n Lori, Amby, CR, Johnny and other Rollerheads and that was a fine way to start my day. I have to admit that I was scanning the TV constantly lookin for early Breeders Cup results and sippin some Blue Moons 8). At any rate I then took a lil ride downtown before headin to the Coliseum. Saw some of the gang then headed in and was struck by the fact that...oh yeah...NRG is doing SportCourt this season! The surface drew a mix of responses from both NRG and BHRG skaters but all in all a majority were positive. You wanna know how much that nice surface costs tho?? $20,000 or so!! Holy freaking shit they're proud of that SportCourt!! Quiiiiite a bit of money there...sheeeesh. Is it faster?? Yes! Is it slower? Yes! is it easier to fall on? Yes! Is it tuffer to fall on? Yes! And so on and so on...just seemed like such a subjective thing w/the skaters really. Sure as hell LOOKS nice...nice and professional. Love it.

What an excellent turnout for the season opener too. A great crowd showed with a smattering of Hearts fans in the seats cheering on their Rollergirls. I said it before but I'll say it again...I really like the Hearts. There is some real talent to be seen on this team and with more experience and learning to play for each other they will be an interesting team to watch over the next couple of seasons. More team chemistry and pack communication will hopefully be gained and I have to just come out and say it...the Hearts need a full time Coach and Bench Mgr. They just DO. Like all the up n coming teams. KaKa is needed as the star Jammer with nothing to distract her from her point scoring mission, know what I mean?? KaKa is fantastic and with better team blocking and speed control she will be able to fly.

On the Hearts side of things I have to say I was a bit surprised that I didnt see Felanie Charges. Wher was Felanie? At any rate I thought that Zero did the most she could all night with what was given her. And not much was given. And Oh yeah...ya knew I was waiting for the Assassins intros so I could see how the announcers would introduce Anita Fingerbang 8). For the record she was intro'd as A.F. Bang (haha). Cool name Anita...love it! I wanna see Anita Fingerbang tee shirts EVERYWHERE next season 'kay? Seriously...a virtual SEA of Anita Fingerbang collectibles need to be produced...can ya see the $$$? Can ya Bloomington??! Hell yes. Betty Wreckognize had a nice nite too. I saw her crushing hits several times during the game.

And on the Belles side of things I was totally shocked when Strawberry Jam skated out!! Are you freaking kiddin' me?? SJ!!! THAT was great! Seriously cool. And maybe I've been outta the loop this summer but...Old Broad?? On the BELLES?!? WTF? That was another shocker for me. It was cool to get to see all the new skaters in action for the first time too...Freddie,Smashley, Trauma,Dazy, Fonda and may I say ,the very impressive Maiden America. The "Iron" Maiden was kickin total ass all nite people. And I told her so at the Afterparty too. Keep yer eye on this Jammer Napfans because she could be a point scoring star. The entire Belles roster did an amazing job all bout long and they have much to be proud of. Di and Jen did a great job coaching too. In addition to the Iron Maiden, Racer had another solid nite Jamming. Even tho the Belles lost several key skaters to the Sirens you sure as hell couldnt tell...they were impressive.

And so on to the Flatliners we go. Look...Im just a guy okay?? And so I have to say...Hell-No Kitty is a knockout. *smirk* Just sayin'. And we all love the Cult of Rollergirl Kitties! All hail the once and future Queen Kitty Liquorbottom!! On a sidenote I actually heard from Kitty Killjoy about a month ago...and it made my day. LOVE the kitties!! The Hearts have a lot of personality and style and even tho, to be honest, they werent ever really a threat to the Sirens, they were fun to watch just the same. Terror had some moments but both her and KaKa had a frustrating nite up against that NRG pack. Like I said earlier...the Bloomington skaters need a full time Head Coach and Bench Mgr. Really helps when what you're doing isnt working and you need to adjust on the fly or at least at the half.

And then there's those Serious Sirens...who came, saw and conquered from the very first jam. I have no superlatives left for Ace...she was UN...FREAKING...BELIEVABLE. It is an utter joy to watch her skate...makes my Derby lovin heart just POUND. Damn...she's unreal...just a star. Thank you for coming back Ace...I know you heard those chants and cheers every time you took the floor. Feels great doesnt it? Hell yeah. And when she went in at the end of the bout to play Pivot(!!) she was just as impressive. And when "the Natural" got her chances to jam she made the most of them as always. Blue is such a talent. And howzabout that Cap'n Katya? Fire and zeal all nite from her of course. Slammy had a solid nite and how awesome was it seeing the Superhero Shadi out there Jamming again?? Shadi! Shadi! Shadi! She's as much a fan favorite as any Siren for sure. Love her! The entire Sirens squad killed it. Coach J is back people and she aint taking any prisoners!! A glorious night for the Zaptown Girls and that raucous crowd was just eating it up. I know I was.

The new venue worked brilliantly. We still have adequate suicide seats and plenty of excellent seating for the ever growing crowd of Napfans. It was perfect...just perfect. And I cant even tell you how many hugs I got from skaters and fellow fans. We have a very special Derby community here in Indy and it got to the point where it was like some kind of family reunion. And oh yeah...before I forget...how beautiful is it that bad ass Touretta came back for another season?! Touretta just rules. As we all know.

The afterparty was a great time and I have to say that the Hearts and the Naps got along really well and genuinely seemed to enjoy each others company. Which was cool. B'ton has their own flavor and will be interesting to watch as they grow as a team and begin bouting serious WFTDA teams. Its a process. Had fun chatting with Zero, Unicoroner, Rocket and the Illustrious KaKa. Keep yer chin up KaKa...your rollergirls are gonna grow from this experience, just like Naptown did in their losses.

And so I eagerly await the upcoming rematch with the Burns. It wont be like last time, I can assure you of that. Those Burns have been battle tested and are a vastly superior team to what we saw last time. Its gonna be epic. And yes...the long, somewhat chilly ride home did give me a head cold and a scratchy throat. Well worth it! Great job Zaptown...an awesome way to begin the season.

Naptown v Hearts Bout Preview!

At long last the Nap skaters will take on the Bleeding Heartland team from Bloomington. For those of you not aware of the past history of these teams they used to be one. The league was called Crossroads Roller Derby and was set up to draw from both Indy and Bloomington. Due to a variety of reasons the league split into Naptown and Bleeding Heartland. Naptown was first out of the gate and took Indy by storm. They quickly rose and joined WFTDA. The Hearts on the other hand took a while to get off the ground and slowly built their league on a steady diet of intraleague bouting. The Hearts have only recently joined WFTDA and have a record of 1-1. Having been down to B'ton sveral times to catch some BHRG bout action I would have to say that its quite a change of Derby culture. Considering that only a half hour trip separates the 2 leagues there is a marked difference in the crowd and the flavor of Derby being played. More than anything I think the fact that the Hearts play each other all the time and Race City is set up strictly for travel team play is the difference. Neither is necessarily better than the other and much debate has been had discussing the pros and cons of each style of league. Ultimately I am of the opinion that for the sake of team health and chemistry that the "One Team One League" style of Naptown is the way to go, but there are also some good things that come from having a league of 2 or more teams.

At any rate...this may be the bout of the season. Lets be frank...both of these teams REALLY REALLY want to emerge victorious from this epic bout. I am so pumped up for this one and you should be too because its gonna be as intense as last years legendary F Dubb bout. And then there's all the changes that have happened. A change of venue and Coaching staff will add a new and different dimension to Naps squad. Theres all the retirements of last year (come back Jane!!!!) and the new roster of Rollergirls. I was ecstatic to hear that the Amazin Blazin ACE is gonna return for another season too. She remains Race City's great superstar and killer Jammer and is so critical to NRG's attempt to rise back up in the WFTDA rankings. But theres a wealth of young talent being groomed on the Belles squad and some of those skaters will prove to be invaluable additions to the Sirens roster.

Naptown is currently ranked by FTS at #40 with an overall record of 6-6. BHRG won a game against Hard Knox 97-75 but it was closer than the score would suggest. Their first official WFTDA bout was a butt kicking by the way more established G Rag. They ended up losing by 205 points. Ouch. But as is often the case that aforementioned butt kicking has served the Hearts well and they grew from the experience to be sure. The biggest star on the Hearts squad is without any doubt Jammer KaKa Caliente. She is absolutely amazing and I guarentee that when shes jamming you wont be able to take yer eyes off of her. Well...unless she's up against our ACE! I really like BHRG's team. They have some real potential and with Jammers like KaKa, Unicoroner (back from injury?), Bad Mudda Trucka (backfrom injury?) and Felanie Charges theres much to be optimistic about. The crowds have really grown for Bloomington and now that they're officially WFTDA the future is bright indeed for those Rollergirls in IU-ville.

I just have to believe that in the end Zaptowns vast experience against well established, experienced teams will prove the difference. If NRG can contain KaKa then they will be difficult for the Hearts to beat. It will be very interesting to see what transpires in this heated bout tho. What will all the changes since last year mean for the NRG girls? Who will be the top Jammers (besides Ace of course)? Will the new Pepsi Coliseum venue bring in more fans? Will there be a loss of the intimacy of the Toyota Pavilion? What new strategies will the Coaches employ? Will Kamikaze Chicken make an appearance? Will every Napfan shout in unison "Right you are Dill!"?? Will Anita Fingerbang be allowed to have her name on her jersey? Yeah..its gonna be very interesting. And perhaps the first bout of an annual grudge match the likes of Nap v Cincy or Nap v F Dubb. Do not miss this bout people!!!


Flatliners Roster (A Team)

Margles McNasty - Co-captain Killer Kindness - Co-captain Badd Mudda Trukka Bombshell Shock Boogie Tights Felanie Charges Harriet of Fire Hell No Kitty Ka Ka Caliente Kung Furious Old Broad

Party Foul Pele’s Melee Polly Hammer'us Rip’R Snap’R Sagiterrorist Scarlet Witch Shock ‘n’ Roll Terror d’Bits Tiger Beat Truly F. Obvious Unicoroner Zero Dark

Code Blue Assassins (B Team)

Roxy Shox - Co-captain Tijuana Momma - Co-captain Anita Fingerbang Assassinatrix Betty Wreckognize Boudi Call Charmed N Dangerous James Bomb Knock R Down

Lotta Trouble Math Murderer Megabyte Narnageddon Raven Furies Snide Piper Sue Cidal Vengeance Anya Violet Outburst

Western Regionals- Day 2

Well I went 3-1 the first day so I'm not out any cashish. Hell, I came out ahead. AND those Rocks went 2-0 yesterday too. So yeah...nice day. I wish I would have been able to catch all of the bouts that happened Friday, but work and other commitments created a situation where I was only able to take a peek, during lunch break, when the Killer Rocks were just hammering away at the Tramps. Then I was able to catch some bout action after 8:30pm est. Not enuff Derby Tournament action for my tastes really. Oh well, on to Day 2's matchups. And Frida? That "dedication" really made my day! Thanks...

1- #35 the Tramps v #13 the Dukes

Yeah, a real Southwestern Showdown going on in this bout. Break out the green chilies and Margaritas! And from what I saw yesterday there's no way I'm picking against the Dukies. The ABQ have already beaten the Tramps once this year and for whatever reason Tuscon just seem lost. Not as lost as AZ mind you, but somewhat flat at any rate. Not to state the obvious but the Dukes just arent the same team that they were a year ago. They are still SOLID, just not really elite. They are however MORE than enuff to dismantle the Tramps. Now ya see ABQ...I picked you in this bout. And I would have to say that this ones the lock of the day. A LOCK. And I'm not just saying that cuz I still have a little of that enchanted NM blood in me. Its your day Dukies...its your day. Have a drink on me.

2- #26 the Pikes v #6 the BADasses

As much as I would love to see this be a close, competitive, exciting bout...I just dont think its gonna happen. I predict that the BAD skaters will run away in this one early and never look back. They may be somewhat gassed after last nights epic struggle against the Coffee City Rats but I would imagine that they still have enuff left to beat the Pikes today. The Badasses are now 1-5 in '09 but its an IMPRESSIVE 1-5. Thats right, there is such a thing as an "impressive" 1-5 record. I mean, when ya take on the elite, the Heavyweights, yer probably gonna get cracked in the head a few times. But that punishment eventually makes you stronger and tuffer. And the BAD Rollergirls have lost to MAJOR teams ( the Original Muthas, the Rosies, the Beans and the Rats x2). It'll all pay off next year BAD. You Rollergirls are gonna be MAJOR in '10. Ya heard it here.

3- #29 Angel Pretty v #13 the Rosies

What a day it must have been for the Angels. They got the mild upset in their first game and then ran headfirst into a Mile High Tank in their second game of the day.They were never a factor against Denver, but who was really betting against DEN in this game? Not the smart money. But as if the Angel Pretty skaters didnt already have a nice core of diehard fans, they definitely emerged with more fans when Friday was over. The Angels are so charismatic and cool. Who could ever root against them?? Not me. But having said all that I dont think that they'll stand much of a chance against the Roses really. The Rosies hung extremely tuff earlier this year against Oly and lost by a mere 6 points so I dont think that they're gonna have too much trouble with the LA squad. The Rosies have had quite a year thus far with impressive wins over such teams as the Rats, the Carols and the BADasses. NICE. Reeeaaal nice. Lay it out for the Portland Rollergirls...they wont disappoint.

4- #5 the Rats v #15 Holy Oly

And this is where I take a real chance. This is where I may get torched. I dont give a damn, I'm picking Holy Oly in this one. FTS has them ranked at #15. Really?! #15?! Hell no...not a chance. I could care less what the usually reliable algorithmic formulas say, Oly is a top 10 team at LEAST. IF the Coffee City skaters do beat Oly then it would be their most impressive victory of the year in my eyes. No doubt. If my hunch is right and Holy Oly is the winner tho, I cant really say that its THEIR most impressive win of the year. They DID beat the Mile Highs. Thats fairly impressive considering the year that Denver is having. Will the Rats rise up and make us all believers in them again? Lets see...Oly beat the Milers who beat the Rats so that works right?? Uhhhh...sorta kinda. Go with Oly. Since when have they lost in '09? Uhhh...they haven't.

5- #24 the Rocks v #5 the Mile Highs

I hate this I really do. I would imagine that a few people scanned right to this pick straight away. Is he really gonna pick the Rocks in this bout? Really? Is he that stupid?? Is he that much of a blind-in-the-eyes Fanboy that he would lay $$$ out on the RMRG squad against Denver? And this is why I never pick Naptown bouts. Because it just doesnt matter what my brain tells me, spitting out stats and percentages, cuz in my HEART I always believe that somehow, someway NRG is gonna find a way to win games that they should lose. I cant go picking games with that kinda emotionally overcharged mindset! Hell no. I could lose money. And I'm not in the habit of losing money. And then there's just the fact that Naptown are my Homegirls...even if I THINK that they're gonna lose a particular bout theres no way that I'm actually gonna write that. Or say it. Dont wanna jinx the Homesquad. Thats why I hate picking Beer City or Archies bouts. I DO pick 'em but it causes me some pain to ever pick against those 2 teams when I have to. Same deal for the Killer Rocks. I'm not laying a single dollar on this game. Nope. I believe in the Rockstars...I do. I mean, its not like they're gonna struggle with that thin air right? Is this the game that shows all the Rollerheads nationwide what the Rocks are really capable of? It could be. I know, I know. The smart money is on Denver. I get that, I really do. Just look at their record!! Who's gonna really bet against them in this bout? A silly assed Fanboy...thats who. Go get 'em Rockstars!

The Western Regionals...All Things Being Equal

Yep...the Westerns. Tournament of the oh-so-equal-in-a-top-flight kinda way. Equally dangerous, quick, talented, athletic and willfull. This is the Tournament that everyone has gotta see because its all up for grabs in the craziest Regional of '09. Look, I make no secret of the fact that I am a guy that has teams that are near and dear. I play favorites...and I adore the Killer Rocks okay? Cant help it and I cant apologize either. Yes...they are the team I have a soft spot for in the West. They are the team I'm gonna be a silly assed Fanboy over. Frida, Pinky and the Killer Rocks will be bringin it! As will every team in this brutal, evenly matched Tournament. Anyway, on to the sure-fire, cant miss picks!!! Mmmm Hmmm. Suuuuure.....

*All rankings are FTS

1. #24 the Killer Rocks v #35 the Tramps

Come on now...you damn well KNOW who I'm gonna pick in this bout. But even if I was a hardcore, dyed in the wool Tramps fan I would be plenty worried here. The Rocks are gonna be TUFF. Tuscon is a thin 1-2 in '09, with a win over AZ and losses to the Dukies and DEN. The Rocks are 2-3 this year but lost to the Beans, the Dukies and lost a close one to the Pikes 120-113. They had a nice win against Sac City, but Sac C may be on a bit of a backslide. And their other win was against Omaha, a team that the Rocks SHOULD beat. So the resumes are bit vague this time out but I gotta go with the Killer Rocks in this one. Absolutely. Cause I care about my gambled dollar and I'm a silly assed Fanboy for the Rollergirls of Rocky Mountain.

2. #26 the Pikes v #29 Angel Pretty

One in a series of very interesting match ups pits the ole Pikes v Lovely Modelesque Angel Pretty. Ya know...the Angels DO hail from fashionable LA so you damn well KNOW that they're pretty. And they are such a fun fun team to watch. They have mucho charisma and charm no doubt. But I just dont know...my gut is telling me Pikes in this one. The Angels are a nice 3-2, but their wins have come against AZ (what the hell is up with AZ anyway???), the Oranges and the Sinners. The Pikes have a record of 4-5 but THEIR wins have come against the likes of the Killer Rocks (nooo!), Sac C and uhhhh...AZ (Please Derby Goddess lay yer hands upon this lost child Arizona...your beloved mad skating child who has lost her way). And the Pikes beat the Wreckers Greenies too. I just cant shake the feeling that the skaters of Pikes Peak will get past the Adorable Angel Pretty. Which is something of a bummer. Nothing against Psycho and the gang of course but it would just be reeeaal nice to see the Angels win. Ya cant help but eventually fall madly in love with the Angels. Their powers of persuasion and sheer beauty will entice you. They have such a magnetic personality those LA Rollergirls do. But my $$$ says no...go with Psycho and the Pikes. The "Sinister Sisters" are pretty too.

3. #15 Oly v #13 the Dukies

Ahhhh yes...Albucrackee, my former stompin grounds. It seems that I am forever picking against them and sometimes (as in last years Nationals) they nail me. I plan on moving back to the Land of Entrapment someday and I would like to win friends and influence people but there is NO f'n WAY I am going against Oly in this bout. I mean....REALLY? Would you? Lets see...Oly have burned Angel Pretty, the Pikes, Denver (!), the Rosies and Slaughter. Thats a record of 5-0 and they are on a major roll and I cant see picking against them here. The ABQ have lost to some incredibly brutal teams yes, but they have only beaten the Tramps, Dallas and the Rocks (noooo!). Sorry Dukes. Oly is my pick because Oly is RED HOT. SCORCHING HOT.

4. #5 the Rats v #6 the BADasses

Shit. Back and forth I have gone with this predict. Rats! BADasses! Yes! No! Uhhhh...Rats?? Yeahhhh....Rats. That sounds plausible, from a "quality wins" standpoint if nothing else. The Rats have beaten the likes of the Carols, Deeeetroit and the ABQ whereas the BADasses are 1-4 with their lone win coming against Lovely Angel Pretty. Now granted, the BAD losses have come against killer teams (the Muthas, the Rosies, the Beans and...ummmm the RATS). BAD could certainly take this bout, of that I have no doubt. But the Rats are caffienated and ready to kill. The Rats are out to prove that they are back among the elite. They may very well be.

And once again I will try my best to stay on top of things and update and predict. If yer a conservative gambler you had better just stay away from this whole Tournament. You are bound to see some last Jam nail-biters and I wouldnt want ya to have to dial 911 sweatin it over yer mortgage payment that ya laid out for the Rats. Its gonna be epic!! Now GO Killer Rocks!! Love to ya from Zaptown...

South Central Predictions...the Muthas Kill All

South Central Tournament prediction right here: Texas wins everything. Everyone fucking dies. All are annihilated. All are obliterated. The end.

And the Warriors are a strong second. But they too will die. Like I said, everyone fucking DIES. All are torched. And I have to say that KC have been better than I expected during what was supposed to be a rebuilding phase of sorts. But I will be the first to admit...they really are an exceptional team. Too bad they are in the same Regional as the Original Muthas tho. Yeah...cause like I said. Skulls and crossbones.

Who can possibly take on TX in this Tournament?? WHO? No one. Absolutely no one. But the Warriors will be a fun team to watch at any rate. And for those more masochistic Rollerheads...watch any bout that features Texas. All will die. The Muthas will destroy everyone. All shall writhe in agony before them.

I may be falling in love with this Jag...<3

I've tried to resist...cuz ya know...shes not earned my trust yet. I've, perhaps mistakenly, thought of her as the incredibly beautiful, charming woman who I'll totally fall for who will promptly stab me in the neck. She is gaining my trust. Hell, I took her to Cincy and back and plenty of places since. And ya know what?? Despite my reservations, she is rock solid AND gorgeous. I'm starting to believe in her. I'm talking of course about my classic Jaguar XJ6. I've had an Audi 5000, a BMW 635 CSI, 2 VW's and 2 Saab 900's. Of that lot I've always loved the ole bulletproof Saab 900 Turbo convertible the most. I gave it to my son Derek when I bought the Jag, with much trepidation. I LOVED that Sabb 900...for real. I adored her. And she was so good to me. Everything you could want in a car she was.

I've always thought that Jaguar made some of the most sexy, beautiful cars in the world. But ya know...they just couldnt be trusted. You really really WANTED to love them...worship them. But *stab!!!* right in the neck. Ow. That really smarts. But NO!! Not MY beauty! Hell no...shes gorgeous, sexy AND reliable. So PISS OFF all you Jag haters. She is mine...and I'm beginning to feel that love...

She is possessed of the most comfortable seats that I have EVER sat in. Ever. The ride and motor are pure silk...smoooooth. Acres of lovely butterscotch leather surround me. And then theres that burled carpathian elm woodwork, Am I in a freakin ROLLS?? It damn near feels like it. The ultra-thin steering wheel and the elegant, slightly gear shifter are masterpieces. Its so easy to fall. Mmmmmmm....and she is just so damn sexy. 8)

Brawl of America- Day 3...This is IT!

Now THATS more like it. 4-1. Yeahhhh...I like the sound of that...4-1. And, true to form, I gave the Madolls my blessing when I picked Deeetroit to topple them. You can all thank me later with a couple of shots of ice cold Jaeger Madison. I'm a cheap fix! Yeah, the good ole Madolls...ALWAYS goin opposite my pick. Some things never change. Before we get to Day 3's picks can I just go off on a tangent for a moment? Sacred City??? HELLO?? Are you even there?? WTF was THAT last night against Denver?? Are you kidding me? Are my eyes deceiving me? Cuz there is NO WAY you all went down to Denver 309-19 right?? I'm here rubbin my eyes in total disbelief. Yer SAC CITY!! Come on!! 309-19?? Gee...guess I woulda lost the over-under on THAT one! What the livin hell is going on in Sacramento these days? Look-DEN is good, I get that. But they're not THAT good.

Oh well...onto todays sure fire cant miss picks:

1. G Rag v the Minnies

G Rag has been something of a disappointment and something of a mystery. Can I just ask what has happened to this team?? They aren't this mediocre...they're NOT. But ya know the old saying...you are what yer record SAYS you are. And the skaters of Grand Raggidy?? Well....hmmmm. Theirs gotta be something goin on there that I'm not aware of because they are a much better team than they've shown lately. I am aware that injuries have played a part. At any rate its a safe bet to go all out on the Minnies in this one and they'll be out to impress their Homies in this final bout of the Tournament for them.

2. NStar v the Mighty Archies

This may well prove to be the closest, most exciting game of the day. And I think by now we've all seen how good those Northstar girls really are. I'm impressed-you're impressed. But today they will go down to the Mighty Archies. The Archies are just a bit more battle-tested than NStar and have a bit more experience under pressure. Yep...Archies will win a tight one. And dont be surprised if by this time next year the Arch Rival skaters are in the National Tournament. Oh...and Chanel? You kick ASS.

3. Tricky Cincy v Deeetroit

Well, I went off a bit on Sac City already so what the hell...I'll ask the question. Why isnt Deeetroit performing better this season? They're slide began last year but I really believe that Car City has a much better team than we've seen thus far. I'm totally serious...they are BETTER than this! Whats the reason for their recent decline? Deeetroit should always be at least a Top 10 team. I mean, they have one of the greatest Jammers in all of Derbydom...Racer McChaser. That Jammergirl is ridiculous. Awesome skillz!! LOVE her game. But she cant do it all by herself Deeetroit. I'm going with the Sadies in this one. oops...did I just say the "Sadies"?? I MEANT to say Tricky Cincy...really I did. Promise.

4. the Madolls v the CRUSHERS

Its all over. Its all been decided, before this Tournament even began. Windy kills all in their path with fierceness and mad talent. The Crushers will dominate. The Madolls will look promising early but its only a matter of time until they begin to get worn down by the crushing force of Windy. Their willpower will wither by the 2nd half and it will all be over. Cuz the Crushers only have 4 opponents in al the land to fear: the Goths, the Original Muthas, the Cheesesteaks and the Lucky Charms. For real. And I dont believe they're too damn frightened of those 4 teams really. WCR= North Central Champs!

Brawl of America-Day 2

Yeah yeah...go ahead. Rub it in. I only went 2-2 yesterday although the Mighty Archies damn near caught up to Tricky Cincy in the last few minutes of what was an amazing bout. Oh if only. Then I woulda been a respectable 3-1. And Chanel woulda been smiling a lil bigger. I'm not gonna lie...2-2 SUCKS and I'm not happy about it. The ONE time I dont pick the Burns and they burn ME. Shit. Sorry C-town...ya know I WANTED to pick ya...didnt I say that?? Huh?? Yeah, I'm scrambling here. I did pick one mild upset tho...the Brewskis came thru! Well, I'm a gambler and sometimes ya just gotta go for it. But enuff about yesterday...on to todays action:

1. #26 NStar v #25 the Minnies

Ah yes...the battle of Minnesota. The well established and more experienced Minnies take on the upstart NStars, who may lack experience but have loads of skill and heart. I do believe that this bout will be a 4-5 point spread thru most of the game and who ends up in the penalty box the most will most likely lose. I gotta go NStar here. They played their asses off against Beer City yesterday and I just feel that they dont wanna go winless in their first Tournament. Dont be surprised if the Minnies pull this one out because its gonna be VERY close. Still...NStars.

2. #34 G Rag v #18 the Archies

G Rag really seemed overwhelmed and lackluster yesterday against those Burns and I dont really get why. YES the Burns played exceptional Derby but still...ya gotta wonder. After what I saw yesterday from both of these teams I predict the Archies in a landslide. They'll pull away early and never look back. And thats not the Fanboy in me talking either. For that matter if St L was goin up against Cincy again today I would STILL pick 'em. Sorry. The upside with the Archies is huge. And G Rag?? What the hell happened yesterday??

3. #36 the Burns v #32 Beer City

Yikes. This is the tuffest pick of the day...really. I've tortured myself on this predict and I just havent convinced myself that one team has any distinct advantage over the other. IF the Brewskis can play consistently the WHOLE bout and not get streaky then I hafta go with them. Yeah...I'm gonna lay my $$$ on the Brewskis here and I could easily get burned. but when in doubt just go with yer heart. Even if ya lose, well, ya went with yer heart so...<3 Brewski LOVE <3. Sorry Burns, ya know I've been pullin for ya all year. So dont kick me when I see ya several months from now against Race City 'kay??

4. #15 Tricky Cincy v #2 the Crushers

Cincy?? You know yer good...WE know yer good. So now that we've established that, it doesnt matter if Sadie has the game of her career it just wont be enuff today...not against THIS team. Chi-town will prove to be waaaay too much and should win comfortably. It wont be close after about 15 minutes.

5. #16 Deeetroit v #11 Madolls

Mad Rollin has a way of going opposite of my picks. All the time this happens...I pick em to win-they lose. I pick em to lose-they win. And so it goes. well I'm picking em to lose against the fiesty skaters of Deeetroit today. Which means of course, good news for the Madolls. Wait a minute...what am I thinkin?? Its soooo obvious...the Madolls will WIN!! Which is to say that they will lose. Uhhhhh wait a minute. Thats not right is it? Ummmm...no. Lay it out for Deeetroit. I'm serious. Sorry Madolls. I mean, congratulations!!

Well, Friday was one of those days when I just broke even. I mean, I was entertained and all, but the money just broke even. Be careful today laying big money on that Burns v Brewskis bout. Actually...just stay away from it. Go the safe route and bet the house on Windy. And let the warm feeling of winning envelop you as you go to the cash window with that WCR ticket. The Crushers will DOMINATE this Tournament. Just watch.

North Central Bout Predictions! The Brawl of America!!

Hey...I know I've been fairly absent lately but its been a very ummmm..."interesting" summer. And I mean "interesting" as in the Chinese curse. Ya know...like "may you have an interesting" life". Uhhhh huh. SUUUURE. Uh, I gotta better idea...howzabout YOU have an "interesting" life. No more drama please...thank you. This summer had some high points too tho. Dont know why I'm always so compelled to rate my year according to how the summer went. At any rate, on to the predictions. The first 4 games:

1. #32 Beer City v # 26 NStars

I make no apologies...I'm a heartfelt fan of those skaters that hail from the land of the Brew. So it could just be my heart overwhelming my brain but I dont think so. I honestly believe that the Brewskis are gonna take this one. They have matured and play a more disciplined game than last year. This team has talent and theyve played some tuff teams the past couple of seasons. Now, dont get me wrong...I like Northstar...really. I hafta admit that I'm still a bit surpised with how good NStar really is.Who knew?? Well we all know now. Those NStar skaters have skill. Having said that I would also have to look at the fact that the Brewskis are more "battle tested". And ultimately I think that may prove the difference for Beer City. And I love Jammer Rejected Seoul...when shes on-shes ON.

2. #34 G Rag v #36 the Burns

I have been bragging on those Cleveland rollergirls for a while now and I like the direction that they have gone over the past year. For one thing, they really have a "fight to the end" attitude and a lot of desire. You would THINK that I would pick the Burns in this match up wouldn't you?? Welll...no. I cant quite explain it but I just have this gut instinct telling me that the skaters of Grand Rapids are gonna win this one somehow. I WANT to pick the Burns. I do. But for whatever reason I just dont "feel" it. BRRG fans can kick me in the shins if I'm wrong. But...uhhh...just one at a time okay? That shit kinda hurts. I really thought that this was gonna be a rebuilding year of sorts for the Grand Raggidy rollergirls. But their progress has been quick and they've surprised me with how solid they are.

3. #25 the Minnies v #2 the Crushers

The Crushers. WCR. Chi-town. Windy f'n CITY. They are mighty and they are strong. And they will make quick work in this one. And thats no insult to the Minnesota skaters...really. I dont think that theres more than 4 teams in the world that can beat Windy. Seriously. So dont feel bad Minnies...the Crushers are BRUTAL. They have everything. Speed, power, tuffness, smarts...ya know, the total package. The real shit. I will also say right now that the Windy Girls will win this whole tournament. Ya know that I would LOVE to pick an upset and be all bold, but I'm pickin THIS favorite. Cause I'm not stupid. Ya bet to win. And WCR have IT.

4. #18 the Archies (*swoon*) v #15 Tricky Cincy

Its all come to this in a way for the Archies.The past 2 years that is. They are HERE...in the Tournament. How awesome is that? You cant find a more likeable team in Derby than Arch Rivals. You can find teams AS likeable but none MORE. St L has a very charismatic team and have improved steadily over the past year. And ya know what? I have no problem picking the Archies in this one. Of course you also know that this will be a tooth and nail battle the whole way. Trips to the Sin Bin could spell all the difference in this one. I expect a very close bout to the end and Cincy DOES have much more experience. And they DO have the intense and ultra-competitive Sadistic Sadie. What a freakin player she is too. So much talent. But if the Archies contain her?? What then? That must be goal #1 for ARRG. CONTAIN SADIE. Yer not gonna stop her, I can tell ya that! Anyway...yeah...Archies...in a close one. Win it for Chokehold Chanel...#5!! You will always RULE Chanel. Best of luck to you!

I'll actually try to update as the Tournament proceeds, really I will. No...really, I will. Ya know, if "interesting" shit doesnt happen. If life doesnt kick me in the junk. Cause if I've realized anything this summer its that you really never know how sideways life can go. And then sideways again shortly after. And in the end...ya just gotta laugh. Thats what I do.

Naptowns 2009-10 Schedule...a Few Thoughts

Naptown has just released their schedule for the upcoming season and I'm both excited and disappointed. I'm gonna run thru the whole Home season real quick-like...so hang on:

1- Nap v the Hearts

I actually was privy to this match up a few months ago when I heard that the bout was a go at the Bleeding Heartland v Hard Knox game in Bloomington. I've been DYING to see these 2 teams play and the time is right to start up a new rivalry that could potentially match the intensity of NRG v F Dubb or Tricky Cincy. The Hearts are ranked #66/FTS because of low participation. B'ton IS a WFTDA team now and they have an amazing Jammer named KaKa Caliente who totally impressed me both times I've seen her play. She has "it"...that fire and skill that seperates the merely good from the great. It will be interesting to see how she fares against tuffer competition. Currently the Hearts are 1-1 overall with a win against Hard Knox and a loss against G Rag. HK are ranked at #53, so that was a real nice win for them a few months ago. This is gonna be a cant miss bout and I'm real excited to see that these 2 teams are finally gonna get it on. Oh and I gotta mention another very nice Jammer for the Hearts named Bad Mudda Trucka. When I last saw her she was injured but I would think that she'll be ready to go for the Nap bout.

2- Nap v the Burns

First thing I'm gonna say about this bout is that Burning River has come a very very long way since we last saw them getting beaten handily by Naptown here in Indy. And I know their overall record is an unimpressive 3-9 but dont be fooled. The Burns have a very good team and they have gotten progressively better over the past 1-1/2 years. They defeated F Dubb along the way 78-70 but FW got even a few months later. I'm sure that the Cleveland skaters are gonna give Race City all they can handle in this bout and its gonna be much more competitive than the last time they met. Some names you may remember from the Burns roster: Milfinator (if she rejoins the travel team), Ivanna Destroya, Rogue Cheddar and Coco Sparx.

3- Nap v the Derbies

You all know that I'll be supporting our Homegirls and all but I hafta admit that I'm a Derby City fan. They just have a real likeable team and thats important to me. I finally got a chance to see the Derbies play last year when they took on the Hearts in Bloomington. Even tho they lost, largely because of a questionable call, the Derby C skaters were a blast at the afterparty and I can still see some of them leaping up on stage and dancing with hula hoops and laughing. I have no idea what Louisvilles record is but they've played mostly "Division 2" level teams. The Naptown girls should win this one from experience alone but you can bet yer ass that we'll all have a blast at the afterparty!! The Derbies are just cool.

4- Nap v Memphis

Ya know how I was saying that the Burns had a somewhat deceptive record? Well so does Memphis, the opposite way. Memphis' record overall is 5-2 but they lost against the only 2 serious teams that they've faced...Nash and the ATL. They'll be taking a BIG step up when the face off against Indy so it will be interesting to see how this one goes. Yeah...I know that Memphis is ranked #27 and Nap is at #39 right now but the NRG girls have been waaaay more battle tested against major teams. Memphis?? Uhhhh...not as much. So much for rankings eh?

5- Nap v the Sioux

Oh yes...the Fighting Sioux. Sioux Falls have a very nice team and I was suitably impressed when I got the chance to see them in action at the last Fall Brawl. They are largely unnoticed but everyone better be ready for a real nail-biter when this bout goes down. The Sioux will lay it all on the line and play with a lot of energy and spirit.They are ranked #41 with a record of 2-2. They BARELY lost to Ohio 88-85 and that one really could have gone SF's way. Win or lose, I'm quite sure that the NapFans will find themselves impressed with this under-rated team from the Dakotas.

6- Nap v OH

Yeah...someday a clever nick will emerge for those Ohio skaters but not today. Ohio is 8-16 and ranked #36 but did ya know that they have gone 6-1 this summer? Oh my. Ohio have found themselves and are finally rising up in the rankings and have been very determined lately. You all remember this team from last season when they JUST did win against Race City. Remember Drrty Girl,Phoenix Bunz and Chewblocka? And I better see Kitty Liqourbottom on the roster this time or some heads are gonna roll!! Shes so cool. Hopefully we'll get to see Jaden Blayze too. Ohio has a team that ranks very high on the likeability scale and thats always good. So expect a dynamite afterparty regardless of who emerges victorious. And that Ohio Coach is awesome too. Intense.

I was so excited to see Bloomington on the Home schedule. And up and coming teams like the Sioux and the Burns. But no Cincy? No F Dubb? Wheres that fiery rivalry bout? And from a purely personal perspective it would have been awesome to see one of my faves like Beer City or the Archies. Or how about a BIG step up? Ya know...Deeeetroit. Madolls or G Rag? I know that schedules can be very tricky...timing, opportunity and scheduling conflicts all play a part. As well as a bit of politics. At any rate, the schedule is set and it should be a very entertaining season as the NRG skaters debut their new home...the Pepsi Coliseum. I hope that it doesnt seem too cavernous in there and that the sense of intimacy and comeraderie isnt affected. However it was just time to take another step up and see if this loud and spirited Naptown crowd can grow....I can understand that. It should still be as nice and bright as the Toyota Pavilion (photographers rejoice!!). Get ready NapFans...NRG4LIFE!

European Champions...the London Rollergirls!!! I <3 U LRG!

It became painfully obvious , as we all suspected, that the London Rollergirls were the class of European Roller Derby witnessing their performance during the Roll Britannia Tournament. After dismantling Team East Angrier by a score differential of +190 the London skaters nailed Stuttgart by a + 131 advantage. And then in the semi-finals the Mighty LRG completely dominated Glasgow 225-11. For those keeping differential score thats a +214 in favor of London Brawling.Uh huh. Complete and confident, the London team rolled thru the competition like a quad-fitted steamroller and never gave their opponents a chance to catch their breath.

And the Championship against Birmingham was never in doubt either as the LRG ran away with the Euro-Crown by 333 points, holding the Birmingham offense to a scant 13 points. Now THATS defense. Err..and offense too. And depth...and teamwork...and coaching...and discipline. What an incredible performance the London Girls put on for the Derby World to see. There can be no doubt that those Londoners are the absolute class of Euro-Derby and I have a feeling that they wil dominate for some time to come. They are, after all, the UK Muthas. Yeahhhh...the UK Muthas. That has a nice ring to it doncha think?

I would personally rank them in the top 30 worldwide. I really think so. I know, I know, they havent played any US teams yet so how can I say that?? Lets just chalk it up to a gut instinct thing okay?? I cant sit here and present statistical evidence of their place in the rankings up against American competition but I CAN give witness to what I saw in the Roll Britannia Tournament and what I saw was utter dominance. What I saw was a team that I am totally convinced could take on a whole lotta US teams and give 'em a serious fight. Yeahhhh...I see them somewhere around 27th overall in the world. You dont think that the LRG would give many WFTDA teams fits?? I would beg to differ. I know what this team is capable of and they will only get better as the competition around them improves. I could see London giving teams like the ATL or the Doms a serious fight. And thats no diss of the ATL or the Doms at all...just a major compliment to the UK Muthas.

Of course I know this all remains to be seen and its a matter of conjecture and debate. I have to say that I could see an East Coast road trip for the Londoners next year. Unfortunately you know what that means...the Carols, the Beans, the Lucky Charms, the Cheesesteaks or *gasp* the Goths (nooooo!!!). And I fear that with such top-notch competition the LRG skaters could get blown out and lose some confidence and the impression of Euro-Derby could get murkier instead of clearer. I would much rather see the Brawlers taking on teams more at their level of competitiveness. Ya know...the Burns, the District, the ATL, Ohio...that kinda team. A team that would offer up a real battle,but one that would be a competitive bout. I dont really wanna see LRG get smoked by the Beans or the Belles ya know?

Overall I would say that the Brawlers have impressed everyone thats been paying attention and they are amazing. I'm sure that the quality of UK Derby will only improve as experience starts paying off and the crowds start getting bigger. Perhaps the Roll Britannia Tournament will in fact be the annual equivalent of the European Championship.

London Brawling from the underworld!
Run for cover all you boys and girls!

09 Kamikaze Kitten (Captain)
13 Correctional Felicity (vice captain)
ICU2 Ena Flash
04 Fox Sake
08 Slice Andice
11 Viva KniEvil
17 Sky Rockit
19 Lola Vulkano
B52 Axis of Evon
73 Bette Noir
75 Metallikat
DFF#77 Hula Gunn
85 Poison Arrow
U96 Nuke-Leah
138 El Visious
.357 Raw Heidi
410 Missyle Elliott
900cc Ninjette
931 The Bexorcist
1984 Grievous Bodily Charm


*** o4 Fox Sake fans of the world unite!!! <3

Too soon to predict but I will anyway...the Goths defend their crown

Yeah...the Original Muthas looked intense for the first 45 minutes of their already legendary EPIC clash against the WFTDA Champs the Mighty Gothic Wall of Complete and Utter Dominance. The Gothic Queens of the Universe eventually wore down and frustrated the Muthas, forcing them to the Sin Bin in the most critical moments of the game and then the inevitable began. The Queens pulled away...and never looked back. They are the Queens of the Derby-verse and no one...and I mean NO ONE is gonna steal their crown this year. They are STILL the unmoveable object in a Universe they currently own.

Name one Jammer tandem beter than Suzy and Bonnie...I know you can't. They are both the epitomy of what a Jammer is supposed to be. They are the prototypes that can be held up as the role model for other aspiring ass kickers, thats for sure. The duo that comes to mind for me by way of comparison is, of course, KC's Snot Rocket and Xcelerator. Now THAT was a damn Jammer one-two punch that would leave you gasping and pissed. Because of their dominance and clockwork point scoring the Warriors won a Championship. Not that their supporting cast were slackers. That was an excellent team. But since Snot and X?? No one.

The only team at this point that could truly threaten the Goths are those Belles of Cheesesteak City. And they've got some serious Jammer talent as we saw last weekend against Windy. Hell...they've got serious talent all over their squad. Teflon Donna tore it up when the Phils needed her most and she played like a Champion, as did the whole team. Still...they went to the closing seconds of the bout with the Crushers and really, I have to say to myself, "If they had big big trouble against Chi-town than how will they look up against the Tank of Hellish Gothic Destruction??". Its just not very likely that ANYONE has an answer for these Ruling Goths. No one. And thats why I will predict here and now that the Gothic Queens will defend their Championship this year. Because, ya know, anything can happen...but I'm a bettin' man ya understand. And I make $$$ all day long on the Goths. Get the f*ck outta their way. They are the Gothic Derby Machine.

And here are your WFTDA Champions:

Ana Bollocks 00 // Barbara Ambush 1600 // Bonnie Thunders 340 // Brigitte Barhot Swingin' 60s // Donna Matrix 2 // Fisti Cuffs 241 // Ginger Snap 80 // Hyper Lynx 404 // Kandy Kakes Perfect 10 // Papierschnitt 8 1/2 x 11 // Polly Gone 222 // Surly Temple 99 // Suzy Hotrod 55 // Sweet Sherry Pie 201

Mozilla Firefox 3.5 Really Pissed Me Off...

In hindsight perhaps not the greatest move, I stupidly "upgraded" to Mozilla Firefox 3.5...and quickly regretted it. After installing the "upgrade" I noticed my toolbar was jacked up. And then I realized that I had no right click function whatsoever. Nada...nothing. Grrrrrr....

I went to my desktop and of course everything was fine. Then I begrudgingly got on Internet Explorer, which I despise, and my right click function was just fine there too. Too bad I dont remember 16 passwords so that I can actually use IE. *sigh* I NEVER use IE for anything ever. It just moves too damn slowly...among other irritating personality traits. I need SPEED dammit!!! Now! Now! Now!!

And then after fixing the toolbar and re-installing 3.5 2x (it locked up the first time) I did manage to get my right click back. Then I was REALLY pissed when I found that Realplayer SP and Firefox 3.5 are mortal enemies and just plain HATE each other. So yeah...no damn video downloading on Youtube whatsoever. Now THAT pissed me off. I searched everywhere for a solution until I found that if you re-install Realplayer SP that they will cooperate w/each other. This is a very very recent development however. Those that were first to "upgrade" to 3.5 were just left scrambling. Idiots. Howzabout taking a little more time Mozilla and get your upgrade actually working before unleashing it. An annoying couple of hours were spent screwing w/this nonsense last night and this morning. At one point I gave up on 3.5 entirely and decided to re-install 3.1

Yeah...easier said than done. At 2AM, in a semi-conscious state while still sipping Hypnotiq, I blundered into Mozilla's archives and was able to figure out how to install it from there. And all the way at the tail end of the installation...ya know, when you click "finish"?...everything just locked up. G*d d*mn s*nuva b*tchin #@*!!!


Sorry...I needed to vent. What does this actually have to do with the Greatest Womens Sport in the world?? Uhhhh...well...*shrugs* Anger? Attitude? A "Dont mess with me or I'll put a quad right into yer kneecaps" kinda spunk??

Mozilla Firefox 3.5****Dont waste my time

An Update from Tequila Mockingbird

Hey Folks,
I am still kicking in Oklahoma City. The Oklahoma City derby girls have been a great help both with fundraisers and donating their time. A large part of my life has been fighting with Medicaid and doing paperwork, since it turns out that Chicago's Medicaid program is much better than here; so, in a year, we plan to return to Chicago and may be just spending the worst of the winters in Oklahoma. I'm also hoping to return to work next year as a lawyer at least part time. Dan and I have been able see several of the derby games here, which were fantastic. I spend a lot of time working out, sitting on the porch reading, and playing with our pets.
I have walking therapy once or twice a week on the Lokamat, a robotic walking machine that exists in only a handful of cities across the country. Fortunately, two of those are in Chicago and Oklahoma City. I have been involved with the Oklahoma University Medical Center, Jim Thorpe Rehabilitation, and various Medicaid home therapies. I am working on saving up for a recumbent cross training machine, and a stander, so I can do more therapy on my own; I would also eventually like to spend more time doing aqua-therapy. The rest of my workout is at home for now. Now that I am approaching the second anniversary of my injury, my strength and energy level have increased dramatically. My lungs in particular have regained some of their former strength. I can walk three hundred feet on a platform walker with very little assistance and over half an hour on the treadmill with a harness. With the help of Craig "Moose Ondaluce" Alleman, here in OKC, I am putting together a video of some of my progress. Thank all of you for your support. I will keep you updated as best I can.
Special thanks to The Oklahoma Victory Dolls, Rollercon, all contributors, and Dakota Prosch.

Donations:
www.HelpTequila. com
My Paypal account is tahirahjohnson@ hotmail.com

Send checks made out to Tahirah Johnson:
3309 NW 24th St.
Oklahoma City, OK 73107

or directly to my bank:
North Community Bank c/o Tahirah Johnson
Attn: Amber Barnhill
1555 N. Damen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60622

Love you Tequila!!! <3 <3 <3

And a big time shout out to OKC Rollergirls...thank you for being awesome!

__._,_.__

Roll Britannia Official results or 04 Fox Sake I love UK Derby!

Roll Britannia Day Two

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 13
London London Brawling 346

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 70
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 120

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 11
London London Brawling 225

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 123
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 109

Roll Britannia Day One

Roll Britannia

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 137
Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 46

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 46
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 137

Central City Central City Rollergirls 72
Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 81

Leeds Leeds Roller Dolls 93
Berlin Berlin Bombshells 103

Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 11
London London Brawling 202

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 29
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 88

Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 45
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 124

Berlin Berlin Bombshells 89
Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 112

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 10
London London Brawling 141

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 59
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 48

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 94
Central City Central City Rollergirls 74

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 101
Leeds Roller Dolls 59

It looks like Roll Britannia #1 was a real success and hopefully this will be an annual event that Derby fans worldwide can look forward to. I expect Derby to continue to catch fire in Germany and wouldnt be the least bit surprised to see a few more German teams in the mix the next couple of years. And maybe a Scandinavian team? Irish? European Roller Derby will continue to grow I'm sure and some day you know that there will be a World Championship. Perhaps it could be held every 4 years like the World Cup or the Olympics. That would be too cool!! Love to the 2009 Roll Britannia Champions LONDON Rollergirls!! Love you UK Derby girls and a special shout out to 04 Fox Sake...<3>

ECE Bout Predictions Here!! or Damn its Gonna be a Busy Ass Weekend

Okay...predictions galore! The rankings are current Flat Track Stat rankings, NOT WFTDA. Cause thats how I roll people. You know that.

#7 Lucky Charms v #5 the Rats
I gotta go Charms in this one and its not just a matter of being a Charmfan okay? I have seen evidence that the Rats have stabilized and are certainly a force but when I check in with the 'ole gut instinct I just have to go Charms in this one. Having said that, I expect this to be an excellent, closely contested bout. I simply have been more impressed with Lovely Charm thus far than Rat C. Its just that simple. Flo and Joy are my kinda Rollergirls...mentally tuff and skillz to spare.

#31 F Dubb v #35 G Rag
Last year this time there is no way in hell that I woulda picked FW. NO f'n WAY. This year?? I would have SOOO picked F Dubb. Note that I said WOULD have. That was until Kitty retired and, more concerning, Pushycat got injured. No Pushy? No victory for FW. Pushy skating? An F Dubb victory. For real. She really is that critical to the success of the FW team. Soooo, yeah, G Rag gets a lucky break and wins this one. FW NEEDS Pushycat in the worst way. And really its too bad because the Dubb has really put together an impressive season.

#54 the Conn v #56 the Dominatrixes
The Conn did impress me last week and they are a lot better than some might realize but I just cant pick 'em yet over Dominion. Yes, the Dom have had a ruff stretch recently and there is no denying that. But I just am not ready to count them out. The Dom skaters start righting the ship THIS weekend. Ya read it here first. Put up the money Rollerheads.

#43 the Burns v #46 the District
DC have one of those teams that are better than rollerheads know. But I have been very impressed with the Burns over the course of the last year and they have steadily progressed to the point where I KNOW they will win this one. They have become a fairly well-rounded team and the talent is there to surprise some people this weekend. The city of the Burning River is gonna be raising some frothy brews to the victory of their Rollergirls. But those Capitol City girls will be gamers. Believe me. This should be a very entertaining and interesting game.

#26 the ATL v #67 Montreal
Nah...havent come up with a clever nick for those Montreal gals yet, but this bout will be all ATL. Bet the house on this bout because its a lock. Flat out. The ATL just have waaaay more bout experience and its gonna show. Now prove me wrong MON...

#27 the Minnies v #45 Brewskis
And here's where I EARN my $$$. I am throwing the rankings right out the proverbial window and going Brewskis in this bout. It surely seems like an upset pick and all but I am here to tell ya that the Beer City girls have turned the corner and the Minnies?? Ummmm...not so much. Look, I really do like MIN, I do. Believe me. But they just seem to have underperformed in recent memory and its gotta be time for those Brewskis to rise up and grab some glory for themselves. Ya hear that Grace? Hell yeah...Brewskis baby! This could be the year when they turn some heads. Of course, whadda I know?? I adore the Brewskis win OR lose.

#10 Mad Dolls v #13 Warriors
In this bout ya gotta go with those Milkmaids ya know? The KC squad has been rebounding from some critical roster losses this year and I hafta say that they have been much better than I figured they would be. But no. The Mad Doll Milkmaids shall rise and conquer. And I have heard that if they win then they will retire those "uni's" forever. Well...thats what I'VE heard. And my dark alley sources are always legit. Sorta kinda.

#18 Tricky Cincy v #2 Crushers
Come on...ya KNOW I'm not betting any of my oh so precious cashish on any upsets over Windy. No way. Unless yer team goes by the name of the Goths or the Cheesesteaks I am not even gonna go there. The Crushers will once again prove why they are the class of midwestern Derby. And they will once again prove why I have nicked them the CRUSHERS. Sorry Sadie. Its gonna be a very ruff bout for the Tricky squad.

#8 the Beans v #12 the Carols
This is without a doubt the tuffest pick of al Saturdays bouts. These 2 teams are just so damn evenly matched that I could easily make a case for either team. And thats considering the fact that I am in the Princess America Cult of True Believers. Join us...become one of the chosen. She truly has the awesome blessings of the Derby Goddess. But my infamous gut instinct has whispered in my ear and it has said in its quiet but convincing voice, "Go with the Beans...it's their game". So...uhhhh...I'm listening to that quiet 'lil voice. Beans. Go with the Boston squad. Because Pussy Venom said so. And ya really dont wanna piss her off.

#15 Deeeeetroit v #7 Lovely Charm
I have to believe that Car City will give the Charms quite a battle but when all is said and done the Lovely Charm skaters have been a better team all year long. Why has Deeetroit slipped? I mean, they do have one of the best damn Jammers in the country. Yeah...Racer freakin McChaser totally KILLS. But so far I just havent seen the fight and desire that used to be their identity. Any D-Town fans wanna weigh in? Because in my mind they are a much better team than they have shown thus far this year. Still gotta love that Racer tho. But I gotta love those Charms a little more.

#5 the Rats v #4 the Cheesesteaks
I will say right here and now that I am a believer in Philly. They have speed, strength, depth, willpower and skillz in abundance! Liberty City is one of only 2 teams in all the land that I honestly believe could upset the Mighty Goths in a Derby bloodbath. I just love that Philly squad. And whats even cooler is that they just have so much personality. They are a very colorful squad of skaters that are a real blast to watch in action. Have I made it abundantly clear yet how much I like this Cheesesteak team?? Philly over the Rats. Sorry Seattle. I have ya goin 0-2 on Saturday. My how times have changed...

I'll have the Sunday picks for all of you Derby gambling addicts by Saturday night. I mean, I know how much is riding on these picks. It may mean the difference between hot dogs or filet mignon. Not that I personally eat any of that stuff. Nahhhh. For me its more a case of having a six of Natty Lite or a huge bottle of my beloved (some say hallucinagenic) Jaeger. And...uhhhh...I'm waaaay more in the mood for an ecstatic Jaeger buzz. Know what I mean? Natty Lite gives me a headache.

Roll Britannia!!! The 1st Euro Derby Tournament

Coming very soon is the Roll Britannia European Tournament and as I have become more fascinated with the UK Derby scene I want Rollerheads everywhere to be aware of this historic moment. The Tournament will be in London at the Earls Court !! Unreal. I really hope that there is an awesome turnout because all these teams deserve to be supported and cheered on. The Berlin and Stuttgart teams will be playing in the Tournament too and that is just more evidence of the growing Roller Derby phenomenon! I love it!! Check out the teams that will be in attendance:

Participating leagues are
Auld Reekie Rollergirls (Edinburgh, Scotland)
Berlin Bombshells (Berlin, Germany)
Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames (Birmingham, England)
Central City Rollergirls (Birmingham, England)
Glasgow Roller Girls (Glasgow, Scotland)
Leeds Roller Dolls (Leeds, England)
London Rockin Rollers (London, England)
London Rollergirls (London, England)
Rainy City Rollergirls (Manchester, England)
Royal Rebel Rollers (mixed team of Middlesborough Milk Rollers, Rebellion Rollergirls, and Windsor Rollergirls (Middlesborough, Kempston, & Windsor, England))
Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz (Stuttgart, Germany)
Team East Angrier (mixed team of Romsey Town Rollerbillies and Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls (Cambridge & Bedford, England))

Is that killer or what?! The London Rollergirls are busting their asses to build support and fans for the UK Derby scene and I wish them all the best. I will keep everyone abreast of the results from this tournament and I'm sure I'll have a few opinions too. Stay tuned...

In the meantime go here for more info and support UK Roller Derby!!

http://rollbritannia.com/index.php

The Unreal Texas Triple-header or Have the Muthas Gone Mental??

Ya really do have to admire the guts that it takes to do what the Original Muthas are gonna be doing starting Friday. Takin on the Mighty Goths would be more than enuff but no...thats not enuff. The OM's just gotta get a few cold brews, some carbs, a little late-nightt dancing and some beauty sleep. Then its up and at 'em w/a double-header against the likes of Lovely Charm AND the Beans! Whoa.Thats whack. Must be nice having Derby superpowers like the Muthas. However, there is just no damn way that I'm gonna even THINK about the NYC Hellish Tank of Destruction goin down to TX. Sorry. Cant get my mind around it. Oh, it'll be a closer bout than LAST year for sure, but in the end I cant see the Goths losing. Oh, I know that they will sooooome day. Just not FRIday. Even without Beyonslay. Rumor has it that the Gothic Queens will be wearing OKVD armbands for the bout (I kid, I kid).

Which leaves the 2 excellent teams that TX will face on Saturday. First up...the Lucky Charms. And this is the really difficult pick for me. My heart shouts, "CHARMS"! But there's a lil whisper in the back of my head sayin', "Ya better bet Teeeexas". Ya know that the Muthas will be pissed and out for blood but I'm going with my heart in this one: Charms in a 1-4 point squeeker.

Which would leave 0-2 TX tired, worn, drained and REALLY pissed off. At which point they just go OFF on the Beans. The Derby Goddess just cant have her TX skaters goin 0-3 ya know. Nope. She's gonna charge them with sacred Derby energies heretofore unknown. They become all light and sparkly and there's a visible blueish glow that envelops all the Muthas. And they just go OFF. BOS plays it with heart and tuffness but the Goddess-chosen TX wins one in a knock down, rough n tumble kinda bout.

Of course, ya never know with the Originals. Thats the thing. They are fully capable of going 2-1 this weekend. Hell, it wouldnt shock anybody. Yes, I'm covering my ass because I have seen what TX is capable of. But are they still the blueprint?? The Gothic Queens of the Derby Universe may have something to say about that. My money's on them. They're making me rich.

-VicDolls r cool

I Told Ya I Play Favorites!! My 5 (6?) Favorite Teams

There are scores of Derby teams that I admire and even more skaters that I'm crazy about but if I were to list my Top 5 Derby squads then it would look precisely like this:

1. Naptown Rollergirls (Race City/ the Nap)

Now come on. You KNEW I wasnt really gonna slot any other team at #1 in my heart now didja? You all know better than that. Lets see...I live in Indy, these are my beloved Homegirls, I personally know every player on the team and after all they are the reason that I fell for Flat Track Derby in the first place. So yeah, its Naptown way, way on top and everyone else down the list a ways. I AM a Race City guy and I love, no, I LOOOVE this team. They are a class organisation and run their bouts with total professionalism (considering that this is, after all, an Amateur sport). They have an awesome venue and have a lot of involvement in their community. If you EVER come to Indy you must see a Nap bout. you wont believe tha crazy ass crowd that they draw...its EPIC. Just ask any team that has played here. And then there's the skaters. The most down-to-earth, friendly and open skaters you could ever meet. Its so damn easy to love this team. And they have the Angel of Naptown too. Coolest Rollergirl ever. 8)

WFTDA Record: 6-5 FTS #38

2. and 3. Yep. I'm cheatin already. So what? I cant choose between these 2 teams...I adore them both and I make no appy loggy's okay? Just get over it man! I would sooner cut off an opposable thumb than decide who would be #2 between...

Brew City (the Brewskis/ Beer City) or the Arch Rivals (the Archies)

Brewskis:
I first met this team when they played here in Indy and then later, havin fallen madly in love with them all, I caught them against Ft Wayne. Milwaukee has been blessed with one of the coolest, friendliest, most likeable squad of Rollergirls around. Where do I even start? Howzabout Rejected Seoul? Or Grace Killy? Or Romaniac? Or Coach Swingwreck? And this team has a great sense of humor and couldnt be more fun to Afterparty with. Damn I wish they were geographically closer.I would never miss a bout. I love you Beer City girls! I'm a fan for life.

WFTDA Record- 4-5 FTS # 39

Archies:
I first saw these skaters at Fall Brawl '08 when they shocked everyone by winning the Tournament with class, grace and style. They've also been blessed with two of the coolest Coaches ever. I was immediately impressed with their heart and spirit. The Archies also have a Jammer that RULES named Chokehold Chanel. I asked her hand in marriage but dammit I was too late. Yeah...she's married. Chanel is one of the coolest Rollergirls I've ever met or seen in action and she totally has everything you could ever want in a Jammer. I would put her right in the Top 10 Jammers without hesitation, but of course I am not the most objective source in Derbydom ya know. We're talkin total love here okay? Yeah...sigh...CHANEL. Even the sound of her name...
Okay, I'm snapping out of it okay?! How couldja just let me go on like that? This is turnin into a love letter. But not only does ARRG have the lovely Chanel but they also have Artemischief, The Educator, Eli Wallop and Davey Blockit. Awesome team and great people. Like the Beer City gang, you couldnt have a nicer squad to party with when the bout is over regardless of who won or lost. I've already worn out my Archies tee. I really really wanna see that Archies v F Dubb bout August 1st. Please let it happen o great Derby Goddess...this may be Chanels last season ( NOOOOOOOO!!). And ya know whats really cool? They have never once given me shit for nicknaming them the Archies. Love you St Louis skaters!

WFTDA Record: 5-5 FTS #19

3. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls ( The Rocks/ the Killer Rocks)

Damn straight Rocky Mountain!! You KNEW that already Frida...total Derby love to the Rocks. I soooo wish that Denver was...uhhh...way closer. Thats a hellride on the bike ya know? I started watching footage of this team nearly 2 years ago and was totally blown away by the way they play the game. It just doesnt matter what the hell the score is, when yer talking about playin it out 110% to the final Jam, you couldnt get any better than these Rollergirls. Period. Heart, fight and toughness thru and thru...thats the Killer Rocks. If I lived anywhere even remotely close to DEN I would have seen these girls in action live by now. I cant wait to see how they do at the Western Regionals this year. I have a feeling that they just may sneak up on a few teams and punch 'em right in the mouth! You have been warned. Plus. I mean, besides the incomparable Frida Beater this team also has Pinky 500, Winona Fighter and She Who Cannot Be Named...what the hell do ya want?! Believe me, this team KILLS. Totally likeable too so that helps.

WFTDA Record: 18-14 FTS #21

4. Charm City ( Lovely Charm/ the Lucky Charms)

Aaaahhh yes. Lovely Charm, a favorite for damn sure. And ya wanna know the truth?? I have never, and I mean EVER rooted for a team from Baltimore. I'm a Colts guy...INDIANAPOLIS Colts that is. I cant get into the Orioles or Goddess forbid, the Ravens. Yick. But Lovely Charm?? I adore them. Cant really explain it or make any sense of it but these girls won me over some time ago. Hell, they even made me want to set foot in Baltimore (wearin my Peyton jersey 'natch) just so I could see 'em playing live. The Lucky Charms are such a cool, interesting team and the more of their bout footage that I see the more impressed I am with their skill and tenacity. They are fully capable of bumping off any top ranked team at any time. They are flat-out DANGEROUS. I mean, after all, we're talkin about a team that has Flo freakin' Shizzle, Rosie the Rioter and Cheeta Torpedo. How cool is that?? Charm City...warriors. Total grade-A Warriors.

WFTDA Record: 18-8 (!) FTS #7

5. Providence (The Prov/ the Lil Team That Could)

I cant help it, I am so into this team. I ALWAYS pull for them. I dubbed them "The Lil Team That Could" because of their potential giant-killer status. The reasons why I so dig this team are a bit vague but for some reason, despite their spotty record, I just see a lot to admire with Prov. Even when the Prov is down and out in a bout they never give up. There's a whole lotta fight in this lil team from Rhode Island. The chances of me being able to see an actual live bout are a little remote but hey, ya never know. Maybe next year they could take on Tricky Cincy or Windy. That would be a realistic drving distance. Its within the realm of possibility...it could happen. This is a team that has a miracle up their sleeve, I can just FEEL it. And if they get in, this Lil Team That Could may surprise a few folks at the Eastern Regionals too. I have such faith in this team, such outright BELIEF in these girls that nothing they do could shock me. Believe in the Prov. Thats all I'm sayin'. I just love an underdog and Providence is my favorite underdog. No doubt. Come on PROV!! Its time for yer miracle run...

WFTDA Record: 7-13 ( I know, I know) FTS #32

Honorable Mentions: Philly, Derby City, Angel City, Hammer City, Dixie, Circle City (non- WFTDA) and the Cherry Bombs (TXRD) You all kick ass!