Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Too soon to predict but I will anyway...the Goths defend their crown

Yeah...the Original Muthas looked intense for the first 45 minutes of their already legendary EPIC clash against the WFTDA Champs the Mighty Gothic Wall of Complete and Utter Dominance. The Gothic Queens of the Universe eventually wore down and frustrated the Muthas, forcing them to the Sin Bin in the most critical moments of the game and then the inevitable began. The Queens pulled away...and never looked back. They are the Queens of the Derby-verse and no one...and I mean NO ONE is gonna steal their crown this year. They are STILL the unmoveable object in a Universe they currently own.

Name one Jammer tandem beter than Suzy and Bonnie...I know you can't. They are both the epitomy of what a Jammer is supposed to be. They are the prototypes that can be held up as the role model for other aspiring ass kickers, thats for sure. The duo that comes to mind for me by way of comparison is, of course, KC's Snot Rocket and Xcelerator. Now THAT was a damn Jammer one-two punch that would leave you gasping and pissed. Because of their dominance and clockwork point scoring the Warriors won a Championship. Not that their supporting cast were slackers. That was an excellent team. But since Snot and X?? No one.

The only team at this point that could truly threaten the Goths are those Belles of Cheesesteak City. And they've got some serious Jammer talent as we saw last weekend against Windy. Hell...they've got serious talent all over their squad. Teflon Donna tore it up when the Phils needed her most and she played like a Champion, as did the whole team. Still...they went to the closing seconds of the bout with the Crushers and really, I have to say to myself, "If they had big big trouble against Chi-town than how will they look up against the Tank of Hellish Gothic Destruction??". Its just not very likely that ANYONE has an answer for these Ruling Goths. No one. And thats why I will predict here and now that the Gothic Queens will defend their Championship this year. Because, ya know, anything can happen...but I'm a bettin' man ya understand. And I make $$$ all day long on the Goths. Get the f*ck outta their way. They are the Gothic Derby Machine.

And here are your WFTDA Champions:

Ana Bollocks 00 // Barbara Ambush 1600 // Bonnie Thunders 340 // Brigitte Barhot Swingin' 60s // Donna Matrix 2 // Fisti Cuffs 241 // Ginger Snap 80 // Hyper Lynx 404 // Kandy Kakes Perfect 10 // Papierschnitt 8 1/2 x 11 // Polly Gone 222 // Surly Temple 99 // Suzy Hotrod 55 // Sweet Sherry Pie 201

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