European Champions...the London Rollergirls!!! I <3 U LRG!

It became painfully obvious , as we all suspected, that the London Rollergirls were the class of European Roller Derby witnessing their performance during the Roll Britannia Tournament. After dismantling Team East Angrier by a score differential of +190 the London skaters nailed Stuttgart by a + 131 advantage. And then in the semi-finals the Mighty LRG completely dominated Glasgow 225-11. For those keeping differential score thats a +214 in favor of London Brawling.Uh huh. Complete and confident, the London team rolled thru the competition like a quad-fitted steamroller and never gave their opponents a chance to catch their breath.

And the Championship against Birmingham was never in doubt either as the LRG ran away with the Euro-Crown by 333 points, holding the Birmingham offense to a scant 13 points. Now THATS defense. Err..and offense too. And depth...and teamwork...and coaching...and discipline. What an incredible performance the London Girls put on for the Derby World to see. There can be no doubt that those Londoners are the absolute class of Euro-Derby and I have a feeling that they wil dominate for some time to come. They are, after all, the UK Muthas. Yeahhhh...the UK Muthas. That has a nice ring to it doncha think?

I would personally rank them in the top 30 worldwide. I really think so. I know, I know, they havent played any US teams yet so how can I say that?? Lets just chalk it up to a gut instinct thing okay?? I cant sit here and present statistical evidence of their place in the rankings up against American competition but I CAN give witness to what I saw in the Roll Britannia Tournament and what I saw was utter dominance. What I saw was a team that I am totally convinced could take on a whole lotta US teams and give 'em a serious fight. Yeahhhh...I see them somewhere around 27th overall in the world. You dont think that the LRG would give many WFTDA teams fits?? I would beg to differ. I know what this team is capable of and they will only get better as the competition around them improves. I could see London giving teams like the ATL or the Doms a serious fight. And thats no diss of the ATL or the Doms at all...just a major compliment to the UK Muthas.

Of course I know this all remains to be seen and its a matter of conjecture and debate. I have to say that I could see an East Coast road trip for the Londoners next year. Unfortunately you know what that means...the Carols, the Beans, the Lucky Charms, the Cheesesteaks or *gasp* the Goths (nooooo!!!). And I fear that with such top-notch competition the LRG skaters could get blown out and lose some confidence and the impression of Euro-Derby could get murkier instead of clearer. I would much rather see the Brawlers taking on teams more at their level of competitiveness. Ya know...the Burns, the District, the ATL, Ohio...that kinda team. A team that would offer up a real battle,but one that would be a competitive bout. I dont really wanna see LRG get smoked by the Beans or the Belles ya know?

Overall I would say that the Brawlers have impressed everyone thats been paying attention and they are amazing. I'm sure that the quality of UK Derby will only improve as experience starts paying off and the crowds start getting bigger. Perhaps the Roll Britannia Tournament will in fact be the annual equivalent of the European Championship.

London Brawling from the underworld!
Run for cover all you boys and girls!

09 Kamikaze Kitten (Captain)
13 Correctional Felicity (vice captain)
ICU2 Ena Flash
04 Fox Sake
08 Slice Andice
11 Viva KniEvil
17 Sky Rockit
19 Lola Vulkano
B52 Axis of Evon
73 Bette Noir
75 Metallikat
DFF#77 Hula Gunn
85 Poison Arrow
U96 Nuke-Leah
138 El Visious
.357 Raw Heidi
410 Missyle Elliott
900cc Ninjette
931 The Bexorcist
1984 Grievous Bodily Charm


*** o4 Fox Sake fans of the world unite!!! <3

Too soon to predict but I will anyway...the Goths defend their crown

Yeah...the Original Muthas looked intense for the first 45 minutes of their already legendary EPIC clash against the WFTDA Champs the Mighty Gothic Wall of Complete and Utter Dominance. The Gothic Queens of the Universe eventually wore down and frustrated the Muthas, forcing them to the Sin Bin in the most critical moments of the game and then the inevitable began. The Queens pulled away...and never looked back. They are the Queens of the Derby-verse and no one...and I mean NO ONE is gonna steal their crown this year. They are STILL the unmoveable object in a Universe they currently own.

Name one Jammer tandem beter than Suzy and Bonnie...I know you can't. They are both the epitomy of what a Jammer is supposed to be. They are the prototypes that can be held up as the role model for other aspiring ass kickers, thats for sure. The duo that comes to mind for me by way of comparison is, of course, KC's Snot Rocket and Xcelerator. Now THAT was a damn Jammer one-two punch that would leave you gasping and pissed. Because of their dominance and clockwork point scoring the Warriors won a Championship. Not that their supporting cast were slackers. That was an excellent team. But since Snot and X?? No one.

The only team at this point that could truly threaten the Goths are those Belles of Cheesesteak City. And they've got some serious Jammer talent as we saw last weekend against Windy. Hell...they've got serious talent all over their squad. Teflon Donna tore it up when the Phils needed her most and she played like a Champion, as did the whole team. Still...they went to the closing seconds of the bout with the Crushers and really, I have to say to myself, "If they had big big trouble against Chi-town than how will they look up against the Tank of Hellish Gothic Destruction??". Its just not very likely that ANYONE has an answer for these Ruling Goths. No one. And thats why I will predict here and now that the Gothic Queens will defend their Championship this year. Because, ya know, anything can happen...but I'm a bettin' man ya understand. And I make $$$ all day long on the Goths. Get the f*ck outta their way. They are the Gothic Derby Machine.

And here are your WFTDA Champions:

Ana Bollocks 00 // Barbara Ambush 1600 // Bonnie Thunders 340 // Brigitte Barhot Swingin' 60s // Donna Matrix 2 // Fisti Cuffs 241 // Ginger Snap 80 // Hyper Lynx 404 // Kandy Kakes Perfect 10 // Papierschnitt 8 1/2 x 11 // Polly Gone 222 // Surly Temple 99 // Suzy Hotrod 55 // Sweet Sherry Pie 201

Mozilla Firefox 3.5 Really Pissed Me Off...

In hindsight perhaps not the greatest move, I stupidly "upgraded" to Mozilla Firefox 3.5...and quickly regretted it. After installing the "upgrade" I noticed my toolbar was jacked up. And then I realized that I had no right click function whatsoever. Nada...nothing. Grrrrrr....

I went to my desktop and of course everything was fine. Then I begrudgingly got on Internet Explorer, which I despise, and my right click function was just fine there too. Too bad I dont remember 16 passwords so that I can actually use IE. *sigh* I NEVER use IE for anything ever. It just moves too damn slowly...among other irritating personality traits. I need SPEED dammit!!! Now! Now! Now!!

And then after fixing the toolbar and re-installing 3.5 2x (it locked up the first time) I did manage to get my right click back. Then I was REALLY pissed when I found that Realplayer SP and Firefox 3.5 are mortal enemies and just plain HATE each other. So yeah...no damn video downloading on Youtube whatsoever. Now THAT pissed me off. I searched everywhere for a solution until I found that if you re-install Realplayer SP that they will cooperate w/each other. This is a very very recent development however. Those that were first to "upgrade" to 3.5 were just left scrambling. Idiots. Howzabout taking a little more time Mozilla and get your upgrade actually working before unleashing it. An annoying couple of hours were spent screwing w/this nonsense last night and this morning. At one point I gave up on 3.5 entirely and decided to re-install 3.1

Yeah...easier said than done. At 2AM, in a semi-conscious state while still sipping Hypnotiq, I blundered into Mozilla's archives and was able to figure out how to install it from there. And all the way at the tail end of the installation...ya know, when you click "finish"?...everything just locked up. G*d d*mn s*nuva b*tchin #@*!!!


Sorry...I needed to vent. What does this actually have to do with the Greatest Womens Sport in the world?? Uhhhh...well...*shrugs* Anger? Attitude? A "Dont mess with me or I'll put a quad right into yer kneecaps" kinda spunk??

Mozilla Firefox 3.5****Dont waste my time

An Update from Tequila Mockingbird

Hey Folks,
I am still kicking in Oklahoma City. The Oklahoma City derby girls have been a great help both with fundraisers and donating their time. A large part of my life has been fighting with Medicaid and doing paperwork, since it turns out that Chicago's Medicaid program is much better than here; so, in a year, we plan to return to Chicago and may be just spending the worst of the winters in Oklahoma. I'm also hoping to return to work next year as a lawyer at least part time. Dan and I have been able see several of the derby games here, which were fantastic. I spend a lot of time working out, sitting on the porch reading, and playing with our pets.
I have walking therapy once or twice a week on the Lokamat, a robotic walking machine that exists in only a handful of cities across the country. Fortunately, two of those are in Chicago and Oklahoma City. I have been involved with the Oklahoma University Medical Center, Jim Thorpe Rehabilitation, and various Medicaid home therapies. I am working on saving up for a recumbent cross training machine, and a stander, so I can do more therapy on my own; I would also eventually like to spend more time doing aqua-therapy. The rest of my workout is at home for now. Now that I am approaching the second anniversary of my injury, my strength and energy level have increased dramatically. My lungs in particular have regained some of their former strength. I can walk three hundred feet on a platform walker with very little assistance and over half an hour on the treadmill with a harness. With the help of Craig "Moose Ondaluce" Alleman, here in OKC, I am putting together a video of some of my progress. Thank all of you for your support. I will keep you updated as best I can.
Special thanks to The Oklahoma Victory Dolls, Rollercon, all contributors, and Dakota Prosch.

Donations:
www.HelpTequila. com
My Paypal account is tahirahjohnson@ hotmail.com

Send checks made out to Tahirah Johnson:
3309 NW 24th St.
Oklahoma City, OK 73107

or directly to my bank:
North Community Bank c/o Tahirah Johnson
Attn: Amber Barnhill
1555 N. Damen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60622

Love you Tequila!!! <3 <3 <3

And a big time shout out to OKC Rollergirls...thank you for being awesome!

__._,_.__

Roll Britannia Official results or 04 Fox Sake I love UK Derby!

Roll Britannia Day Two

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 13
London London Brawling 346

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 70
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 120

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 11
London London Brawling 225

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 123
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 109

Roll Britannia Day One

Roll Britannia

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 137
Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 46

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 46
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 137

Central City Central City Rollergirls 72
Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 81

Leeds Leeds Roller Dolls 93
Berlin Berlin Bombshells 103

Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 11
London London Brawling 202

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 29
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 88

Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 45
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 124

Berlin Berlin Bombshells 89
Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 112

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 10
London London Brawling 141

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 59
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 48

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 94
Central City Central City Rollergirls 74

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 101
Leeds Roller Dolls 59

It looks like Roll Britannia #1 was a real success and hopefully this will be an annual event that Derby fans worldwide can look forward to. I expect Derby to continue to catch fire in Germany and wouldnt be the least bit surprised to see a few more German teams in the mix the next couple of years. And maybe a Scandinavian team? Irish? European Roller Derby will continue to grow I'm sure and some day you know that there will be a World Championship. Perhaps it could be held every 4 years like the World Cup or the Olympics. That would be too cool!! Love to the 2009 Roll Britannia Champions LONDON Rollergirls!! Love you UK Derby girls and a special shout out to 04 Fox Sake...<3>

ECE Bout Predictions Here!! or Damn its Gonna be a Busy Ass Weekend

Okay...predictions galore! The rankings are current Flat Track Stat rankings, NOT WFTDA. Cause thats how I roll people. You know that.

#7 Lucky Charms v #5 the Rats
I gotta go Charms in this one and its not just a matter of being a Charmfan okay? I have seen evidence that the Rats have stabilized and are certainly a force but when I check in with the 'ole gut instinct I just have to go Charms in this one. Having said that, I expect this to be an excellent, closely contested bout. I simply have been more impressed with Lovely Charm thus far than Rat C. Its just that simple. Flo and Joy are my kinda Rollergirls...mentally tuff and skillz to spare.

#31 F Dubb v #35 G Rag
Last year this time there is no way in hell that I woulda picked FW. NO f'n WAY. This year?? I would have SOOO picked F Dubb. Note that I said WOULD have. That was until Kitty retired and, more concerning, Pushycat got injured. No Pushy? No victory for FW. Pushy skating? An F Dubb victory. For real. She really is that critical to the success of the FW team. Soooo, yeah, G Rag gets a lucky break and wins this one. FW NEEDS Pushycat in the worst way. And really its too bad because the Dubb has really put together an impressive season.

#54 the Conn v #56 the Dominatrixes
The Conn did impress me last week and they are a lot better than some might realize but I just cant pick 'em yet over Dominion. Yes, the Dom have had a ruff stretch recently and there is no denying that. But I just am not ready to count them out. The Dom skaters start righting the ship THIS weekend. Ya read it here first. Put up the money Rollerheads.

#43 the Burns v #46 the District
DC have one of those teams that are better than rollerheads know. But I have been very impressed with the Burns over the course of the last year and they have steadily progressed to the point where I KNOW they will win this one. They have become a fairly well-rounded team and the talent is there to surprise some people this weekend. The city of the Burning River is gonna be raising some frothy brews to the victory of their Rollergirls. But those Capitol City girls will be gamers. Believe me. This should be a very entertaining and interesting game.

#26 the ATL v #67 Montreal
Nah...havent come up with a clever nick for those Montreal gals yet, but this bout will be all ATL. Bet the house on this bout because its a lock. Flat out. The ATL just have waaaay more bout experience and its gonna show. Now prove me wrong MON...

#27 the Minnies v #45 Brewskis
And here's where I EARN my $$$. I am throwing the rankings right out the proverbial window and going Brewskis in this bout. It surely seems like an upset pick and all but I am here to tell ya that the Beer City girls have turned the corner and the Minnies?? Ummmm...not so much. Look, I really do like MIN, I do. Believe me. But they just seem to have underperformed in recent memory and its gotta be time for those Brewskis to rise up and grab some glory for themselves. Ya hear that Grace? Hell yeah...Brewskis baby! This could be the year when they turn some heads. Of course, whadda I know?? I adore the Brewskis win OR lose.

#10 Mad Dolls v #13 Warriors
In this bout ya gotta go with those Milkmaids ya know? The KC squad has been rebounding from some critical roster losses this year and I hafta say that they have been much better than I figured they would be. But no. The Mad Doll Milkmaids shall rise and conquer. And I have heard that if they win then they will retire those "uni's" forever. Well...thats what I'VE heard. And my dark alley sources are always legit. Sorta kinda.

#18 Tricky Cincy v #2 Crushers
Come on...ya KNOW I'm not betting any of my oh so precious cashish on any upsets over Windy. No way. Unless yer team goes by the name of the Goths or the Cheesesteaks I am not even gonna go there. The Crushers will once again prove why they are the class of midwestern Derby. And they will once again prove why I have nicked them the CRUSHERS. Sorry Sadie. Its gonna be a very ruff bout for the Tricky squad.

#8 the Beans v #12 the Carols
This is without a doubt the tuffest pick of al Saturdays bouts. These 2 teams are just so damn evenly matched that I could easily make a case for either team. And thats considering the fact that I am in the Princess America Cult of True Believers. Join us...become one of the chosen. She truly has the awesome blessings of the Derby Goddess. But my infamous gut instinct has whispered in my ear and it has said in its quiet but convincing voice, "Go with the Beans...it's their game". So...uhhhh...I'm listening to that quiet 'lil voice. Beans. Go with the Boston squad. Because Pussy Venom said so. And ya really dont wanna piss her off.

#15 Deeeeetroit v #7 Lovely Charm
I have to believe that Car City will give the Charms quite a battle but when all is said and done the Lovely Charm skaters have been a better team all year long. Why has Deeetroit slipped? I mean, they do have one of the best damn Jammers in the country. Yeah...Racer freakin McChaser totally KILLS. But so far I just havent seen the fight and desire that used to be their identity. Any D-Town fans wanna weigh in? Because in my mind they are a much better team than they have shown thus far this year. Still gotta love that Racer tho. But I gotta love those Charms a little more.

#5 the Rats v #4 the Cheesesteaks
I will say right here and now that I am a believer in Philly. They have speed, strength, depth, willpower and skillz in abundance! Liberty City is one of only 2 teams in all the land that I honestly believe could upset the Mighty Goths in a Derby bloodbath. I just love that Philly squad. And whats even cooler is that they just have so much personality. They are a very colorful squad of skaters that are a real blast to watch in action. Have I made it abundantly clear yet how much I like this Cheesesteak team?? Philly over the Rats. Sorry Seattle. I have ya goin 0-2 on Saturday. My how times have changed...

I'll have the Sunday picks for all of you Derby gambling addicts by Saturday night. I mean, I know how much is riding on these picks. It may mean the difference between hot dogs or filet mignon. Not that I personally eat any of that stuff. Nahhhh. For me its more a case of having a six of Natty Lite or a huge bottle of my beloved (some say hallucinagenic) Jaeger. And...uhhhh...I'm waaaay more in the mood for an ecstatic Jaeger buzz. Know what I mean? Natty Lite gives me a headache.

Roll Britannia!!! The 1st Euro Derby Tournament

Coming very soon is the Roll Britannia European Tournament and as I have become more fascinated with the UK Derby scene I want Rollerheads everywhere to be aware of this historic moment. The Tournament will be in London at the Earls Court !! Unreal. I really hope that there is an awesome turnout because all these teams deserve to be supported and cheered on. The Berlin and Stuttgart teams will be playing in the Tournament too and that is just more evidence of the growing Roller Derby phenomenon! I love it!! Check out the teams that will be in attendance:

Participating leagues are
Auld Reekie Rollergirls (Edinburgh, Scotland)
Berlin Bombshells (Berlin, Germany)
Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames (Birmingham, England)
Central City Rollergirls (Birmingham, England)
Glasgow Roller Girls (Glasgow, Scotland)
Leeds Roller Dolls (Leeds, England)
London Rockin Rollers (London, England)
London Rollergirls (London, England)
Rainy City Rollergirls (Manchester, England)
Royal Rebel Rollers (mixed team of Middlesborough Milk Rollers, Rebellion Rollergirls, and Windsor Rollergirls (Middlesborough, Kempston, & Windsor, England))
Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz (Stuttgart, Germany)
Team East Angrier (mixed team of Romsey Town Rollerbillies and Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls (Cambridge & Bedford, England))

Is that killer or what?! The London Rollergirls are busting their asses to build support and fans for the UK Derby scene and I wish them all the best. I will keep everyone abreast of the results from this tournament and I'm sure I'll have a few opinions too. Stay tuned...

In the meantime go here for more info and support UK Roller Derby!!

http://rollbritannia.com/index.php