Thursday, June 25, 2009

ECE Bout Predictions Here!! or Damn its Gonna be a Busy Ass Weekend

Okay...predictions galore! The rankings are current Flat Track Stat rankings, NOT WFTDA. Cause thats how I roll people. You know that.

#7 Lucky Charms v #5 the Rats
I gotta go Charms in this one and its not just a matter of being a Charmfan okay? I have seen evidence that the Rats have stabilized and are certainly a force but when I check in with the 'ole gut instinct I just have to go Charms in this one. Having said that, I expect this to be an excellent, closely contested bout. I simply have been more impressed with Lovely Charm thus far than Rat C. Its just that simple. Flo and Joy are my kinda Rollergirls...mentally tuff and skillz to spare.

#31 F Dubb v #35 G Rag
Last year this time there is no way in hell that I woulda picked FW. NO f'n WAY. This year?? I would have SOOO picked F Dubb. Note that I said WOULD have. That was until Kitty retired and, more concerning, Pushycat got injured. No Pushy? No victory for FW. Pushy skating? An F Dubb victory. For real. She really is that critical to the success of the FW team. Soooo, yeah, G Rag gets a lucky break and wins this one. FW NEEDS Pushycat in the worst way. And really its too bad because the Dubb has really put together an impressive season.

#54 the Conn v #56 the Dominatrixes
The Conn did impress me last week and they are a lot better than some might realize but I just cant pick 'em yet over Dominion. Yes, the Dom have had a ruff stretch recently and there is no denying that. But I just am not ready to count them out. The Dom skaters start righting the ship THIS weekend. Ya read it here first. Put up the money Rollerheads.

#43 the Burns v #46 the District
DC have one of those teams that are better than rollerheads know. But I have been very impressed with the Burns over the course of the last year and they have steadily progressed to the point where I KNOW they will win this one. They have become a fairly well-rounded team and the talent is there to surprise some people this weekend. The city of the Burning River is gonna be raising some frothy brews to the victory of their Rollergirls. But those Capitol City girls will be gamers. Believe me. This should be a very entertaining and interesting game.

#26 the ATL v #67 Montreal
Nah...havent come up with a clever nick for those Montreal gals yet, but this bout will be all ATL. Bet the house on this bout because its a lock. Flat out. The ATL just have waaaay more bout experience and its gonna show. Now prove me wrong MON...

#27 the Minnies v #45 Brewskis
And here's where I EARN my $$$. I am throwing the rankings right out the proverbial window and going Brewskis in this bout. It surely seems like an upset pick and all but I am here to tell ya that the Beer City girls have turned the corner and the Minnies?? Ummmm...not so much. Look, I really do like MIN, I do. Believe me. But they just seem to have underperformed in recent memory and its gotta be time for those Brewskis to rise up and grab some glory for themselves. Ya hear that Grace? Hell yeah...Brewskis baby! This could be the year when they turn some heads. Of course, whadda I know?? I adore the Brewskis win OR lose.

#10 Mad Dolls v #13 Warriors
In this bout ya gotta go with those Milkmaids ya know? The KC squad has been rebounding from some critical roster losses this year and I hafta say that they have been much better than I figured they would be. But no. The Mad Doll Milkmaids shall rise and conquer. And I have heard that if they win then they will retire those "uni's" forever. Well...thats what I'VE heard. And my dark alley sources are always legit. Sorta kinda.

#18 Tricky Cincy v #2 Crushers
Come on...ya KNOW I'm not betting any of my oh so precious cashish on any upsets over Windy. No way. Unless yer team goes by the name of the Goths or the Cheesesteaks I am not even gonna go there. The Crushers will once again prove why they are the class of midwestern Derby. And they will once again prove why I have nicked them the CRUSHERS. Sorry Sadie. Its gonna be a very ruff bout for the Tricky squad.

#8 the Beans v #12 the Carols
This is without a doubt the tuffest pick of al Saturdays bouts. These 2 teams are just so damn evenly matched that I could easily make a case for either team. And thats considering the fact that I am in the Princess America Cult of True Believers. Join us...become one of the chosen. She truly has the awesome blessings of the Derby Goddess. But my infamous gut instinct has whispered in my ear and it has said in its quiet but convincing voice, "Go with the's their game". So...uhhhh...I'm listening to that quiet 'lil voice. Beans. Go with the Boston squad. Because Pussy Venom said so. And ya really dont wanna piss her off.

#15 Deeeeetroit v #7 Lovely Charm
I have to believe that Car City will give the Charms quite a battle but when all is said and done the Lovely Charm skaters have been a better team all year long. Why has Deeetroit slipped? I mean, they do have one of the best damn Jammers in the country. Yeah...Racer freakin McChaser totally KILLS. But so far I just havent seen the fight and desire that used to be their identity. Any D-Town fans wanna weigh in? Because in my mind they are a much better team than they have shown thus far this year. Still gotta love that Racer tho. But I gotta love those Charms a little more.

#5 the Rats v #4 the Cheesesteaks
I will say right here and now that I am a believer in Philly. They have speed, strength, depth, willpower and skillz in abundance! Liberty City is one of only 2 teams in all the land that I honestly believe could upset the Mighty Goths in a Derby bloodbath. I just love that Philly squad. And whats even cooler is that they just have so much personality. They are a very colorful squad of skaters that are a real blast to watch in action. Have I made it abundantly clear yet how much I like this Cheesesteak team?? Philly over the Rats. Sorry Seattle. I have ya goin 0-2 on Saturday. My how times have changed...

I'll have the Sunday picks for all of you Derby gambling addicts by Saturday night. I mean, I know how much is riding on these picks. It may mean the difference between hot dogs or filet mignon. Not that I personally eat any of that stuff. Nahhhh. For me its more a case of having a six of Natty Lite or a huge bottle of my beloved (some say hallucinagenic) Jaeger. And...uhhhh...I'm waaaay more in the mood for an ecstatic Jaeger buzz. Know what I mean? Natty Lite gives me a headache.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Roll Britannia!!! The 1st Euro Derby Tournament

Coming very soon is the Roll Britannia European Tournament and as I have become more fascinated with the UK Derby scene I want Rollerheads everywhere to be aware of this historic moment. The Tournament will be in London at the Earls Court !! Unreal. I really hope that there is an awesome turnout because all these teams deserve to be supported and cheered on. The Berlin and Stuttgart teams will be playing in the Tournament too and that is just more evidence of the growing Roller Derby phenomenon! I love it!! Check out the teams that will be in attendance:

Participating leagues are
Auld Reekie Rollergirls (Edinburgh, Scotland)
Berlin Bombshells (Berlin, Germany)
Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames (Birmingham, England)
Central City Rollergirls (Birmingham, England)
Glasgow Roller Girls (Glasgow, Scotland)
Leeds Roller Dolls (Leeds, England)
London Rockin Rollers (London, England)
London Rollergirls (London, England)
Rainy City Rollergirls (Manchester, England)
Royal Rebel Rollers (mixed team of Middlesborough Milk Rollers, Rebellion Rollergirls, and Windsor Rollergirls (Middlesborough, Kempston, & Windsor, England))
Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz (Stuttgart, Germany)
Team East Angrier (mixed team of Romsey Town Rollerbillies and Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls (Cambridge & Bedford, England))

Is that killer or what?! The London Rollergirls are busting their asses to build support and fans for the UK Derby scene and I wish them all the best. I will keep everyone abreast of the results from this tournament and I'm sure I'll have a few opinions too. Stay tuned...

In the meantime go here for more info and support UK Roller Derby!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Unreal Texas Triple-header or Have the Muthas Gone Mental??

Ya really do have to admire the guts that it takes to do what the Original Muthas are gonna be doing starting Friday. Takin on the Mighty Goths would be more than enuff but no...thats not enuff. The OM's just gotta get a few cold brews, some carbs, a little late-nightt dancing and some beauty sleep. Then its up and at 'em w/a double-header against the likes of Lovely Charm AND the Beans! Whoa.Thats whack. Must be nice having Derby superpowers like the Muthas. However, there is just no damn way that I'm gonna even THINK about the NYC Hellish Tank of Destruction goin down to TX. Sorry. Cant get my mind around it. Oh, it'll be a closer bout than LAST year for sure, but in the end I cant see the Goths losing. Oh, I know that they will sooooome day. Just not FRIday. Even without Beyonslay. Rumor has it that the Gothic Queens will be wearing OKVD armbands for the bout (I kid, I kid).

Which leaves the 2 excellent teams that TX will face on Saturday. First up...the Lucky Charms. And this is the really difficult pick for me. My heart shouts, "CHARMS"! But there's a lil whisper in the back of my head sayin', "Ya better bet Teeeexas". Ya know that the Muthas will be pissed and out for blood but I'm going with my heart in this one: Charms in a 1-4 point squeeker.

Which would leave 0-2 TX tired, worn, drained and REALLY pissed off. At which point they just go OFF on the Beans. The Derby Goddess just cant have her TX skaters goin 0-3 ya know. Nope. She's gonna charge them with sacred Derby energies heretofore unknown. They become all light and sparkly and there's a visible blueish glow that envelops all the Muthas. And they just go OFF. BOS plays it with heart and tuffness but the Goddess-chosen TX wins one in a knock down, rough n tumble kinda bout.

Of course, ya never know with the Originals. Thats the thing. They are fully capable of going 2-1 this weekend. Hell, it wouldnt shock anybody. Yes, I'm covering my ass because I have seen what TX is capable of. But are they still the blueprint?? The Gothic Queens of the Derby Universe may have something to say about that. My money's on them. They're making me rich.

-VicDolls r cool

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I Told Ya I Play Favorites!! My 5 (6?) Favorite Teams

There are scores of Derby teams that I admire and even more skaters that I'm crazy about but if I were to list my Top 5 Derby squads then it would look precisely like this:

1. Naptown Rollergirls (Race City/ the Nap)

Now come on. You KNEW I wasnt really gonna slot any other team at #1 in my heart now didja? You all know better than that. Lets see...I live in Indy, these are my beloved Homegirls, I personally know every player on the team and after all they are the reason that I fell for Flat Track Derby in the first place. So yeah, its Naptown way, way on top and everyone else down the list a ways. I AM a Race City guy and I love, no, I LOOOVE this team. They are a class organisation and run their bouts with total professionalism (considering that this is, after all, an Amateur sport). They have an awesome venue and have a lot of involvement in their community. If you EVER come to Indy you must see a Nap bout. you wont believe tha crazy ass crowd that they draw...its EPIC. Just ask any team that has played here. And then there's the skaters. The most down-to-earth, friendly and open skaters you could ever meet. Its so damn easy to love this team. And they have the Angel of Naptown too. Coolest Rollergirl ever. 8)

WFTDA Record: 6-5 FTS #38

2. and 3. Yep. I'm cheatin already. So what? I cant choose between these 2 teams...I adore them both and I make no appy loggy's okay? Just get over it man! I would sooner cut off an opposable thumb than decide who would be #2 between...

Brew City (the Brewskis/ Beer City) or the Arch Rivals (the Archies)

I first met this team when they played here in Indy and then later, havin fallen madly in love with them all, I caught them against Ft Wayne. Milwaukee has been blessed with one of the coolest, friendliest, most likeable squad of Rollergirls around. Where do I even start? Howzabout Rejected Seoul? Or Grace Killy? Or Romaniac? Or Coach Swingwreck? And this team has a great sense of humor and couldnt be more fun to Afterparty with. Damn I wish they were geographically closer.I would never miss a bout. I love you Beer City girls! I'm a fan for life.

WFTDA Record- 4-5 FTS # 39

I first saw these skaters at Fall Brawl '08 when they shocked everyone by winning the Tournament with class, grace and style. They've also been blessed with two of the coolest Coaches ever. I was immediately impressed with their heart and spirit. The Archies also have a Jammer that RULES named Chokehold Chanel. I asked her hand in marriage but dammit I was too late. Yeah...she's married. Chanel is one of the coolest Rollergirls I've ever met or seen in action and she totally has everything you could ever want in a Jammer. I would put her right in the Top 10 Jammers without hesitation, but of course I am not the most objective source in Derbydom ya know. We're talkin total love here okay? Yeah...sigh...CHANEL. Even the sound of her name...
Okay, I'm snapping out of it okay?! How couldja just let me go on like that? This is turnin into a love letter. But not only does ARRG have the lovely Chanel but they also have Artemischief, The Educator, Eli Wallop and Davey Blockit. Awesome team and great people. Like the Beer City gang, you couldnt have a nicer squad to party with when the bout is over regardless of who won or lost. I've already worn out my Archies tee. I really really wanna see that Archies v F Dubb bout August 1st. Please let it happen o great Derby Goddess...this may be Chanels last season ( NOOOOOOOO!!). And ya know whats really cool? They have never once given me shit for nicknaming them the Archies. Love you St Louis skaters!

WFTDA Record: 5-5 FTS #19

3. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls ( The Rocks/ the Killer Rocks)

Damn straight Rocky Mountain!! You KNEW that already Derby love to the Rocks. I soooo wish that Denver was...uhhh...way closer. Thats a hellride on the bike ya know? I started watching footage of this team nearly 2 years ago and was totally blown away by the way they play the game. It just doesnt matter what the hell the score is, when yer talking about playin it out 110% to the final Jam, you couldnt get any better than these Rollergirls. Period. Heart, fight and toughness thru and thru...thats the Killer Rocks. If I lived anywhere even remotely close to DEN I would have seen these girls in action live by now. I cant wait to see how they do at the Western Regionals this year. I have a feeling that they just may sneak up on a few teams and punch 'em right in the mouth! You have been warned. Plus. I mean, besides the incomparable Frida Beater this team also has Pinky 500, Winona Fighter and She Who Cannot Be Named...what the hell do ya want?! Believe me, this team KILLS. Totally likeable too so that helps.

WFTDA Record: 18-14 FTS #21

4. Charm City ( Lovely Charm/ the Lucky Charms)

Aaaahhh yes. Lovely Charm, a favorite for damn sure. And ya wanna know the truth?? I have never, and I mean EVER rooted for a team from Baltimore. I'm a Colts guy...INDIANAPOLIS Colts that is. I cant get into the Orioles or Goddess forbid, the Ravens. Yick. But Lovely Charm?? I adore them. Cant really explain it or make any sense of it but these girls won me over some time ago. Hell, they even made me want to set foot in Baltimore (wearin my Peyton jersey 'natch) just so I could see 'em playing live. The Lucky Charms are such a cool, interesting team and the more of their bout footage that I see the more impressed I am with their skill and tenacity. They are fully capable of bumping off any top ranked team at any time. They are flat-out DANGEROUS. I mean, after all, we're talkin about a team that has Flo freakin' Shizzle, Rosie the Rioter and Cheeta Torpedo. How cool is that?? Charm City...warriors. Total grade-A Warriors.

WFTDA Record: 18-8 (!) FTS #7

5. Providence (The Prov/ the Lil Team That Could)

I cant help it, I am so into this team. I ALWAYS pull for them. I dubbed them "The Lil Team That Could" because of their potential giant-killer status. The reasons why I so dig this team are a bit vague but for some reason, despite their spotty record, I just see a lot to admire with Prov. Even when the Prov is down and out in a bout they never give up. There's a whole lotta fight in this lil team from Rhode Island. The chances of me being able to see an actual live bout are a little remote but hey, ya never know. Maybe next year they could take on Tricky Cincy or Windy. That would be a realistic drving distance. Its within the realm of could happen. This is a team that has a miracle up their sleeve, I can just FEEL it. And if they get in, this Lil Team That Could may surprise a few folks at the Eastern Regionals too. I have such faith in this team, such outright BELIEF in these girls that nothing they do could shock me. Believe in the Prov. Thats all I'm sayin'. I just love an underdog and Providence is my favorite underdog. No doubt. Come on PROV!! Its time for yer miracle run...

WFTDA Record: 7-13 ( I know, I know) FTS #32

Honorable Mentions: Philly, Derby City, Angel City, Hammer City, Dixie, Circle City (non- WFTDA) and the Cherry Bombs (TXRD) You all kick ass!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Nap v Ohio Bout Recap or These Bittersweet Emotions

Bittersweet. Thats how it felt to me last Saturday nite. I have come to really dread the last NRG home bout of the season. Seeing Derby becomes a "road trip" situation after that and the juggling and expense that comes with said road trips. Hey, I'm always lookin for a feeble excuse to ride somewhere on 2 wheels so Derby provides more than an excuse. But its a hit n miss situation at best, know what I mean? So yeah...the last home game of the season. *Sigh*. What I really miss most when the game is over is the sense of community and comraderie that exists here in the Town of the Nap. And then theres the loss of veteran players that is an inevitability this year. Have we seen the last home game of Touretta? J Roller? Sweet C? ACE??! It has become abundantly clear that the Chosen One, Jane Ire is now retiring. Now that's enough to cause some pause right there right? No more Jane??! Can you imagine that? Like I said...*sigh*. And theres other changes going on that are still to come that cause me bittersweet emotions. I wanna say this tho...Jane, you are one of a kind and we are all SO gonna miss seeing you out on that rink scoring points and handling pressure with poise and class. And thats to say nothing of the instantly recognizable and unique skating style of the one and only Jane Ire! will be missed out on that track but I'm sure we'll catch you at the games sitting in the suicides. Or perhaps serving the league in some support role? I just KNOW how much Jane loves Derby and and theres no way that she wont be at bouts all over the place.

Now on to the Bout:

My day started with attending a motorcycle swap meet. And I got an awesome deal on some much-needed fresh tires for Elvira and had them on the rims in about 45 minutes. What a freakin difference new rubber makes! Anyway I headed over to the Fairgrounds and saw the NapFan gang out front partying and getting pumped up for some Race City Derby. I had a quick drink offa that "Busty Sanchez" flask (thanx Nay!) and headed in. I noticed straight away that there was no Ohio merch table set up and indeed it wasnt going to happen. So no Ohio XL tee for me...bummer. And then I went right over to the Ohio Rollergirl bench and began chatting with Foxy Force. You all know what my first question would be by now: "Where in the hell is Kitty??". Ummmm...she couldnt make it. See my previous post for more on that crushing blow. That sucked. After I asked, Foxy was like, "Are you HIM?". Wow, my reputation precedes me. *Blush* Yes, I am the resident Kitty Liquorbottom supporter here in Race City! Oh well.

I started off sitting in the suicides for the Gang Green v Belles bout but moved over to the side of the NRG bench so I could just stand up and spare myself the suicide seat yoga position for a full 2 bouts. Its cool to be by the bench because I catch some interesting minutia that I usually wouldnt get to see otherwise. Got some fairly nice pix from that location also. By the way the program this time out was a Both the Nap and Ohio rosters were a mystery. Jane Ire listed for the Sirens? Oooookay.

The Belles bout was close early on but then Gang Greens offense took over and our Blockers seemed a bit disjointed. GG's experience started paying off and with Jayden Blaze able to score very consistently it was out of hand into the 2nd half. GG's Blockers were tough but Blue and Katya were scoring well. Katya is one helluva Rollergirl if you dont already know. Pure fire and passion from her all season long. The continuing development of Racer at Jammer was apparent also. I was surprised to see a skater named Devil Woman on the Belles roster. Uhhh...WHO?I have to say that I've not really heard of her. On the Ohio side of things Jayden Blaze was great. With no Kitty in town Jayden quickly became my OH fave. Weird thing was when I caught her later and told her how good I thought she did she said that she wasnt really crazy about Jamming. What?! Believe me are a JAMMER. For real! I was disappointed to see that she spent no time Jamming at all in the 2nd game. The officiating seemed sketchy at times with too many elbows going uncalled. Usually its the other way around. Weird. Blue took a really tuff blow to the face at one point and still no call! One Ref in particular got the ire of the NapFans stoked for inconsistant calls. The Belles have been so damn impressive all season that the way that the Gang Green skaters took over the game was a bit of a shock. Which reminds me...where was Psyche?? JenX got called up to the Sirens when Sin went down so we expected that loss on the Belles roster. But I'm taking nothing away from the GG's. They played very well and won convincingly.

Then the Sirens v Ohio All Stars started and it was close the whole way. Barracuda did a rock solid job at Jammer for OH. Pippi and Dirty Grrl also contributed to Ohio's offense. NRG Jammers Ace and Jane put points on the board for Race City all game long. Fin and Slammy had some really good moments too in what was one helluva bout. But then there was the 13 point Jam that OH put together. And the odd refereeing that was going on did have a disconcerting effect on the psyche of the Nap skaters. I sure wish that the Naptown skaters would have had at least another week to heal up from the F Dubb bloodbath and prepare for OH. The illness of Ace and Jane leading up to the bout had surprisingly little obvious effect on their performances. As a matter of fact before the Belles bout started I ran into the Amazin Blazin Ace and she looked stunning! And of course the season had to go out on a Shadi Jam. She has become THE fan favorite right after the Amazin Ace. The chant rose from the crowd..."Shadi! Shadi! Shadi!". In the end it was anyones game and even tho NRG lost 66-62 for some reason it just didnt FEEL like a loss. I was once again talking with a very hoarse voice at the end of the bout.

I have to bring this up...where the hell was the big sell-out crowd that we had all become so accustomed too?? What reason could there be that the crowd was so comparatively small? Fans on vacation? Last year the crowd was consistently impressive to the last bout. Is the Double-Header too much for the casual fan? Hey, in my eyes its 2 for the price of 1. But you know me...I could watch a bout every night and STILL would want to see more. I'm...uhhhh...not a "casual" fan. I dont get it. Last bout against FW the crowd was a bit smaller than usual but this time it was a marked drop off in attendance. If the truth be told there are many, many leagues out there that would love to draw the crowd NRG did on an "off" night. But hey...we're used to 3-4000 crazy fans so it is weird to see half of that in attendance. Anyone have the official count? Just curious. The fans that DID show up are of the die-hard variety and were more than vocal enuff. Hey, didja see Joan of Dark catch a skate on the everpresent "God is a Naptown Fan" sign? Yes, it gaves its life in Derby battle and was torn by none other than the J.o.D.! Wow. Speaking of J.o.D., she was awesome this bout! Totally on fire and incredibly fierce. One of her best games this season. Naptown loves its Angel! And it sure was nice to finally see SJ in attendance again. She has only been able to catch one other Nap Home bout this season because of her paycheck gig. Really nice to see ya Strawberry. Also caught Megan, Fly and Poker Face from the Soc's out in the crowd.

Like the bout, the Afterparty wasnt quite as well attended as usual but it was definately still rockin'. The Ohio Rollergirls score high on my "likeability" gauge and they were a blast to hang out with. I got the chance to get a pic with Jayden so hey I was happy! I talked to Ohio announcer Caeser, who did a great job during the bout, and was surprised to hear whats been going on with Ohio this year. They are in something of a "restructuring" phase and are trying to save money for a strong push next season. As a result they are playing in a tiny venue that holds 300 people. Its mostly a friends and family scenario I guess. They WERE drawing crowds in the 1000-1500 range last year but I guess at this point in time they couldnt afford the larger venue. I really do wish OH all the best because they are an original member of WFTDA and are genuinly cool people. I got the "Why dont WE have a nickname" question and all I can really say is that it hasnt come to me yet. Its something of a slow-burner that Ohio nick. Along with F Dubb and Tricky Cincy, OH should be on the schedule at least every other year because of close proximity. And oh yeah Caeser...thanx for the shout out during the bout! It was cool to finally meet ya.

Ohio will be playing Cincy next Saturday and I have considered cruising to the Queen City to check it out but 2 things stand in my way: I may have to put in a full day at work and also there is a CC Socialites bout against Stateline going on at Hamilton Co Fairgrounds. We shall see. I may not get a better chance to catch Kitty Liquorbottom in action this year and I have a marketing contract for her to sign so...

Its gonna seem like forever until next seasons Home opener arrives. And theres gonna be a changing of the guard and that much is guaranteed. However, from what I have seen from the Belles this year and the young talent currently on the Sirens roster the future is in good hands. I mean, just LOOK at all that Jammer talent on the Belles squad. Yep. The future of NRG is in good hands and NapFans have much to look forward too. Still, a bittersweet feeling lingers. Because a changing of the guard means the loss of skaters that we've all come to know and admire. And that does hurt a little.

Kitties Kitties Everywhere and Not a One to Meet

Yes...its true. Kitty Liquorbottom didnt show last nite. Her Kitty Queen Crown remains unclaimed here in Naptown. We are saddened. Its okay Kitty...I mean, you ripped my soul apart and I've lost all meaning in my life but its OKAY. But I thought we had an understanding...something of a vibe between us. Really, just think about it Kitty, whats more important? Your job? Or hanging out with ME?? I mean, jobs come and go but the love and admiration I have for you is irreplaceable. So yeah...just pitch my heart right into the litterbox. I'm still willing to sell all manner of cheesy products bearing yer name and likeness tho. I gotta make a living ya know.

KL rules! 8)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Let the Litterbox Come to Indy!!

Because I'm a fan of the incomparable Kitty Liquorbottom too!! Repeat after me Kitty..."I must go to Indy...I must go to Indy...I MUST GO TO INDY". Let us all share in the special comraderie that Kitty Liquorbottom fans share worldwide! Litterbox dwellers rise up for Kitty!! We shall unleash upon the Derby world a LEGION of Liquorbottom lovers! If ya dont make it out to Race City for this bout KL you know that we will all be saddened...dont sadden us Kitty...SHOW. Because we all love the new Kitty Queen! Let her be crowned as Kitty Queen! The former Kitty Queen...Kitty Killjoy has retired and left her glorious throne empty. Its time to assume yer mantle Kitty INDY. There yer crown awaits...

KL rules 8).

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Naptown v Ohio Bout Preview!

Ohio will be rollin into Indy shortly and while the Naptown Faithful are still swooning over that F Dubb victory its best not to dwell on it at this point. I know, I WAS awesome. WAS being the key word at this juncture. This is my concern, that Race City will still be basking in the glow of what was the biggest win of the season and let down their guard. Ya know...relax and perhaps not be 100% focused on a very hungry Ohio team that did win a close one against Sioux Falls. I saw the Sioux play last year and they were pretty damn good. And they also beat the Gems...twice. Which does beg the question: Why play the Gems twice already in '09?? Just asking.

The OH squad have had a tuff time in their WFTDA history with only 2 victories to their credit since joining WFTDA as an original member in '06.Those couple of wins came against the Steelies and the Burns. The Steel skaters did avenge their earlier loss to OH by beating them recently. Ohio also, like NRG, lost to NStar this year. Currently the Ohio All Stars are ranked #42 by FTS. The Nap skaters are ranked #36. Ohio have been very competitive in some very good bouts. What I'm saying is that I hope no one discounts this team because they will sneak up and sting ya. With only 2 weeks to recover from the amazing bout against rival FW its gonna require a refocus and some quick healing to be ready for the OH when they arrive.

Frankly, with the recent winning results of Race City fresh in everyones mind I would be surprised if Nap lost. I guess ya just gotta look at that Jammer talent on NRG. And the cohesion of the Naptown Blockers who are playing as good as they have all season. I can tell ya this...if Race City brings it like they did against F Dubb than all will be well for Indy's team and fans.

But now for the REAL concern...will Kitty Liquorbottom show?? I NEED my picture taken with her. I NEED to tell her how she has one of my favorite names in all of Derby. I mean, does it get any better than that? Come on! Please?? For me?? I wanna be yer manager. I can see Kitty Liquorbottom Tees, hats, hoodies, lunchboxes, ltd edition bottles of Kitty Liquorbottom Cognac, a full line of fragrances, ya know...the Kiss-style SELL OUT. Hell yes. I will only take a nominal fee of course, nothing too Jerry Maguire I assure you. Now ya GOTTA show. Come on.

The likely Ohio roster:

Alli Catraz
drrty grrl
Wendra Woman
Foxy Force
Phoenix Bunz
Pippi Ripyourstockings
Jaden Blayz
Royal Pain
Kill Basa
and of course the incomparable KITTY LIQUORBOTTOM!

Oh...and J.o.D.
surprise!! 8)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Mighty Gothic Queens of Complete Destruction v the Carols....hmmmmm

The Carols have one rock solid squad. I mean, theres not really one glaring weakness on that team. Now, if ya wanna nitpick then yeah...there might be a couple of tiny things that could be tweaked but overall the Carols are SOLID. But ya wanna know what solid is? The Goths. The freakin' ridiculous wall of complete destruction that IS the Mighty Goths of NYC. Bet ya dont remember the last time they lost do ya?? Come on, search yer memory. Still cant remember can ya?? Thats because the last time they lost was waaay back in September of 2007! Yep. They went down to KC at the Texas Shootout by 15 points. Now mind you, that was the epic squad that KC had w/Jammers Xcelerator and Snot Rocket. Uhhhh...Carols? Its been a while since the skaters of Gotham have lost a bout. And it isnt going to be this weekend either. If the Carols lose its nothin to be that freaked out over tho. Really its a matter of point differential. If Carolina lost by 9 points it would really matter. It would look good. In '09 tho the Carols have 2 bouts in the books and 2 losses. -27 against Lovely Charm and -39 against Liberty City. But in my mind the only 2 teams capable right now of beating the NYC Machine is Philly and Windy. So losin to the Cheesesteaks isnt anything to hang yer head over. The last win for Carolina was over the ATL last year. So yeah...hang on Carolina. The Tank of Hellish Destruction is about to roll on thru. Girl up and press on Carols. Its gonna be a ruff ride.

Thats Bonnie Thunders of the Mighty Hellish Goths in the Pic btw

Monday, June 1, 2009

Naptown v F Dubb Bout Recap or Naptowns Night of Glory

Can I just say something right from the outset?? This was a "must win" for the skaters of Race City and man did they ever get it done. After a ruff start the NRG have found their groove and are playing to their real potential now. I have to say that Saturdays bout was one of the most exciting and tooth n nail bouts that I have ever witnessed. And lets give credit to the FW squad...they played their asses off. They fought with spirit and toughness all night. Pushycat and RIPtide were great and Jammed like hellions. This bout was all that we could have hoped for and I'm just glad that the Nap girls came out on top...twice. My evening went something like this:

*I decided to ride my bike, Elvira, out to the bout because the forecast stated that the threat of rain would be SOUTH of Indy. Mmmm hmmm. NOT. As I pulled into the Fairgrounds it began sprinkling and the "parking folks" said that there was NO parking to be had at the Toyota Pavilion so I would have to park my precious bike elsewhere. Begrudgingly I did, then as I walked towards the Pavilion I noticed Graduation attendees pulling out and there was parking to be had. I got my pass (thanks JL and WH!) and said "Screw this...I'm fetchin my ride!!". After gettin my bike I found an open spot right out front!! Sheeeeesh. When I went inside I made a bee-line to the merch table and nabbed one o' those cool new Naptown tees and got some nachos. The thing about nachos is that once the cheese gets to room temperature its like I pitched 1/3rd into the trash. Oh well. Then the gang started to arrive, yeah, the Naptown FAMILY. Damn I luv you folks! I saw my opportunity to chat up Minx and Rosemary's Baby of F Dubb and found out something disheartening...there will be NO FALL BRAWL this year!! Aaaaargh! There wil be a Tournament in the spring called...uhhh... naturally..."The Spring Thing". Ya wanna know a few of the teams that will be in attendance doncha?? Course ya do. Well howzabout WINDY f'n City?? And Deeeetroit?! And (I'm swooning here) the Archies?? Hopefully Beer City will also be in the mix too. Naptowns a given, right?? Should be EPIC. Early $$$ is on the Crushers!! (WCR). We talked about the lovely Kitty Killjoy too. Seems that her interest in Derby may have been waning and she lives in the Carolinas now.

*Then it was time for the Belles to warm up. Watching Dora skate around the track with that Dora backpack was hilarious. Dora? You are too cool Rollergirl! When it came time for the Belles to bout the SWAT skaters they fired on all cylinders and it was just a matter of time until they took off and never looked back. Told ya Dora! One of the things I noticed was that Racer seemed faster than before. And howzabout that Blue?! Damn that girl ROCKS! You would never even know that she was coming off an injury. Love her. Really, the whole team was so in synch and totally impressive all night that I was just speechless. The Belles would absolutely beat some WFTDA A-teams out there and thats for realz! You skaters are an awesome collection of young talent and speed. Too much. The standout player of the night for me was Ima Hurtchu tho. I turned to Lux several times and said "Did you see that hit??! Who the hell IS this Rollergirl??!". Ima was killin it!! Bright future for her indeed...a natural Blocker. And Sandy! Hurtin skaters the whole bout!

And then...the Main Event, a heavyweight bout between two evenly matched, determined squads. The air was just crackling with electricity. The weird thing was that there were some empty seats in the venue! Not a sell out?? Ya gotta be f'n kiddin me. What do people want? Damn. Anyway, the bout was all we coulda hoped for. Back and forth it went. What adjectives can I use that would do this bout justice? I mean really? And how about that Pushycat? That Rollergirl is a bonafide BADASS. You all KNOW that you would love to have a Jammer like her on yer team. She is INTENSE. Fiery. Passionate. Focused. And RIPtide is so good. But ya know what?? We have ACE. The Amazin Blazin ACE. A pure Jammer talent so extraordinary it makes my Derby-lovin heart pound! I freakin LOVE that Rollergirl. And the continuing evolution of our Power Jammer Fin Addict. She just gets better. The absence of our Sin Lizzy was felt but still the Nap Blockers were in a rythem that just stroked all night long. Is this turning into a lovefest yet? Well, yeah, it should. This is what I live for...pure, passionate Roller Derby action.

*And then Pushy went down hard right in front of me. She was in agony and I felt my spirit sink for a moment. Look...I know that she's the "enemy" but my heart sank in empathy for her. Pushycat KILLS and I totally respect that. She is what Derby is all about so dont hate on me Napfans. When I saw her fightin pain and writhing on the floor I noticed the FW Coach arguing with the Refs about??? A trip?? Touretta not falling small?? (kinda tuff to fall "small" for her ya know??). That pissed me off and I said something that I wont repeat here. Just, like, dude yer BEST player, yer STAR is on the floor hurt...get over there and attend to her!!! Damn. When Pushy struggled to her feet I shouted "You kick ass Pushy!!". And I meant it too. I heard thru the grapevine that fans were laughing when she went down or were perhaps cheering. Some fans may have cheered INTIALLY when she went down because they didnt know that she was hurt but I am here to tell you that Pushy was on the floor right in front of me and so I think I know what the hell I'm talkin about when I say that no one was all giddy that she was hurt. I can tell ya this too...if anyone ever, and I mean EVER laughs or cheers because an opposing Rollergirl is hurt I am gonna be the most intense asshole that they've ever seen. I wont stand for that one minute and they would know real quick-like that its time to just shut up. Or else. More on Pushycat later.

*As the bout unfolded it became obvious that Race City was patient enuff to keep chippin away until they took the lead and then due to several circumstances FW was not able to quite come back. Certainly the loss of their star Pushy had something to do with it but I didnt see any quit in that squad. None. And then came the moment that will live on in my memory forever. Fan favorite Shadi Layne Jamming for the first time in the bout. As we began to chant "Shadi...Shadi...Shadi!!!" she glanced over and gave a subtle horns salute. It was mythic and the crowd ate it up! Talk about energizing an already energetic was the moment of the evening for me. I was literally losing my voice from shouting, chanting and screaming so intensely all nite. I need to say that I have never been so animated and freaked out at a bout ever. It was borderline embarrasing. Really. I was INTO this bout like no bout I have ever attended. The only one that even comes close also involved F Dubb. It was the Beer City v FW bout last summer and let me tell ya, that one was classic at the end and came down to the last Jam. The memory of Rejected Seoul scoring the go ahead points and leaping into my arms triumphantly was one that will live forever. Yeah...Brew City love! Ha!

*At the end of the bout the smiles and sense of accomplishment was palpable and it was one of sheer joy. Hugs everywhere. I asked the FW Coach how Pushy was doing and he said something about possible torn tendons. Ouch. Then the radar map was flashed on the screen and it was obvious that a very bad storm was on its way very soon. Talk of 70mph gusts and hail filled my mind with dread as thought about my damn bike. The bike that I've spent thousands and thousands of $$$ on. Hail?? Oh hell no. I would sooner throw my body over that bike than to let f'n hail dent the tank and fenders. I considered pulling it into the building or maybe running it real quick under one of those carport structures at the Fairgrounds. But...only rain fell. And so I got wet goin to the Afterparty. Oh well, at least I got a primo spot right in front of Birdy's! And then MU waved me through and I STILL owe her a beer. I'll getcha at that Ohio bout MU. And damn am I glad that she's still hangin with us, she is such a firecracker.

Upon entering the bar I walked over to grab a beer at the bar and I turned my head and there was Pushycat!! ??? I said "Uhhh Pushy...shouldnt you go to the ER? What are you doing here?". I'm paraphrasing here but she said that they would only schedule an MRI and there probably wasnt much that they could do for her. She said that It would be cheaper to go to the Doc when she got back to Ft Wayne. Maybe her health insurance was one of those "network plans"? At any rate I bought her a beer and said "Here...have a beer cause you are one kick ass Rollergirl" Made her smile 8). I did my usual mingling but honestly I was so caught up in Naptowns celebration that I didnt really get around to chattin as much as I usually would with the visiting team. And that sux because I really did have some questions for the F Dubb skaters. I did notice that I never did see Bang Bang at the Afterparty. Did I miss her? Or did she head right for home? Hmmmm. I also had a conversation with Coaches Rick and Fiesty and it was a VERY interesting conversation to say the least. And noooo...I cant speak of it. I will only say that it was really "interesting". Also had the chance to talk to Coach Di and that was very cool too. She has such a firm grasp of Derby tactics and techniques! At any rate, as I stepped outside to talk with Cat about her cycle problems I noticed lightning flashes in the sky and I thought that it would be best to start the long ride back home before I got soaked again. As I pulled away on Elvira I shouted "Naaaaaptooooowwwn!!" to some fans as they left the bar and turned out onto Keystone Avenue. I was all warm inside and my brain was flooded with a swirl of incredible memories of Naptowns Night of Glory. I will never forget this bout. Years will go by and I will never forget this bout.