Biker Dave's Roller Derby Blog

INTERNATIONAL ROLLER DERBY IS BLOWING UP!!!

2011-10-11T12:20:00.009-05:00

The International Roller Derby scene is growing at a lightning pace and I've been quite fascinated by the International Derby scene over the past year. As a result I will be offering profiles of foreign leagues and skaters in addition to my usual ramblings. I've looked around and personally I haven't seen ANY other blogs that focus on the International scene and so it is my hope that I can draw some American interest in this incredible Roller Derby phenomenon. The language barrier does hamper my gathering of info on foreign leagues but ya know...I do what I can. Of course there will continue to be some posts on the American Derby scene and an occasional foray into Banked Track stuff too. Cuz...ya know...Banked Track KICKS ASS.

With the first ever upcoming World Cup of Roller Derby coming soon to Toronto, Canada there needs to be focus on the International game SOMEWHERE...so why not here?? I also intend to post profiles on every international team that will be attending the World Cup! And look for an article on the Columbian Roller Derby scene. Roller Derby in Columbia is undergoing tremendous growth with teams in Medellin and Bogota. Best thing to come outta Columbia since Shakira!!

It's gonna be awesome! And yes yes...I know I've been absent for well over a year and a half. I've had a lot of crazy shit thats happened over that year and a half and perhaps at some point I'll go deeper into all that. But for now just grab a brewski and kick back. Maybe throw on some Ramones. This should be a fun ride.

*****Picture above features Roller Derby Costa Rica!! Cool!! 8)

http://www.facebook.com/rollerderbycostarica?ref=ts

My Roller Derby Tee Shirt Collection...yet another obsession.

2010-03-22T10:19:00.008-05:00

Yeah...Derby tees...got more than a few and can never have enough. And whats cool is that sometimes when I get a tee in the mail I also get some other cool stuff too. Ya know...stickers, buttons, bottle openers, key fobs, postcards, schedules, flyers. I freakin' LOVE it!! Bring it on!! And now it seems that Dallas Derby Devils...henceforth known only as the Devils..are sendin' me a DDD tee with "Biker Dave" on the back. WOW *blush* Im feelin' the love here lately. Nice. Thanks to Brenda from DDD for that one!

And I also wanna shout out to the great London Rollergirls!! Love that squad. Lisa arranged for a tee to be sent from across the pond for my BDay but it didnt get here until last week. And what a great surprise to find so many fun Derby-things. Button, stickers (gave a few away to a couple of REAL excited Rollergirls...hahaha), a combination fob/bottle opener (!!), a postcard schedule and an awesome Roll Britannia patch. When I build up enuff patches I think I might get a denim vest and have em all sewn on. Thanx LONDON... You skaters are awesome!!

And a 'lil shout out to Bakersfield Rollergirls too! I got a tee from them and when they shipped it I got stickers and buttons too. Ya know I just cant get enuff Derby-things. Which got me to thinkin'.

I think that after I've built up enuff of those said Derby-things wouldnt it be cool to have a Modern Roller Derby Museum?? Seriously! Skaters could donate uni's, skates or whatever and everything could go into the Museum for all the Derby fans to see. And the Museum would start, historically speaking, with the Austin-born brand of "modern" Roller Derby (with respect and due given to Ann Calvello of course). Because really, Derby is a true sport in its modern incarnation and eventually deserves a Museum of its own. Something apart from the Old School Derby. I could see it happening. There could be a records/posters/photos/flyers room...jerseys and skates of notable Rollergirls..all the WFTDA Champs pics line one wall...hmmmm. Yeah...I like the sounda that. And there could be a seperate section for Banked-Track stuff too. It would be epic!!

For those who would like to see my Roller Derby tee collection just click on that facebook dealie to your right and check out the album!

The Sioux Falls v Naptown Preview!

2010-03-19T09:48:00.004-05:00

Before I even start can I go on a 'lil rant right quick?? NO BLACK TEE'S!!?? Come on SFRD!! I need a BLACK SFRD tee! Okay...got that offa my chest so lets just move on shall we?? Those aforementioned Fightin' Sioux are coming to Naptown to bout tomorrow nite!! Damn...Im such a slacker...puttin' up my bout preview the DAY BEFORE the bout. Ridiculous. Oh well. The Sioux have a WFTDA record of 3-5 and when I saw them at the last Fall Brawl I was mightily impressed with them. They looked like a disciplined, fit, quick team with very good chemistry. I got to chat with Lilly Kill Kill at the Tournament and I remember being struck by how tight-knit this team is. I mean, remember, they DO hail from the "Best Lil DERBY City in America"!! The Sioux won against apparent arch-nemesis Omaha x2 but have also LOST to Omaha x2. And then there was that strange, nearly surreal bout against Naptown. Was that bout in a pole barn with pigeons flying around while a dog barking contest ensued next door??! Really??! Uh huh. And so NRG went down to SFRD. Ouch. At any rate SF have been VERY respectable in all their bouts with the one exception being a -139 point showing against the Minnies. That one was for growth n experience so all is well. Can I admit something?? I really respect this team. They have some good sponsers and are building a following in a metro area pool of only 232,000 people. And it should also be mentioned here that Sioux Falls was voted the 93rd angriest city out of 100 by Mens Health magazine...and what anger this city actually DOES possess resides within this talented Derby team!! And hey...SF is Colts TE Dallas Clarks hometown so thats pretty damn cool. 8)

Its pretty awesome that the Sioux have 29 skaters on their roster at this point. Who's gonna show up on the bout roster?? I havent a clue. I do hope that the modelesque Lilly shows tho...she's cool. Hopefully the league Co-Founders, Queen Elizabitch and PainMaker, show too cuz I would like too meet and chat. Now at this point ya all gotta be thinkin' "Whats with this freakin' SFRD lovefest??". I know...I know. But ya know what?? I truly believe that bout against the Sioux was an abberation. Look, our Rollergirls may have been a bit rattled by the venue...the loooong trip or whatever. But with the play I've seen thus far this season I would bet the mortgage on Naptown in this one. And remember...I dont predict Naptown bouts. Oops. I just did.

Oh and btw...that gorgeous Rollergirl pictured above is Lilly Kill Kill. She's awesome as a pivot, blocker OR jammer. Damn I hope she shows for this one.

Memphis v Naptown Bout Preview !!

2010-02-03T09:28:00.005-06:00

Yeah yeah...its been awhile Rollerheads...too long a while. But its time to get Derby Crazy again and I'm really looking forward to this Saturdays Memphis v NRG bout. Memphis hail from the crowded 17 team South Central Region and they've been a WFTDA member since Halloween 2008. They are currently ranked by FTS at #28 and have a 2009/10 record of 6-4. Their 2 in-state rivals are Hard Knox and Nashville. The Memphis squad was born 4 yrs ago almost to the day. Theyve had a few impressive victories over such teams as the Killbillies, H Knox, the Greenies and Dixie. When faced w upper level, established teams theyve proven to be gamers but still not quite up to the skill level of the ATL and Nash. At this point getting into the S Central Regionals has to be the goal and they do have a solid defense.

The 2 Jammers of concern to the Nap skaters are 'Lil Cinner and Irene Business. If NRG contains those 2 Jammers and can consistently provide support for their wealth of Jammers then I do think that the Red n Black will win this bout. Lets face it...Jammer depth has NOT been a problem for Zaptown this season thus far (even with the loss of Ace *weep!*) and theres no reason to believe that scoring points is gonna be a major concern. There's also the fact that NRG have been going up against major league teams for a season longer than Memphis' Angels of Death and Nap's level of competition seems a bit tuffer than the Angels. The one glaring bout that stands out for me in the Angels history took place at last years Southern Fried Smackdown Tournament. Memphis went 1-3 and got taken out to the 'ole proverbial woodshed by Tampa Bay. The Southern Angels went down to the Bay by 124 points!! (229-105). I have to admit I was a bit taken aback by that score but on the other hand T Bay ARE an under-rated, over-looked team. Tampa is tuffer than most Derbyholics know. Still... -124?? Against the Bay?? Hmmmmm.

The solid S Angels defense is anchored by Blocker Cat Claus. The Jammers I expect we'll see are the aforementioned Cinner and Irene, Smokin, Jill Em All and the talented up n comer Rolls Royce. The last bout for Memphis took place a few weeks ago on Jan 23rd against NWA where they emerged victorious over the Killbillies by 44 points.

With our beloved Naptown girls currently ranked #23 by FTS this undefeated season has REALLY moved NRG up in the rankings and things have looked fantastic thus far. At this point missing the North Central Regionals would be an unmitigated DISASTER !! Lets hope that doesnt happen...

With the somewhat top-heavy S Central Region being dominated by the Original Muthas and the Warriors the Memphis squad has their work cut out for them but they've proven to be a competitive team with some fairly intimidating Blockers providing consistent defense. This should be a very entertaining bout and a serious test for the Southern Angels.

The likely Roster for Memphis:

1 on 1 Instant Karmen

9 to 5 Irene Business
8HER Black n Blue
23 Chica Bandita
24 Li'l Cinner
74 Bad Juju
79 Cat Claus
213 Ragin' Caucasian
9mm Demi Automatic
911 Brooken Bones
1134 Bloody Elle
1975 La Sucia

28 Tenacious B

821 Lena Deadtrick

*BTW...thats Jammer Rolls Royce in the pic above. See you Napheads this Saturday !!

"Why I Haven't Written Anything in a While"...or "The Last Days of my Father"

2010-01-11T16:06:00.006-06:00

My Dad went downhill so quickly it seems now. A year ago he had chemo for cancer and that was the first serious health issue I can ever remember him having. He just never ever got that ill or went under the knife. I myself am quite fortunate in that. Yeah...got the appendix, tonsils AND wisdom teeth still...never had a surgery or broken a bone. We seemed so invulnerable. But invulnerability is an illusion of course...the armor rusts. And after the chemo Pops immune system went weak and all kinds of sleeping ailments awoke and attacked. The biggest issue was the failure of his lungs due to pulmonary disease. His lungs were quitting on him and he had signed all the "do not resuscitate" paperwork (and Mom too). In his last days he was very open and sometimes raw in what he had to say. And he said plenty to me. Thats between my Dad and me but I can tell you that he really didnt want to go. In the end he passed away in a morphine aided sleep and went peacefully. And we all were deeply saddened. I took it particularly hard. Pops and me have an "interesting" history but I knew that the guy loved us all. That was clear. He was a tough guy but full of humor too. I'm really gonna miss him...alot.

I remember the very last time I went out with Dad. It was a somewhat haunting experience looking back now but I'm glad I had the chance to have it. I was gonna go to the Off Track Betting joint downtown to play the ponies...a hobby of mine that I've picked up. Its fun and I usually do fairly well. At any rate I had no plans on taking Pop with me but something told me to give him a call and see if he wanted me to swing by and pick him up. He said "Sure...come on by". I picked him up and it was kind of a production what with all the medical gear he had to drag with him. Cane, oxygen, tank. So I had him sit in the backseat in the Jag and it was easier getting him in and outta the car that way. Dad had never ridden in the ole Jaguar XJ6. He LOVED the ride and kept commenting on how great the Jag was and how much liked the interior. Hey...whats not to like?? Its a classic. At any rate we had mixed luck at the OTB but had a great time anyway. My Dad liked to gamble but hadnt played the ponies all that much. He really enjoyed himself and kept telling me what a good time he had at the OTB. When we went to leave we went up the elevator and got off on the 7th floor of the parking garage. There was a very very slight incline to reach the car from the elevator and without thinking too much I walked slowly to the car. Then I realized Dad wasnt behind me...and I looked back and he was stopped and gasping for air...perched on his cane. It struck me how bad his lungs really gotten...I guess I hadnt seen him all that much recently. He looked at me, frustrated with his fight for air, and said "This is a fuckin' bitch". That moment haunted me for weeks and still its a moment that replays in my head over and over like a skipping record. He made his way to the car as I helped and we took off for home. In an awkward moment I said "Hey Dad...u were going downhill when we went TO the escalator, but coming back you were going uphill". Sorta trying to ease his irritation at his declining condition.

And so all this leads me to the reason for this post. Roller Derby has been a great passion of mine and I adore this great sport. I really do. And yet these last few months I have become uninspired, drained and lacking focus. Add to that the fact that for a few months I ws just "outta the loop". But ya know what?? Im fuckin' BACK. And I'm feeling the passion returning. I'm becoming that Derby obsessed maniac that you've come to know and expect!

One of the last things my Dad said before he passed away was "When I get to Heaven I'm gonna have a beer and shoot some pool". I'm pretty sure they allow that Pop.

WFTDA Nationals Day 2 - Quick Picks!

2009-11-14T09:21:00.004-06:00

Well...looks like the favorites did all that was necessary to win yesterday and frankly only one bout was ever in question...Beans v Madolls. Friday was about utter dominance from teams that have been red hot since Regionals a few months back. And of course I had to be a wise guy and pick at least one upset just to make things interesting and the Mile Highs made sure that I paid for my transgression. They were unquestioningly better than the Warriors yesterday, thats for damn sure. At any rate, with my sucky work schedule looming I'm gonna hafta hit n run again so lets get to it:

(FTS Rankings)

1. #10 the Beans v #5 the Original Muthas

As impressive as Bean City's win was yesterday in a serious battle with the Madolls its gonna be an uphill struggle today as they go up against those O.M.'s from TX. I just cant pick against TX in this bout because in the end the Muthas just seem too poised...too much on a mission...to be stopped in their tracks by Boston. Nope. Cant see it. The Originals win in a bout that should be interesting early. But in the 2nd half TX will pull away and continue their quest to regain the Throne of Derby.

2. #19 the Rockstars v #4 the Cheesesteaks

Hmmmmm. Its time for the 'ole heart vs head scenario. As you probably know my heart is with Frida and the Rockstars but I REALLY like this Philly team who have become one of my favorite Derby teams over the last 2 years. And howzabout that Killer Rocks team that dominated H-Town from the outset Friday?? There are so many skaters in this bout that are among my personal faves so this is a tuff pick for me. When you consider the fact that...hey...I'm full on rooting for those Rocky girls wellll....this is difficult. But heres the thing...Liberty will be the strongest team that the Rocks have faced this season. Hell, maybe the tuffest team that they have EVER faced. This will be a serious test for them and then theres the fact that the Cheesesteaks are gonna have a home track advantage with fans aplenty screaming and cheering them on. The smart money will, of course, be on Philly here. How could it NOT be?? But you have to also consider the unreal journey that the Killer Rocks have been on since Regionals...yes, they are on a mission from the Derby Goddess herself and sure seem to have her blessing! This is gonna be real interesting. Heart...the Rocks. Head...Liberty City. So put yer money on Philly but just dont be upset if those amazing Rollergirls from Rocky pull off the upset of the Tournament. For the brave among you...sneak in a lil upset pick here. For me. GO ROCKSTARS

3. #3 Mile Highs v #2 the Crushers

This should be a fairly competitive closely contested bout but ya have to realise that WCR is coming in fresh and rested and ready to crush. Last nite the Milers proved once again why they are among the elite in Derby with everything working for them against KC. But this Crushers team is a far cry from KC. Yeah...Windy will emerge victorious here. Sorry Denver.

4. #6 Holy Oly v #1 the Mighty Gothic Queens of Utter Destruction and Mayhem

This may be a better bout than the Goth faithful may realise. At least thats my opinion. Oly has had a remarkable season and would certainly shock the Derby World with a victory here...but uuuuhhh...aint gonna happen. And there were times in the Regionals when Oly's lack of big prime time bout experience showed. And then theres the question of bench depth. Oly has a nice bench but not Goth nice. I said yesterday that the Mighty Goths wouldnt lose Friday or Saturday and I realise thats no big stretch but the Goths are gonna be BIG TIME today. They are on a serious mission people and no Holy Oly is gonna stand in their way. This may get ugly in the 2nd half as the Goths simply wear down Oly. Pick the Gothic Queens. Dont be silly.

WFTDA Nationals Day 1 - Quick Picks

2009-11-12T18:09:00.002-06:00

Finally the Nationals are here and I have scant time to write as much as I would like but I am gonna make some "quick picks" for Day One's WFTDA bouts. After all, I know some of you need to win some games and take that happy trip to the payout window. And so without further ado...the picks:

(FTS Rankings used)

1. #10 the Beans v #13 the Madolls

Considering how surprisingly well that the Madolls have played this year it wouldnt be a shock to see an upset here. But my cashish is on the skaters of Bean City. They just seem to be a notch above Madison and I'm going with the favorite here.

2. #20 H- Town v #21 the Killer Rocks

Its interesting to consider that going into this bout HOU is ranked by WFTDA at #17 and the Rockstars are at #7. Regardless of the rankings gulf theres NO WAY that the Rockstars go down in their first bout outta the gate. No way. And yes I'm playing favorites...cuz you know thats how I roll. GO KILLER ROCKS!!

3. #5 Mile Highs v #9 Warriors

For my money it seems that the KC skaters have overachieved somewhat this year but having said that I just have a feeling about them. I HAVE to pick an underdog somewhere and although I may get stung I'm gonna pick those Warriors here. Please dont hate on me Milers...you have an excellent team and you could easily prove me wrong but I have to play this hunch tho...cuz picking all favorites is lame.

4, #8 Deeeetroit v #1 the Goths

Uh huh...suuuuure. Like I'm gonna pick against the Mighty Gothic Destruction Machine of Derby. Not gonna happen people. Not Friday...and not Saturday either. Heads up Rollerheads...that narrow defeat a few months back to the Liberty City squad has the Mighty Gothic Queens in a damn serious mood. And they are READY to defend their Derby Crown this weekend. Very very ready.

Its gonna be a great Tournament and I wish that there were some way that I could have been there in Cheesesteak City. I would have damn sure bought shots of Jaeger all around for those Rocky Mtn Rollergirls...proud of them! Go get 'em Frida!

Naptown v Hearts Bout Recap! <3

2009-11-11T22:20:00.006-06:00

Woah!! What a way to break in the Pepsi Coliseum!! A crowd of nearly 3500 Derby fans filled the Pepsi Coliseum last Saturday night as the Naptown skaters faced the Hearts of Bloomington and it was an incredible night for the Nap faithful as both the Belles and the Sirens came totally focused and willful. From the outset it seemed that both squads just had Bloomingtons number and were both offensively and defensively on top of their game. Even tho at times it seemed that the Hearts were overwhelmed they will gain valuable experience from these 2 bouts. Indy's experience was quite evident in both bouts but especially so in the Sirens v Flatliners game. You know that I adore KaKa but she just had nowhere to go ALL NIGHT. And containing her was an on fire defense that saw Sin, Touretta, Sweet, Ima, 4 Leaf and CK killing it ALL NIGHT long. And I'm talking NO let up whatsoever. What an incredible night of Derby we witnessed.

Look...I'll go over the bouts in a bit but lets start at the beginning 'kay? The unseasonably warm weather drove home the point that even tho I would be comin from north Indy all the way to Mooresville in the cold at night there was no damn way I wasnt gonna RIDE. And so I did. Had a gorgeous cruise to Broad Ripple for the Prebout Hangout w/the gang. Caught up w Dill, Tom K, Lux n Lori, Amby, CR, Johnny and other Rollerheads and that was a fine way to start my day. I have to admit that I was scanning the TV constantly lookin for early Breeders Cup results and sippin some Blue Moons 8). At any rate I then took a lil ride downtown before headin to the Coliseum. Saw some of the gang then headed in and was struck by the fact that...oh yeah...NRG is doing SportCourt this season! The surface drew a mix of responses from both NRG and BHRG skaters but all in all a majority were positive. You wanna know how much that nice surface costs tho?? $20,000 or so!! Holy freaking shit they're proud of that SportCourt!! Quiiiiite a bit of money there...sheeeesh. Is it faster?? Yes! Is it slower? Yes! is it easier to fall on? Yes! Is it tuffer to fall on? Yes! And so on and so on...just seemed like such a subjective thing w/the skaters really. Sure as hell LOOKS nice...nice and professional. Love it.

What an excellent turnout for the season opener too. A great crowd showed with a smattering of Hearts fans in the seats cheering on their Rollergirls. I said it before but I'll say it again...I really like the Hearts. There is some real talent to be seen on this team and with more experience and learning to play for each other they will be an interesting team to watch over the next couple of seasons. More team chemistry and pack communication will hopefully be gained and I have to just come out and say it...the Hearts need a full time Coach and Bench Mgr. They just DO. Like all the up n coming teams. KaKa is needed as the star Jammer with nothing to distract her from her point scoring mission, know what I mean?? KaKa is fantastic and with better team blocking and speed control she will be able to fly.

On the Hearts side of things I have to say I was a bit surprised that I didnt see Felanie Charges. Wher was Felanie? At any rate I thought that Zero did the most she could all night with what was given her. And not much was given. And Oh yeah...ya knew I was waiting for the Assassins intros so I could see how the announcers would introduce Anita Fingerbang 8). For the record she was intro'd as A.F. Bang (haha). Cool name Anita...love it! I wanna see Anita Fingerbang tee shirts EVERYWHERE next season 'kay? Seriously...a virtual SEA of Anita Fingerbang collectibles need to be produced...can ya see the $$$? Can ya Bloomington??! Hell yes. Betty Wreckognize had a nice nite too. I saw her crushing hits several times during the game.

And on the Belles side of things I was totally shocked when Strawberry Jam skated out!! Are you freaking kiddin' me?? SJ!!! THAT was great! Seriously cool. And maybe I've been outta the loop this summer but...Old Broad?? On the BELLES?!? WTF? That was another shocker for me. It was cool to get to see all the new skaters in action for the first time too...Freddie,Smashley, Trauma,Dazy, Fonda and may I say ,the very impressive Maiden America. The "Iron" Maiden was kickin total ass all nite people. And I told her so at the Afterparty too. Keep yer eye on this Jammer Napfans because she could be a point scoring star. The entire Belles roster did an amazing job all bout long and they have much to be proud of. Di and Jen did a great job coaching too. In addition to the Iron Maiden, Racer had another solid nite Jamming. Even tho the Belles lost several key skaters to the Sirens you sure as hell couldnt tell...they were impressive.

And so on to the Flatliners we go. Look...Im just a guy okay?? And so I have to say...Hell-No Kitty is a knockout. *smirk* Just sayin'. And we all love the Cult of Rollergirl Kitties! All hail the once and future Queen Kitty Liquorbottom!! On a sidenote I actually heard from Kitty Killjoy about a month ago...and it made my day. LOVE the kitties!! The Hearts have a lot of personality and style and even tho, to be honest, they werent ever really a threat to the Sirens, they were fun to watch just the same. Terror had some moments but both her and KaKa had a frustrating nite up against that NRG pack. Like I said earlier...the Bloomington skaters need a full time Head Coach and Bench Mgr. Really helps when what you're doing isnt working and you need to adjust on the fly or at least at the half.

And then there's those Serious Sirens...who came, saw and conquered from the very first jam. I have no superlatives left for Ace...she was UN...FREAKING...BELIEVABLE. It is an utter joy to watch her skate...makes my Derby lovin heart just POUND. Damn...she's unreal...just a star. Thank you for coming back Ace...I know you heard those chants and cheers every time you took the floor. Feels great doesnt it? Hell yeah. And when she went in at the end of the bout to play Pivot(!!) she was just as impressive. And when "the Natural" got her chances to jam she made the most of them as always. Blue is such a talent. And howzabout that Cap'n Katya? Fire and zeal all nite from her of course. Slammy had a solid nite and how awesome was it seeing the Superhero Shadi out there Jamming again?? Shadi! Shadi! Shadi! She's as much a fan favorite as any Siren for sure. Love her! The entire Sirens squad killed it. Coach J is back people and she aint taking any prisoners!! A glorious night for the Zaptown Girls and that raucous crowd was just eating it up. I know I was.

The new venue worked brilliantly. We still have adequate suicide seats and plenty of excellent seating for the ever growing crowd of Napfans. It was perfect...just perfect. And I cant even tell you how many hugs I got from skaters and fellow fans. We have a very special Derby community here in Indy and it got to the point where it was like some kind of family reunion. And oh yeah...before I forget...how beautiful is it that bad ass Touretta came back for another season?! Touretta just rules. As we all know.

The afterparty was a great time and I have to say that the Hearts and the Naps got along really well and genuinely seemed to enjoy each others company. Which was cool. B'ton has their own flavor and will be interesting to watch as they grow as a team and begin bouting serious WFTDA teams. Its a process. Had fun chatting with Zero, Unicoroner, Rocket and the Illustrious KaKa. Keep yer chin up KaKa...your rollergirls are gonna grow from this experience, just like Naptown did in their losses.

And so I eagerly await the upcoming rematch with the Burns. It wont be like last time, I can assure you of that. Those Burns have been battle tested and are a vastly superior team to what we saw last time. Its gonna be epic. And yes...the long, somewhat chilly ride home did give me a head cold and a scratchy throat. Well worth it! Great job Zaptown...an awesome way to begin the season.

Naptown v Hearts Bout Preview!

2009-11-01T16:30:00.005-06:00

At long last the Nap skaters will take on the Bleeding Heartland team from Bloomington. For those of you not aware of the past history of these teams they used to be one. The league was called Crossroads Roller Derby and was set up to draw from both Indy and Bloomington. Due to a variety of reasons the league split into Naptown and Bleeding Heartland. Naptown was first out of the gate and took Indy by storm. They quickly rose and joined WFTDA. The Hearts on the other hand took a while to get off the ground and slowly built their league on a steady diet of intraleague bouting. The Hearts have only recently joined WFTDA and have a record of 1-1. Having been down to B'ton sveral times to catch some BHRG bout action I would have to say that its quite a change of Derby culture. Considering that only a half hour trip separates the 2 leagues there is a marked difference in the crowd and the flavor of Derby being played. More than anything I think the fact that the Hearts play each other all the time and Race City is set up strictly for travel team play is the difference. Neither is necessarily better than the other and much debate has been had discussing the pros and cons of each style of league. Ultimately I am of the opinion that for the sake of team health and chemistry that the "One Team One League" style of Naptown is the way to go, but there are also some good things that come from having a league of 2 or more teams.

At any rate...this may be the bout of the season. Lets be frank...both of these teams REALLY REALLY want to emerge victorious from this epic bout. I am so pumped up for this one and you should be too because its gonna be as intense as last years legendary F Dubb bout. And then there's all the changes that have happened. A change of venue and Coaching staff will add a new and different dimension to Naps squad. Theres all the retirements of last year (come back Jane!!!!) and the new roster of Rollergirls. I was ecstatic to hear that the Amazin Blazin ACE is gonna return for another season too. She remains Race City's great superstar and killer Jammer and is so critical to NRG's attempt to rise back up in the WFTDA rankings. But theres a wealth of young talent being groomed on the Belles squad and some of those skaters will prove to be invaluable additions to the Sirens roster.

Naptown is currently ranked by FTS at #40 with an overall record of 6-6. BHRG won a game against Hard Knox 97-75 but it was closer than the score would suggest. Their first official WFTDA bout was a butt kicking by the way more established G Rag. They ended up losing by 205 points. Ouch. But as is often the case that aforementioned butt kicking has served the Hearts well and they grew from the experience to be sure. The biggest star on the Hearts squad is without any doubt Jammer KaKa Caliente. She is absolutely amazing and I guarentee that when shes jamming you wont be able to take yer eyes off of her. Well...unless she's up against our ACE! I really like BHRG's team. They have some real potential and with Jammers like KaKa, Unicoroner (back from injury?), Bad Mudda Trucka (backfrom injury?) and Felanie Charges theres much to be optimistic about. The crowds have really grown for Bloomington and now that they're officially WFTDA the future is bright indeed for those Rollergirls in IU-ville.

I just have to believe that in the end Zaptowns vast experience against well established, experienced teams will prove the difference. If NRG can contain KaKa then they will be difficult for the Hearts to beat. It will be very interesting to see what transpires in this heated bout tho. What will all the changes since last year mean for the NRG girls? Who will be the top Jammers (besides Ace of course)? Will the new Pepsi Coliseum venue bring in more fans? Will there be a loss of the intimacy of the Toyota Pavilion? What new strategies will the Coaches employ? Will Kamikaze Chicken make an appearance? Will every Napfan shout in unison "Right you are Dill!"?? Will Anita Fingerbang be allowed to have her name on her jersey? Yeah..its gonna be very interesting. And perhaps the first bout of an annual grudge match the likes of Nap v Cincy or Nap v F Dubb. Do not miss this bout people!!!

Flatliners Roster (A Team)

Code Blue Assassins (B Team)

Western Regionals- Day 2

2009-10-03T09:28:00.002-05:00

Well I went 3-1 the first day so I'm not out any cashish. Hell, I came out ahead. AND those Rocks went 2-0 yesterday too. So yeah...nice day. I wish I would have been able to catch all of the bouts that happened Friday, but work and other commitments created a situation where I was only able to take a peek, during lunch break, when the Killer Rocks were just hammering away at the Tramps. Then I was able to catch some bout action after 8:30pm est. Not enuff Derby Tournament action for my tastes really. Oh well, on to Day 2's matchups. And Frida? That "dedication" really made my day! Thanks...

1- #35 the Tramps v #13 the Dukes

Yeah, a real Southwestern Showdown going on in this bout. Break out the green chilies and Margaritas! And from what I saw yesterday there's no way I'm picking against the Dukies. The ABQ have already beaten the Tramps once this year and for whatever reason Tuscon just seem lost. Not as lost as AZ mind you, but somewhat flat at any rate. Not to state the obvious but the Dukes just arent the same team that they were a year ago. They are still SOLID, just not really elite. They are however MORE than enuff to dismantle the Tramps. Now ya see ABQ...I picked you in this bout. And I would have to say that this ones the lock of the day. A LOCK. And I'm not just saying that cuz I still have a little of that enchanted NM blood in me. Its your day Dukies...its your day. Have a drink on me.

2- #26 the Pikes v #6 the BADasses

As much as I would love to see this be a close, competitive, exciting bout...I just dont think its gonna happen. I predict that the BAD skaters will run away in this one early and never look back. They may be somewhat gassed after last nights epic struggle against the Coffee City Rats but I would imagine that they still have enuff left to beat the Pikes today. The Badasses are now 1-5 in '09 but its an IMPRESSIVE 1-5. Thats right, there is such a thing as an "impressive" 1-5 record. I mean, when ya take on the elite, the Heavyweights, yer probably gonna get cracked in the head a few times. But that punishment eventually makes you stronger and tuffer. And the BAD Rollergirls have lost to MAJOR teams ( the Original Muthas, the Rosies, the Beans and the Rats x2). It'll all pay off next year BAD. You Rollergirls are gonna be MAJOR in '10. Ya heard it here.

3- #29 Angel Pretty v #13 the Rosies

What a day it must have been for the Angels. They got the mild upset in their first game and then ran headfirst into a Mile High Tank in their second game of the day.They were never a factor against Denver, but who was really betting against DEN in this game? Not the smart money. But as if the Angel Pretty skaters didnt already have a nice core of diehard fans, they definitely emerged with more fans when Friday was over. The Angels are so charismatic and cool. Who could ever root against them?? Not me. But having said all that I dont think that they'll stand much of a chance against the Roses really. The Rosies hung extremely tuff earlier this year against Oly and lost by a mere 6 points so I dont think that they're gonna have too much trouble with the LA squad. The Rosies have had quite a year thus far with impressive wins over such teams as the Rats, the Carols and the BADasses. NICE. Reeeaaal nice. Lay it out for the Portland Rollergirls...they wont disappoint.

4- #5 the Rats v #15 Holy Oly

And this is where I take a real chance. This is where I may get torched. I dont give a damn, I'm picking Holy Oly in this one. FTS has them ranked at #15. Really?! #15?! Hell no...not a chance. I could care less what the usually reliable algorithmic formulas say, Oly is a top 10 team at LEAST. IF the Coffee City skaters do beat Oly then it would be their most impressive victory of the year in my eyes. No doubt. If my hunch is right and Holy Oly is the winner tho, I cant really say that its THEIR most impressive win of the year. They DID beat the Mile Highs. Thats fairly impressive considering the year that Denver is having. Will the Rats rise up and make us all believers in them again? Lets see...Oly beat the Milers who beat the Rats so that works right?? Uhhhh...sorta kinda. Go with Oly. Since when have they lost in '09? Uhhh...they haven't.

5- #24 the Rocks v #5 the Mile Highs

I hate this I really do. I would imagine that a few people scanned right to this pick straight away. Is he really gonna pick the Rocks in this bout? Really? Is he that stupid?? Is he that much of a blind-in-the-eyes Fanboy that he would lay $$$ out on the RMRG squad against Denver? And this is why I never pick Naptown bouts. Because it just doesnt matter what my brain tells me, spitting out stats and percentages, cuz in my HEART I always believe that somehow, someway NRG is gonna find a way to win games that they should lose. I cant go picking games with that kinda emotionally overcharged mindset! Hell no. I could lose money. And I'm not in the habit of losing money. And then there's just the fact that Naptown are my Homegirls...even if I THINK that they're gonna lose a particular bout theres no way that I'm actually gonna write that. Or say it. Dont wanna jinx the Homesquad. Thats why I hate picking Beer City or Archies bouts. I DO pick 'em but it causes me some pain to ever pick against those 2 teams when I have to. Same deal for the Killer Rocks. I'm not laying a single dollar on this game. Nope. I believe in the Rockstars...I do. I mean, its not like they're gonna struggle with that thin air right? Is this the game that shows all the Rollerheads nationwide what the Rocks are really capable of? It could be. I know, I know. The smart money is on Denver. I get that, I really do. Just look at their record!! Who's gonna really bet against them in this bout? A silly assed Fanboy...thats who. Go get 'em Rockstars!

The Western Regionals...All Things Being Equal

2009-10-01T18:32:00.006-05:00

Yep...the Westerns. Tournament of the oh-so-equal-in-a-top-flight kinda way. Equally dangerous, quick, talented, athletic and willfull. This is the Tournament that everyone has gotta see because its all up for grabs in the craziest Regional of '09. Look, I make no secret of the fact that I am a guy that has teams that are near and dear. I play favorites...and I adore the Killer Rocks okay? Cant help it and I cant apologize either. Yes...they are the team I have a soft spot for in the West. They are the team I'm gonna be a silly assed Fanboy over. Frida, Pinky and the Killer Rocks will be bringin it! As will every team in this brutal, evenly matched Tournament. Anyway, on to the sure-fire, cant miss picks!!! Mmmm Hmmm. Suuuuure.....

*All rankings are FTS

1. #24 the Killer Rocks v #35 the Tramps

Come on now...you damn well KNOW who I'm gonna pick in this bout. But even if I was a hardcore, dyed in the wool Tramps fan I would be plenty worried here. The Rocks are gonna be TUFF. Tuscon is a thin 1-2 in '09, with a win over AZ and losses to the Dukies and DEN. The Rocks are 2-3 this year but lost to the Beans, the Dukies and lost a close one to the Pikes 120-113. They had a nice win against Sac City, but Sac C may be on a bit of a backslide. And their other win was against Omaha, a team that the Rocks SHOULD beat. So the resumes are bit vague this time out but I gotta go with the Killer Rocks in this one. Absolutely. Cause I care about my gambled dollar and I'm a silly assed Fanboy for the Rollergirls of Rocky Mountain.

2. #26 the Pikes v #29 Angel Pretty

One in a series of very interesting match ups pits the ole Pikes v Lovely Modelesque Angel Pretty. Ya know...the Angels DO hail from fashionable LA so you damn well KNOW that they're pretty. And they are such a fun fun team to watch. They have mucho charisma and charm no doubt. But I just dont know...my gut is telling me Pikes in this one. The Angels are a nice 3-2, but their wins have come against AZ (what the hell is up with AZ anyway???), the Oranges and the Sinners. The Pikes have a record of 4-5 but THEIR wins have come against the likes of the Killer Rocks (nooo!), Sac C and uhhhh...AZ (Please Derby Goddess lay yer hands upon this lost child Arizona...your beloved mad skating child who has lost her way). And the Pikes beat the Wreckers Greenies too. I just cant shake the feeling that the skaters of Pikes Peak will get past the Adorable Angel Pretty. Which is something of a bummer. Nothing against Psycho and the gang of course but it would just be reeeaal nice to see the Angels win. Ya cant help but eventually fall madly in love with the Angels. Their powers of persuasion and sheer beauty will entice you. They have such a magnetic personality those LA Rollergirls do. But my $$$ says no...go with Psycho and the Pikes. The "Sinister Sisters" are pretty too.

3. #15 Oly v #13 the Dukies

Ahhhh yes...Albucrackee, my former stompin grounds. It seems that I am forever picking against them and sometimes (as in last years Nationals) they nail me. I plan on moving back to the Land of Entrapment someday and I would like to win friends and influence people but there is NO f'n WAY I am going against Oly in this bout. I mean....REALLY? Would you? Lets see...Oly have burned Angel Pretty, the Pikes, Denver (!), the Rosies and Slaughter. Thats a record of 5-0 and they are on a major roll and I cant see picking against them here. The ABQ have lost to some incredibly brutal teams yes, but they have only beaten the Tramps, Dallas and the Rocks (noooo!). Sorry Dukes. Oly is my pick because Oly is RED HOT. SCORCHING HOT.

4. #5 the Rats v #6 the BADasses

Shit. Back and forth I have gone with this predict. Rats! BADasses! Yes! No! Uhhhh...Rats?? Yeahhhh....Rats. That sounds plausible, from a "quality wins" standpoint if nothing else. The Rats have beaten the likes of the Carols, Deeeetroit and the ABQ whereas the BADasses are 1-4 with their lone win coming against Lovely Angel Pretty. Now granted, the BAD losses have come against killer teams (the Muthas, the Rosies, the Beans and...ummmm the RATS). BAD could certainly take this bout, of that I have no doubt. But the Rats are caffienated and ready to kill. The Rats are out to prove that they are back among the elite. They may very well be.

And once again I will try my best to stay on top of things and update and predict. If yer a conservative gambler you had better just stay away from this whole Tournament. You are bound to see some last Jam nail-biters and I wouldnt want ya to have to dial 911 sweatin it over yer mortgage payment that ya laid out for the Rats. Its gonna be epic!! Now GO Killer Rocks!! Love to ya from Zaptown...

South Central Predictions...the Muthas Kill All

2009-09-25T18:43:00.005-05:00

South Central Tournament prediction right here: Texas wins everything. Everyone fucking dies. All are annihilated. All are obliterated. The end.

And the Warriors are a strong second. But they too will die. Like I said, everyone fucking DIES. All are torched. And I have to say that KC have been better than I expected during what was supposed to be a rebuilding phase of sorts. But I will be the first to admit...they really are an exceptional team. Too bad they are in the same Regional as the Original Muthas tho. Yeah...cause like I said. Skulls and crossbones.

Who can possibly take on TX in this Tournament?? WHO? No one. Absolutely no one. But the Warriors will be a fun team to watch at any rate. And for those more masochistic Rollerheads...watch any bout that features Texas. All will die. The Muthas will destroy everyone. All shall writhe in agony before them.

I may be falling in love with this Jag...<3

2009-09-22T19:19:00.003-05:00

I've tried to resist...cuz ya know...shes not earned my trust yet. I've, perhaps mistakenly, thought of her as the incredibly beautiful, charming woman who I'll totally fall for who will promptly stab me in the neck. She is gaining my trust. Hell, I took her to Cincy and back and plenty of places since. And ya know what?? Despite my reservations, she is rock solid AND gorgeous. I'm starting to believe in her. I'm talking of course about my classic Jaguar XJ6. I've had an Audi 5000, a BMW 635 CSI, 2 VW's and 2 Saab 900's. Of that lot I've always loved the ole bulletproof Saab 900 Turbo convertible the most. I gave it to my son Derek when I bought the Jag, with much trepidation. I LOVED that Sabb 900...for real. I adored her. And she was so good to me. Everything you could want in a car she was.

I've always thought that Jaguar made some of the most sexy, beautiful cars in the world. But ya know...they just couldnt be trusted. You really really WANTED to love them...worship them. But *stab!!!* right in the neck. Ow. That really smarts. But NO!! Not MY beauty! Hell no...shes gorgeous, sexy AND reliable. So PISS OFF all you Jag haters. She is mine...and I'm beginning to feel that love...

She is possessed of the most comfortable seats that I have EVER sat in. Ever. The ride and motor are pure silk...smoooooth. Acres of lovely butterscotch leather surround me. And then theres that burled carpathian elm woodwork, Am I in a freakin ROLLS?? It damn near feels like it. The ultra-thin steering wheel and the elegant, slightly gear shifter are masterpieces. Its so easy to fall. Mmmmmmm....and she is just so damn sexy. 8)

Brawl of America- Day 3...This is IT!

2009-09-20T09:09:00.003-05:00

Now THATS more like it. 4-1. Yeahhhh...I like the sound of that...4-1. And, true to form, I gave the Madolls my blessing when I picked Deeetroit to topple them. You can all thank me later with a couple of shots of ice cold Jaeger Madison. I'm a cheap fix! Yeah, the good ole Madolls...ALWAYS goin opposite my pick. Some things never change. Before we get to Day 3's picks can I just go off on a tangent for a moment? Sacred City??? HELLO?? Are you even there?? WTF was THAT last night against Denver?? Are you kidding me? Are my eyes deceiving me? Cuz there is NO WAY you all went down to Denver 309-19 right?? I'm here rubbin my eyes in total disbelief. Yer SAC CITY!! Come on!! 309-19?? Gee...guess I woulda lost the over-under on THAT one! What the livin hell is going on in Sacramento these days? Look-DEN is good, I get that. But they're not THAT good.

Oh well...onto todays sure fire cant miss picks:

1. G Rag v the Minnies

G Rag has been something of a disappointment and something of a mystery. Can I just ask what has happened to this team?? They aren't this mediocre...they're NOT. But ya know the old saying...you are what yer record SAYS you are. And the skaters of Grand Raggidy?? Well....hmmmm. Theirs gotta be something goin on there that I'm not aware of because they are a much better team than they've shown lately. I am aware that injuries have played a part. At any rate its a safe bet to go all out on the Minnies in this one and they'll be out to impress their Homies in this final bout of the Tournament for them.

2. NStar v the Mighty Archies

This may well prove to be the closest, most exciting game of the day. And I think by now we've all seen how good those Northstar girls really are. I'm impressed-you're impressed. But today they will go down to the Mighty Archies. The Archies are just a bit more battle-tested than NStar and have a bit more experience under pressure. Yep...Archies will win a tight one. And dont be surprised if by this time next year the Arch Rival skaters are in the National Tournament. Oh...and Chanel? You kick ASS.

3. Tricky Cincy v Deeetroit

Well, I went off a bit on Sac City already so what the hell...I'll ask the question. Why isnt Deeetroit performing better this season? They're slide began last year but I really believe that Car City has a much better team than we've seen thus far. I'm totally serious...they are BETTER than this! Whats the reason for their recent decline? Deeetroit should always be at least a Top 10 team. I mean, they have one of the greatest Jammers in all of Derbydom...Racer McChaser. That Jammergirl is ridiculous. Awesome skillz!! LOVE her game. But she cant do it all by herself Deeetroit. I'm going with the Sadies in this one. oops...did I just say the "Sadies"?? I MEANT to say Tricky Cincy...really I did. Promise.

4. the Madolls v the CRUSHERS

Its all over. Its all been decided, before this Tournament even began. Windy kills all in their path with fierceness and mad talent. The Crushers will dominate. The Madolls will look promising early but its only a matter of time until they begin to get worn down by the crushing force of Windy. Their willpower will wither by the 2nd half and it will all be over. Cuz the Crushers only have 4 opponents in al the land to fear: the Goths, the Original Muthas, the Cheesesteaks and the Lucky Charms. For real. And I dont believe they're too damn frightened of those 4 teams really. WCR= North Central Champs!

Brawl of America-Day 2

2009-09-19T08:54:00.003-05:00

Yeah yeah...go ahead. Rub it in. I only went 2-2 yesterday although the Mighty Archies damn near caught up to Tricky Cincy in the last few minutes of what was an amazing bout. Oh if only. Then I woulda been a respectable 3-1. And Chanel woulda been smiling a lil bigger. I'm not gonna lie...2-2 SUCKS and I'm not happy about it. The ONE time I dont pick the Burns and they burn ME. Shit. Sorry C-town...ya know I WANTED to pick ya...didnt I say that?? Huh?? Yeah, I'm scrambling here. I did pick one mild upset tho...the Brewskis came thru! Well, I'm a gambler and sometimes ya just gotta go for it. But enuff about yesterday...on to todays action:

1. #26 NStar v #25 the Minnies

Ah yes...the battle of Minnesota. The well established and more experienced Minnies take on the upstart NStars, who may lack experience but have loads of skill and heart. I do believe that this bout will be a 4-5 point spread thru most of the game and who ends up in the penalty box the most will most likely lose. I gotta go NStar here. They played their asses off against Beer City yesterday and I just feel that they dont wanna go winless in their first Tournament. Dont be surprised if the Minnies pull this one out because its gonna be VERY close. Still...NStars.

2. #34 G Rag v #18 the Archies

G Rag really seemed overwhelmed and lackluster yesterday against those Burns and I dont really get why. YES the Burns played exceptional Derby but still...ya gotta wonder. After what I saw yesterday from both of these teams I predict the Archies in a landslide. They'll pull away early and never look back. And thats not the Fanboy in me talking either. For that matter if St L was goin up against Cincy again today I would STILL pick 'em. Sorry. The upside with the Archies is huge. And G Rag?? What the hell happened yesterday??

3. #36 the Burns v #32 Beer City

Yikes. This is the tuffest pick of the day...really. I've tortured myself on this predict and I just havent convinced myself that one team has any distinct advantage over the other. IF the Brewskis can play consistently the WHOLE bout and not get streaky then I hafta go with them. Yeah...I'm gonna lay my $$$ on the Brewskis here and I could easily get burned. but when in doubt just go with yer heart. Even if ya lose, well, ya went with yer heart so...<3 Brewski LOVE <3. Sorry Burns, ya know I've been pullin for ya all year. So dont kick me when I see ya several months from now against Race City 'kay??

4. #15 Tricky Cincy v #2 the Crushers

Cincy?? You know yer good...WE know yer good. So now that we've established that, it doesnt matter if Sadie has the game of her career it just wont be enuff today...not against THIS team. Chi-town will prove to be waaaay too much and should win comfortably. It wont be close after about 15 minutes.

5. #16 Deeetroit v #11 Madolls

Mad Rollin has a way of going opposite of my picks. All the time this happens...I pick em to win-they lose. I pick em to lose-they win. And so it goes. well I'm picking em to lose against the fiesty skaters of Deeetroit today. Which means of course, good news for the Madolls. Wait a minute...what am I thinkin?? Its soooo obvious...the Madolls will WIN!! Which is to say that they will lose. Uhhhhh wait a minute. Thats not right is it? Ummmm...no. Lay it out for Deeetroit. I'm serious. Sorry Madolls. I mean, congratulations!!

Well, Friday was one of those days when I just broke even. I mean, I was entertained and all, but the money just broke even. Be careful today laying big money on that Burns v Brewskis bout. Actually...just stay away from it. Go the safe route and bet the house on Windy. And let the warm feeling of winning envelop you as you go to the cash window with that WCR ticket. The Crushers will DOMINATE this Tournament. Just watch.

North Central Bout Predictions! The Brawl of America!!

2009-09-17T17:47:00.008-05:00

Hey...I know I've been fairly absent lately but its been a very ummmm..."interesting" summer. And I mean "interesting" as in the Chinese curse. Ya know...like "may you have an interesting" life". Uhhhh huh. SUUUURE. Uh, I gotta better idea...howzabout YOU have an "interesting" life. No more drama please...thank you. This summer had some high points too tho. Dont know why I'm always so compelled to rate my year according to how the summer went. At any rate, on to the predictions. The first 4 games:

1. #32 Beer City v # 26 NStars

I make no apologies...I'm a heartfelt fan of those skaters that hail from the land of the Brew. So it could just be my heart overwhelming my brain but I dont think so. I honestly believe that the Brewskis are gonna take this one. They have matured and play a more disciplined game than last year. This team has talent and theyve played some tuff teams the past couple of seasons. Now, dont get me wrong...I like Northstar...really. I hafta admit that I'm still a bit surpised with how good NStar really is.Who knew?? Well we all know now. Those NStar skaters have skill. Having said that I would also have to look at the fact that the Brewskis are more "battle tested". And ultimately I think that may prove the difference for Beer City. And I love Jammer Rejected Seoul...when shes on-shes ON.

2. #34 G Rag v #36 the Burns

I have been bragging on those Cleveland rollergirls for a while now and I like the direction that they have gone over the past year. For one thing, they really have a "fight to the end" attitude and a lot of desire. You would THINK that I would pick the Burns in this match up wouldn't you?? Welll...no. I cant quite explain it but I just have this gut instinct telling me that the skaters of Grand Rapids are gonna win this one somehow. I WANT to pick the Burns. I do. But for whatever reason I just dont "feel" it. BRRG fans can kick me in the shins if I'm wrong. But...uhhh...just one at a time okay? That shit kinda hurts. I really thought that this was gonna be a rebuilding year of sorts for the Grand Raggidy rollergirls. But their progress has been quick and they've surprised me with how solid they are.

3. #25 the Minnies v #2 the Crushers

The Crushers. WCR. Chi-town. Windy f'n CITY. They are mighty and they are strong. And they will make quick work in this one. And thats no insult to the Minnesota skaters...really. I dont think that theres more than 4 teams in the world that can beat Windy. Seriously. So dont feel bad Minnies...the Crushers are BRUTAL. They have everything. Speed, power, tuffness, smarts...ya know, the total package. The real shit. I will also say right now that the Windy Girls will win this whole tournament. Ya know that I would LOVE to pick an upset and be all bold, but I'm pickin THIS favorite. Cause I'm not stupid. Ya bet to win. And WCR have IT.

4. #18 the Archies (*swoon*) v #15 Tricky Cincy

Its all come to this in a way for the Archies.The past 2 years that is. They are HERE...in the Tournament. How awesome is that? You cant find a more likeable team in Derby than Arch Rivals. You can find teams AS likeable but none MORE. St L has a very charismatic team and have improved steadily over the past year. And ya know what? I have no problem picking the Archies in this one. Of course you also know that this will be a tooth and nail battle the whole way. Trips to the Sin Bin could spell all the difference in this one. I expect a very close bout to the end and Cincy DOES have much more experience. And they DO have the intense and ultra-competitive Sadistic Sadie. What a freakin player she is too. So much talent. But if the Archies contain her?? What then? That must be goal #1 for ARRG. CONTAIN SADIE. Yer not gonna stop her, I can tell ya that! Anyway...yeah...Archies...in a close one. Win it for Chokehold Chanel...#5!! You will always RULE Chanel. Best of luck to you!

I'll actually try to update as the Tournament proceeds, really I will. No...really, I will. Ya know, if "interesting" shit doesnt happen. If life doesnt kick me in the junk. Cause if I've realized anything this summer its that you really never know how sideways life can go. And then sideways again shortly after. And in the end...ya just gotta laugh. Thats what I do.

Naptowns 2009-10 Schedule...a Few Thoughts

2009-09-06T15:47:00.003-05:00

Naptown has just released their schedule for the upcoming season and I'm both excited and disappointed. I'm gonna run thru the whole Home season real quick-like...so hang on:

1- Nap v the Hearts

I actually was privy to this match up a few months ago when I heard that the bout was a go at the Bleeding Heartland v Hard Knox game in Bloomington. I've been DYING to see these 2 teams play and the time is right to start up a new rivalry that could potentially match the intensity of NRG v F Dubb or Tricky Cincy. The Hearts are ranked #66/FTS because of low participation. B'ton IS a WFTDA team now and they have an amazing Jammer named KaKa Caliente who totally impressed me both times I've seen her play. She has "it"...that fire and skill that seperates the merely good from the great. It will be interesting to see how she fares against tuffer competition. Currently the Hearts are 1-1 overall with a win against Hard Knox and a loss against G Rag. HK are ranked at #53, so that was a real nice win for them a few months ago. This is gonna be a cant miss bout and I'm real excited to see that these 2 teams are finally gonna get it on. Oh and I gotta mention another very nice Jammer for the Hearts named Bad Mudda Trucka. When I last saw her she was injured but I would think that she'll be ready to go for the Nap bout.

2- Nap v the Burns

First thing I'm gonna say about this bout is that Burning River has come a very very long way since we last saw them getting beaten handily by Naptown here in Indy. And I know their overall record is an unimpressive 3-9 but dont be fooled. The Burns have a very good team and they have gotten progressively better over the past 1-1/2 years. They defeated F Dubb along the way 78-70 but FW got even a few months later. I'm sure that the Cleveland skaters are gonna give Race City all they can handle in this bout and its gonna be much more competitive than the last time they met. Some names you may remember from the Burns roster: Milfinator (if she rejoins the travel team), Ivanna Destroya, Rogue Cheddar and Coco Sparx.

3- Nap v the Derbies

You all know that I'll be supporting our Homegirls and all but I hafta admit that I'm a Derby City fan. They just have a real likeable team and thats important to me. I finally got a chance to see the Derbies play last year when they took on the Hearts in Bloomington. Even tho they lost, largely because of a questionable call, the Derby C skaters were a blast at the afterparty and I can still see some of them leaping up on stage and dancing with hula hoops and laughing. I have no idea what Louisvilles record is but they've played mostly "Division 2" level teams. The Naptown girls should win this one from experience alone but you can bet yer ass that we'll all have a blast at the afterparty!! The Derbies are just cool.

4- Nap v Memphis

Ya know how I was saying that the Burns had a somewhat deceptive record? Well so does Memphis, the opposite way. Memphis' record overall is 5-2 but they lost against the only 2 serious teams that they've faced...Nash and the ATL. They'll be taking a BIG step up when the face off against Indy so it will be interesting to see how this one goes. Yeah...I know that Memphis is ranked #27 and Nap is at #39 right now but the NRG girls have been waaaay more battle tested against major teams. Memphis?? Uhhhh...not as much. So much for rankings eh?

5- Nap v the Sioux

Oh yes...the Fighting Sioux. Sioux Falls have a very nice team and I was suitably impressed when I got the chance to see them in action at the last Fall Brawl. They are largely unnoticed but everyone better be ready for a real nail-biter when this bout goes down. The Sioux will lay it all on the line and play with a lot of energy and spirit.They are ranked #41 with a record of 2-2. They BARELY lost to Ohio 88-85 and that one really could have gone SF's way. Win or lose, I'm quite sure that the NapFans will find themselves impressed with this under-rated team from the Dakotas.

6- Nap v OH

Yeah...someday a clever nick will emerge for those Ohio skaters but not today. Ohio is 8-16 and ranked #36 but did ya know that they have gone 6-1 this summer? Oh my. Ohio have found themselves and are finally rising up in the rankings and have been very determined lately. You all remember this team from last season when they JUST did win against Race City. Remember Drrty Girl,Phoenix Bunz and Chewblocka? And I better see Kitty Liqourbottom on the roster this time or some heads are gonna roll!! Shes so cool. Hopefully we'll get to see Jaden Blayze too. Ohio has a team that ranks very high on the likeability scale and thats always good. So expect a dynamite afterparty regardless of who emerges victorious. And that Ohio Coach is awesome too. Intense.

I was so excited to see Bloomington on the Home schedule. And up and coming teams like the Sioux and the Burns. But no Cincy? No F Dubb? Wheres that fiery rivalry bout? And from a purely personal perspective it would have been awesome to see one of my faves like Beer City or the Archies. Or how about a BIG step up? Ya know...Deeeetroit. Madolls or G Rag? I know that schedules can be very tricky...timing, opportunity and scheduling conflicts all play a part. As well as a bit of politics. At any rate, the schedule is set and it should be a very entertaining season as the NRG skaters debut their new home...the Pepsi Coliseum. I hope that it doesnt seem too cavernous in there and that the sense of intimacy and comeraderie isnt affected. However it was just time to take another step up and see if this loud and spirited Naptown crowd can grow....I can understand that. It should still be as nice and bright as the Toyota Pavilion (photographers rejoice!!). Get ready NapFans...NRG4LIFE!

European Champions...the London Rollergirls!!! I <3 U LRG!

2009-07-29T18:24:00.010-05:00

It became painfully obvious , as we all suspected, that the London Rollergirls were the class of European Roller Derby witnessing their performance during the Roll Britannia Tournament. After dismantling Team East Angrier by a score differential of +190 the London skaters nailed Stuttgart by a + 131 advantage. And then in the semi-finals the Mighty LRG completely dominated Glasgow 225-11. For those keeping differential score thats a +214 in favor of London Brawling.Uh huh. Complete and confident, the London team rolled thru the competition like a quad-fitted steamroller and never gave their opponents a chance to catch their breath.

And the Championship against Birmingham was never in doubt either as the LRG ran away with the Euro-Crown by 333 points, holding the Birmingham offense to a scant 13 points. Now THATS defense. Err..and offense too. And depth...and teamwork...and coaching...and discipline. What an incredible performance the London Girls put on for the Derby World to see. There can be no doubt that those Londoners are the absolute class of Euro-Derby and I have a feeling that they wil dominate for some time to come. They are, after all, the UK Muthas. Yeahhhh...the UK Muthas. That has a nice ring to it doncha think?

I would personally rank them in the top 30 worldwide. I really think so. I know, I know, they havent played any US teams yet so how can I say that?? Lets just chalk it up to a gut instinct thing okay?? I cant sit here and present statistical evidence of their place in the rankings up against American competition but I CAN give witness to what I saw in the Roll Britannia Tournament and what I saw was utter dominance. What I saw was a team that I am totally convinced could take on a whole lotta US teams and give 'em a serious fight. Yeahhhh...I see them somewhere around 27th overall in the world. You dont think that the LRG would give many WFTDA teams fits?? I would beg to differ. I know what this team is capable of and they will only get better as the competition around them improves. I could see London giving teams like the ATL or the Doms a serious fight. And thats no diss of the ATL or the Doms at all...just a major compliment to the UK Muthas.

Of course I know this all remains to be seen and its a matter of conjecture and debate. I have to say that I could see an East Coast road trip for the Londoners next year. Unfortunately you know what that means...the Carols, the Beans, the Lucky Charms, the Cheesesteaks or *gasp* the Goths (nooooo!!!). And I fear that with such top-notch competition the LRG skaters could get blown out and lose some confidence and the impression of Euro-Derby could get murkier instead of clearer. I would much rather see the Brawlers taking on teams more at their level of competitiveness. Ya know...the Burns, the District, the ATL, Ohio...that kinda team. A team that would offer up a real battle,but one that would be a competitive bout. I dont really wanna see LRG get smoked by the Beans or the Belles ya know?

Overall I would say that the Brawlers have impressed everyone thats been paying attention and they are amazing. I'm sure that the quality of UK Derby will only improve as experience starts paying off and the crowds start getting bigger. Perhaps the Roll Britannia Tournament will in fact be the annual equivalent of the European Championship.

London Brawling from the underworld!
Run for cover all you boys and girls!

09 Kamikaze Kitten (Captain)
13 Correctional Felicity (vice captain)
ICU2 Ena Flash
04 Fox Sake
08 Slice Andice
11 Viva KniEvil
17 Sky Rockit
19 Lola Vulkano
B52 Axis of Evon
73 Bette Noir
75 Metallikat
DFF#77 Hula Gunn
85 Poison Arrow
U96 Nuke-Leah
138 El Visious
.357 Raw Heidi
410 Missyle Elliott
900cc Ninjette
931 The Bexorcist
1984 Grievous Bodily Charm

*** o4 Fox Sake fans of the world unite!!! <3

Too soon to predict but I will anyway...the Goths defend their crown

2009-07-28T18:55:00.005-05:00

Yeah...the Original Muthas looked intense for the first 45 minutes of their already legendary EPIC clash against the WFTDA Champs the Mighty Gothic Wall of Complete and Utter Dominance. The Gothic Queens of the Universe eventually wore down and frustrated the Muthas, forcing them to the Sin Bin in the most critical moments of the game and then the inevitable began. The Queens pulled away...and never looked back. They are the Queens of the Derby-verse and no one...and I mean NO ONE is gonna steal their crown this year. They are STILL the unmoveable object in a Universe they currently own.

Name one Jammer tandem beter than Suzy and Bonnie...I know you can't. They are both the epitomy of what a Jammer is supposed to be. They are the prototypes that can be held up as the role model for other aspiring ass kickers, thats for sure. The duo that comes to mind for me by way of comparison is, of course, KC's Snot Rocket and Xcelerator. Now THAT was a damn Jammer one-two punch that would leave you gasping and pissed. Because of their dominance and clockwork point scoring the Warriors won a Championship. Not that their supporting cast were slackers. That was an excellent team. But since Snot and X?? No one.

The only team at this point that could truly threaten the Goths are those Belles of Cheesesteak City. And they've got some serious Jammer talent as we saw last weekend against Windy. Hell...they've got serious talent all over their squad. Teflon Donna tore it up when the Phils needed her most and she played like a Champion, as did the whole team. Still...they went to the closing seconds of the bout with the Crushers and really, I have to say to myself, "If they had big big trouble against Chi-town than how will they look up against the Tank of Hellish Gothic Destruction??". Its just not very likely that ANYONE has an answer for these Ruling Goths. No one. And thats why I will predict here and now that the Gothic Queens will defend their Championship this year. Because, ya know, anything can happen...but I'm a bettin' man ya understand. And I make $$$ all day long on the Goths. Get the f*ck outta their way. They are the Gothic Derby Machine.

And here are your WFTDA Champions:

Ana Bollocks 00 // Barbara Ambush 1600 // Bonnie Thunders 340 // Brigitte Barhot Swingin' 60s // Donna Matrix 2 // Fisti Cuffs 241 // Ginger Snap 80 // Hyper Lynx 404 // Kandy Kakes Perfect 10 // Papierschnitt 8 1/2 x 11 // Polly Gone 222 // Surly Temple 99 // Suzy Hotrod 55 // Sweet Sherry Pie 201

Mozilla Firefox 3.5 Really Pissed Me Off...

2009-07-26T15:52:00.003-05:00

In hindsight perhaps not the greatest move, I stupidly "upgraded" to Mozilla Firefox 3.5...and quickly regretted it. After installing the "upgrade" I noticed my toolbar was jacked up. And then I realized that I had no right click function whatsoever. Nada...nothing. Grrrrrr....

I went to my desktop and of course everything was fine. Then I begrudgingly got on Internet Explorer, which I despise, and my right click function was just fine there too. Too bad I dont remember 16 passwords so that I can actually use IE. *sigh* I NEVER use IE for anything ever. It just moves too damn slowly...among other irritating personality traits. I need SPEED dammit!!! Now! Now! Now!!

And then after fixing the toolbar and re-installing 3.5 2x (it locked up the first time) I did manage to get my right click back. Then I was REALLY pissed when I found that Realplayer SP and Firefox 3.5 are mortal enemies and just plain HATE each other. So yeah...no damn video downloading on Youtube whatsoever. Now THAT pissed me off. I searched everywhere for a solution until I found that if you re-install Realplayer SP that they will cooperate w/each other. This is a very very recent development however. Those that were first to "upgrade" to 3.5 were just left scrambling. Idiots. Howzabout taking a little more time Mozilla and get your upgrade actually working before unleashing it. An annoying couple of hours were spent screwing w/this nonsense last night and this morning. At one point I gave up on 3.5 entirely and decided to re-install 3.1

Yeah...easier said than done. At 2AM, in a semi-conscious state while still sipping Hypnotiq, I blundered into Mozilla's archives and was able to figure out how to install it from there. And all the way at the tail end of the installation...ya know, when you click "finish"?...everything just locked up. G*d d*mn s*nuva b*tchin #@*!!!

Sorry...I needed to vent. What does this actually have to do with the Greatest Womens Sport in the world?? Uhhhh...well...*shrugs* Anger? Attitude? A "Dont mess with me or I'll put a quad right into yer kneecaps" kinda spunk??

Mozilla Firefox 3.5****Dont waste my time

An Update from Tequila Mockingbird

2009-07-25T08:25:00.003-05:00

Hey Folks,
I am still kicking in Oklahoma City. The Oklahoma City derby girls have been a great help both with fundraisers and donating their time. A large part of my life has been fighting with Medicaid and doing paperwork, since it turns out that Chicago's Medicaid program is much better than here; so, in a year, we plan to return to Chicago and may be just spending the worst of the winters in Oklahoma. I'm also hoping to return to work next year as a lawyer at least part time. Dan and I have been able see several of the derby games here, which were fantastic. I spend a lot of time working out, sitting on the porch reading, and playing with our pets.
I have walking therapy once or twice a week on the Lokamat, a robotic walking machine that exists in only a handful of cities across the country. Fortunately, two of those are in Chicago and Oklahoma City. I have been involved with the Oklahoma University Medical Center, Jim Thorpe Rehabilitation, and various Medicaid home therapies. I am working on saving up for a recumbent cross training machine, and a stander, so I can do more therapy on my own; I would also eventually like to spend more time doing aqua-therapy. The rest of my workout is at home for now. Now that I am approaching the second anniversary of my injury, my strength and energy level have increased dramatically. My lungs in particular have regained some of their former strength. I can walk three hundred feet on a platform walker with very little assistance and over half an hour on the treadmill with a harness. With the help of Craig "Moose Ondaluce" Alleman, here in OKC, I am putting together a video of some of my progress. Thank all of you for your support. I will keep you updated as best I can.
Special thanks to The Oklahoma Victory Dolls, Rollercon, all contributors, and Dakota Prosch.

Donations:
www.HelpTequila. com
My Paypal account is tahirahjohnson@ hotmail.com

Send checks made out to Tahirah Johnson:
3309 NW 24th St.
Oklahoma City, OK 73107

or directly to my bank:
North Community Bank c/o Tahirah Johnson
Attn: Amber Barnhill
1555 N. Damen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60622

Love you Tequila!!! <3 <3 <3

And a big time shout out to OKC Rollergirls...thank you for being awesome!

__._,_.__

Roll Britannia Official results or 04 Fox Sake I love UK Derby!

2009-07-19T14:52:00.007-05:00

Roll Britannia Day Two

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 13
London London Brawling 346

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 70
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 120

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 11
London London Brawling 225

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 123
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 109

Roll Britannia Day One

Roll Britannia

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 137
Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 46

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 46
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 137

Central City Central City Rollergirls 72
Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 81

Leeds Leeds Roller Dolls 93
Berlin Berlin Bombshells 103

Pickup Teams Team East Angrier 11
London London Brawling 202

Rainy City Rainy City Roller Girls 29
Glasgow Irn Bruisers 88

Pickup Teams Royal Rebel Rollers 45
Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 124

Berlin Berlin Bombshells 89
Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 112

Stuttgart Valley Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 10
London London Brawling 141

Glasgow Irn Bruisers 59
Rockin' Rollers London Rockin' Rollers 48

Auld Reekie Auld Reekie Roller Girls 94
Central City Central City Rollergirls 74

Birmingham Blitz Brummie Bombshells 101
Leeds Roller Dolls 59

It looks like Roll Britannia #1 was a real success and hopefully this will be an annual event that Derby fans worldwide can look forward to. I expect Derby to continue to catch fire in Germany and wouldnt be the least bit surprised to see a few more German teams in the mix the next couple of years. And maybe a Scandinavian team? Irish? European Roller Derby will continue to grow I'm sure and some day you know that there will be a World Championship. Perhaps it could be held every 4 years like the World Cup or the Olympics. That would be too cool!! Love to the 2009 Roll Britannia Champions LONDON Rollergirls!! Love you UK Derby girls and a special shout out to 04 Fox Sake...<3>

ECE Bout Predictions Here!! or Damn its Gonna be a Busy Ass Weekend

2009-06-25T17:27:00.004-05:00

Okay...predictions galore! The rankings are current Flat Track Stat rankings, NOT WFTDA. Cause thats how I roll people. You know that.

#7 Lucky Charms v #5 the Rats
I gotta go Charms in this one and its not just a matter of being a Charmfan okay? I have seen evidence that the Rats have stabilized and are certainly a force but when I check in with the 'ole gut instinct I just have to go Charms in this one. Having said that, I expect this to be an excellent, closely contested bout. I simply have been more impressed with Lovely Charm thus far than Rat C. Its just that simple. Flo and Joy are my kinda Rollergirls...mentally tuff and skillz to spare.

#31 F Dubb v #35 G Rag
Last year this time there is no way in hell that I woulda picked FW. NO f'n WAY. This year?? I would have SOOO picked F Dubb. Note that I said WOULD have. That was until Kitty retired and, more concerning, Pushycat got injured. No Pushy? No victory for FW. Pushy skating? An F Dubb victory. For real. She really is that critical to the success of the FW team. Soooo, yeah, G Rag gets a lucky break and wins this one. FW NEEDS Pushycat in the worst way. And really its too bad because the Dubb has really put together an impressive season.

#54 the Conn v #56 the Dominatrixes
The Conn did impress me last week and they are a lot better than some might realize but I just cant pick 'em yet over Dominion. Yes, the Dom have had a ruff stretch recently and there is no denying that. But I just am not ready to count them out. The Dom skaters start righting the ship THIS weekend. Ya read it here first. Put up the money Rollerheads.

#43 the Burns v #46 the District
DC have one of those teams that are better than rollerheads know. But I have been very impressed with the Burns over the course of the last year and they have steadily progressed to the point where I KNOW they will win this one. They have become a fairly well-rounded team and the talent is there to surprise some people this weekend. The city of the Burning River is gonna be raising some frothy brews to the victory of their Rollergirls. But those Capitol City girls will be gamers. Believe me. This should be a very entertaining and interesting game.

#26 the ATL v #67 Montreal
Nah...havent come up with a clever nick for those Montreal gals yet, but this bout will be all ATL. Bet the house on this bout because its a lock. Flat out. The ATL just have waaaay more bout experience and its gonna show. Now prove me wrong MON...

#27 the Minnies v #45 Brewskis
And here's where I EARN my $$$. I am throwing the rankings right out the proverbial window and going Brewskis in this bout. It surely seems like an upset pick and all but I am here to tell ya that the Beer City girls have turned the corner and the Minnies?? Ummmm...not so much. Look, I really do like MIN, I do. Believe me. But they just seem to have underperformed in recent memory and its gotta be time for those Brewskis to rise up and grab some glory for themselves. Ya hear that Grace? Hell yeah...Brewskis baby! This could be the year when they turn some heads. Of course, whadda I know?? I adore the Brewskis win OR lose.

#10 Mad Dolls v #13 Warriors
In this bout ya gotta go with those Milkmaids ya know? The KC squad has been rebounding from some critical roster losses this year and I hafta say that they have been much better than I figured they would be. But no. The Mad Doll Milkmaids shall rise and conquer. And I have heard that if they win then they will retire those "uni's" forever. Well...thats what I'VE heard. And my dark alley sources are always legit. Sorta kinda.

#18 Tricky Cincy v #2 Crushers
Come on...ya KNOW I'm not betting any of my oh so precious cashish on any upsets over Windy. No way. Unless yer team goes by the name of the Goths or the Cheesesteaks I am not even gonna go there. The Crushers will once again prove why they are the class of midwestern Derby. And they will once again prove why I have nicked them the CRUSHERS. Sorry Sadie. Its gonna be a very ruff bout for the Tricky squad.

#8 the Beans v #12 the Carols
This is without a doubt the tuffest pick of al Saturdays bouts. These 2 teams are just so damn evenly matched that I could easily make a case for either team. And thats considering the fact that I am in the Princess America Cult of True Believers. Join us...become one of the chosen. She truly has the awesome blessings of the Derby Goddess. But my infamous gut instinct has whispered in my ear and it has said in its quiet but convincing voice, "Go with the Beans...it's their game". So...uhhhh...I'm listening to that quiet 'lil voice. Beans. Go with the Boston squad. Because Pussy Venom said so. And ya really dont wanna piss her off.

#15 Deeeeetroit v #7 Lovely Charm
I have to believe that Car City will give the Charms quite a battle but when all is said and done the Lovely Charm skaters have been a better team all year long. Why has Deeetroit slipped? I mean, they do have one of the best damn Jammers in the country. Yeah...Racer freakin McChaser totally KILLS. But so far I just havent seen the fight and desire that used to be their identity. Any D-Town fans wanna weigh in? Because in my mind they are a much better team than they have shown thus far this year. Still gotta love that Racer tho. But I gotta love those Charms a little more.

#5 the Rats v #4 the Cheesesteaks
I will say right here and now that I am a believer in Philly. They have speed, strength, depth, willpower and skillz in abundance! Liberty City is one of only 2 teams in all the land that I honestly believe could upset the Mighty Goths in a Derby bloodbath. I just love that Philly squad. And whats even cooler is that they just have so much personality. They are a very colorful squad of skaters that are a real blast to watch in action. Have I made it abundantly clear yet how much I like this Cheesesteak team?? Philly over the Rats. Sorry Seattle. I have ya goin 0-2 on Saturday. My how times have changed...

I'll have the Sunday picks for all of you Derby gambling addicts by Saturday night. I mean, I know how much is riding on these picks. It may mean the difference between hot dogs or filet mignon. Not that I personally eat any of that stuff. Nahhhh. For me its more a case of having a six of Natty Lite or a huge bottle of my beloved (some say hallucinagenic) Jaeger. And...uhhhh...I'm waaaay more in the mood for an ecstatic Jaeger buzz. Know what I mean? Natty Lite gives me a headache.

Roll Britannia!!! The 1st Euro Derby Tournament

2009-06-22T16:25:00.008-05:00

Coming very soon is the Roll Britannia European Tournament and as I have become more fascinated with the UK Derby scene I want Rollerheads everywhere to be aware of this historic moment. The Tournament will be in London at the Earls Court !! Unreal. I really hope that there is an awesome turnout because all these teams deserve to be supported and cheered on. The Berlin and Stuttgart teams will be playing in the Tournament too and that is just more evidence of the growing Roller Derby phenomenon! I love it!! Check out the teams that will be in attendance:

Participating leagues are
Auld Reekie Rollergirls (Edinburgh, Scotland)
Berlin Bombshells (Berlin, Germany)
Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames (Birmingham, England)
Central City Rollergirls (Birmingham, England)
Glasgow Roller Girls (Glasgow, Scotland)
Leeds Roller Dolls (Leeds, England)
London Rockin Rollers (London, England)
London Rollergirls (London, England)
Rainy City Rollergirls (Manchester, England)
Royal Rebel Rollers (mixed team of Middlesborough Milk Rollers, Rebellion Rollergirls, and Windsor Rollergirls (Middlesborough, Kempston, & Windsor, England))
Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz (Stuttgart, Germany)
Team East Angrier (mixed team of Romsey Town Rollerbillies and Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls (Cambridge & Bedford, England))

Is that killer or what?! The London Rollergirls are busting their asses to build support and fans for the UK Derby scene and I wish them all the best. I will keep everyone abreast of the results from this tournament and I'm sure I'll have a few opinions too. Stay tuned...

In the meantime go here for more info and support UK Roller Derby!!

http://rollbritannia.com/index.php

The Unreal Texas Triple-header or Have the Muthas Gone Mental??

2009-06-18T20:50:00.002-05:00

Ya really do have to admire the guts that it takes to do what the Original Muthas are gonna be doing starting Friday. Takin on the Mighty Goths would be more than enuff but no...thats not enuff. The OM's just gotta get a few cold brews, some carbs, a little late-nightt dancing and some beauty sleep. Then its up and at 'em w/a double-header against the likes of Lovely Charm AND the Beans! Whoa.Thats whack. Must be nice having Derby superpowers like the Muthas. However, there is just no damn way that I'm gonna even THINK about the NYC Hellish Tank of Destruction goin down to TX. Sorry. Cant get my mind around it. Oh, it'll be a closer bout than LAST year for sure, but in the end I cant see the Goths losing. Oh, I know that they will sooooome day. Just not FRIday. Even without Beyonslay. Rumor has it that the Gothic Queens will be wearing OKVD armbands for the bout (I kid, I kid).

Which leaves the 2 excellent teams that TX will face on Saturday. First up...the Lucky Charms. And this is the really difficult pick for me. My heart shouts, "CHARMS"! But there's a lil whisper in the back of my head sayin', "Ya better bet Teeeexas". Ya know that the Muthas will be pissed and out for blood but I'm going with my heart in this one: Charms in a 1-4 point squeeker.

Which would leave 0-2 TX tired, worn, drained and REALLY pissed off. At which point they just go OFF on the Beans. The Derby Goddess just cant have her TX skaters goin 0-3 ya know. Nope. She's gonna charge them with sacred Derby energies heretofore unknown. They become all light and sparkly and there's a visible blueish glow that envelops all the Muthas. And they just go OFF. BOS plays it with heart and tuffness but the Goddess-chosen TX wins one in a knock down, rough n tumble kinda bout.

Of course, ya never know with the Originals. Thats the thing. They are fully capable of going 2-1 this weekend. Hell, it wouldnt shock anybody. Yes, I'm covering my ass because I have seen what TX is capable of. But are they still the blueprint?? The Gothic Queens of the Derby Universe may have something to say about that. My money's on them. They're making me rich.

-VicDolls r cool

I Told Ya I Play Favorites!! My 5 (6?) Favorite Teams

2009-06-16T17:34:00.012-05:00

There are scores of Derby teams that I admire and even more skaters that I'm crazy about but if I were to list my Top 5 Derby squads then it would look precisely like this:

1. Naptown Rollergirls (Race City/ the Nap)

Now come on. You KNEW I wasnt really gonna slot any other team at #1 in my heart now didja? You all know better than that. Lets see...I live in Indy, these are my beloved Homegirls, I personally know every player on the team and after all they are the reason that I fell for Flat Track Derby in the first place. So yeah, its Naptown way, way on top and everyone else down the list a ways. I AM a Race City guy and I love, no, I LOOOVE this team. They are a class organisation and run their bouts with total professionalism (considering that this is, after all, an Amateur sport). They have an awesome venue and have a lot of involvement in their community. If you EVER come to Indy you must see a Nap bout. you wont believe tha crazy ass crowd that they draw...its EPIC. Just ask any team that has played here. And then there's the skaters. The most down-to-earth, friendly and open skaters you could ever meet. Its so damn easy to love this team. And they have the Angel of Naptown too. Coolest Rollergirl ever. 8)

WFTDA Record: 6-5 FTS #38

2. and 3. Yep. I'm cheatin already. So what? I cant choose between these 2 teams...I adore them both and I make no appy loggy's okay? Just get over it man! I would sooner cut off an opposable thumb than decide who would be #2 between...

Brew City (the Brewskis/ Beer City) or the Arch Rivals (the Archies)

Brewskis:
I first met this team when they played here in Indy and then later, havin fallen madly in love with them all, I caught them against Ft Wayne. Milwaukee has been blessed with one of the coolest, friendliest, most likeable squad of Rollergirls around. Where do I even start? Howzabout Rejected Seoul? Or Grace Killy? Or Romaniac? Or Coach Swingwreck? And this team has a great sense of humor and couldnt be more fun to Afterparty with. Damn I wish they were geographically closer.I would never miss a bout. I love you Beer City girls! I'm a fan for life.

WFTDA Record- 4-5 FTS # 39

Archies:
I first saw these skaters at Fall Brawl '08 when they shocked everyone by winning the Tournament with class, grace and style. They've also been blessed with two of the coolest Coaches ever. I was immediately impressed with their heart and spirit. The Archies also have a Jammer that RULES named Chokehold Chanel. I asked her hand in marriage but dammit I was too late. Yeah...she's married. Chanel is one of the coolest Rollergirls I've ever met or seen in action and she totally has everything you could ever want in a Jammer. I would put her right in the Top 10 Jammers without hesitation, but of course I am not the most objective source in Derbydom ya know. We're talkin total love here okay? Yeah...sigh...CHANEL. Even the sound of her name...
Okay, I'm snapping out of it okay?! How couldja just let me go on like that? This is turnin into a love letter. But not only does ARRG have the lovely Chanel but they also have Artemischief, The Educator, Eli Wallop and Davey Blockit. Awesome team and great people. Like the Beer City gang, you couldnt have a nicer squad to party with when the bout is over regardless of who won or lost. I've already worn out my Archies tee. I really really wanna see that Archies v F Dubb bout August 1st. Please let it happen o great Derby Goddess...this may be Chanels last season ( NOOOOOOOO!!). And ya know whats really cool? They have never once given me shit for nicknaming them the Archies. Love you St Louis skaters!

WFTDA Record: 5-5 FTS #19

3. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls ( The Rocks/ the Killer Rocks)

Damn straight Rocky Mountain!! You KNEW that already Frida...total Derby love to the Rocks. I soooo wish that Denver was...uhhh...way closer. Thats a hellride on the bike ya know? I started watching footage of this team nearly 2 years ago and was totally blown away by the way they play the game. It just doesnt matter what the hell the score is, when yer talking about playin it out 110% to the final Jam, you couldnt get any better than these Rollergirls. Period. Heart, fight and toughness thru and thru...thats the Killer Rocks. If I lived anywhere even remotely close to DEN I would have seen these girls in action live by now. I cant wait to see how they do at the Western Regionals this year. I have a feeling that they just may sneak up on a few teams and punch 'em right in the mouth! You have been warned. Plus. I mean, besides the incomparable Frida Beater this team also has Pinky 500, Winona Fighter and She Who Cannot Be Named...what the hell do ya want?! Believe me, this team KILLS. Totally likeable too so that helps.

WFTDA Record: 18-14 FTS #21

4. Charm City ( Lovely Charm/ the Lucky Charms)

Aaaahhh yes. Lovely Charm, a favorite for damn sure. And ya wanna know the truth?? I have never, and I mean EVER rooted for a team from Baltimore. I'm a Colts guy...INDIANAPOLIS Colts that is. I cant get into the Orioles or Goddess forbid, the Ravens. Yick. But Lovely Charm?? I adore them. Cant really explain it or make any sense of it but these girls won me over some time ago. Hell, they even made me want to set foot in Baltimore (wearin my Peyton jersey 'natch) just so I could see 'em playing live. The Lucky Charms are such a cool, interesting team and the more of their bout footage that I see the more impressed I am with their skill and tenacity. They are fully capable of bumping off any top ranked team at any time. They are flat-out DANGEROUS. I mean, after all, we're talkin about a team that has Flo freakin' Shizzle, Rosie the Rioter and Cheeta Torpedo. How cool is that?? Charm City...warriors. Total grade-A Warriors.

WFTDA Record: 18-8 (!) FTS #7

5. Providence (The Prov/ the Lil Team That Could)

I cant help it, I am so into this team. I ALWAYS pull for them. I dubbed them "The Lil Team That Could" because of their potential giant-killer status. The reasons why I so dig this team are a bit vague but for some reason, despite their spotty record, I just see a lot to admire with Prov. Even when the Prov is down and out in a bout they never give up. There's a whole lotta fight in this lil team from Rhode Island. The chances of me being able to see an actual live bout are a little remote but hey, ya never know. Maybe next year they could take on Tricky Cincy or Windy. That would be a realistic drving distance. Its within the realm of possibility...it could happen. This is a team that has a miracle up their sleeve, I can just FEEL it. And if they get in, this Lil Team That Could may surprise a few folks at the Eastern Regionals too. I have such faith in this team, such outright BELIEF in these girls that nothing they do could shock me. Believe in the Prov. Thats all I'm sayin'. I just love an underdog and Providence is my favorite underdog. No doubt. Come on PROV!! Its time for yer miracle run...

WFTDA Record: 7-13 ( I know, I know) FTS #32

Honorable Mentions: Philly, Derby City, Angel City, Hammer City, Dixie, Circle City (non- WFTDA) and the Cherry Bombs (TXRD) You all kick ass!

Nap v Ohio Bout Recap or These Bittersweet Emotions

2009-06-14T22:53:00.009-05:00

Bittersweet. Thats how it felt to me last Saturday nite. I have come to really dread the last NRG home bout of the season. Seeing Derby becomes a "road trip" situation after that and the juggling and expense that comes with said road trips. Hey, I'm always lookin for a feeble excuse to ride somewhere on 2 wheels so Derby provides more than an excuse. But its a hit n miss situation at best, know what I mean? So yeah...the last home game of the season. *Sigh*. What I really miss most when the game is over is the sense of community and comraderie that exists here in the Town of the Nap. And then theres the loss of veteran players that is an inevitability this year. Have we seen the last home game of Touretta? J Roller? Sweet C? ACE??! It has become abundantly clear that the Chosen One, Jane Ire is now retiring. Now that's enough to cause some pause right there right? No more Jane??! Can you imagine that? Like I said...*sigh*. And theres other changes going on that are still to come that cause me bittersweet emotions. I wanna say this tho...Jane, you are one of a kind and we are all SO gonna miss seeing you out on that rink scoring points and handling pressure with poise and class. And thats to say nothing of the instantly recognizable and unique skating style of the one and only Jane Ire! Yeah...you will be missed out on that track but I'm sure we'll catch you at the games sitting in the suicides. Or perhaps serving the league in some support role? I just KNOW how much Jane loves Derby and and theres no way that she wont be at bouts all over the place.

Now on to the Bout:

My day started with attending a motorcycle swap meet. And I got an awesome deal on some much-needed fresh tires for Elvira and had them on the rims in about 45 minutes. What a freakin difference new rubber makes! Anyway I headed over to the Fairgrounds and saw the NapFan gang out front partying and getting pumped up for some Race City Derby. I had a quick drink offa that "Busty Sanchez" flask (thanx Nay!) and headed in. I noticed straight away that there was no Ohio merch table set up and indeed it wasnt going to happen. So no Ohio XL tee for me...bummer. And then I went right over to the Ohio Rollergirl bench and began chatting with Foxy Force. You all know what my first question would be by now: "Where in the hell is Kitty??". Ummmm...she couldnt make it. See my previous post for more on that crushing blow. That sucked. After I asked, Foxy was like, "Are you HIM?". Wow, my reputation precedes me. *Blush* Yes, I am the resident Kitty Liquorbottom supporter here in Race City! Oh well.

I started off sitting in the suicides for the Gang Green v Belles bout but moved over to the side of the NRG bench so I could just stand up and spare myself the suicide seat yoga position for a full 2 bouts. Its cool to be by the bench because I catch some interesting minutia that I usually wouldnt get to see otherwise. Got some fairly nice pix from that location also. By the way the program this time out was a litle...off. Both the Nap and Ohio rosters were a mystery. Like...no Jane Ire listed for the Sirens? Oooookay.

The Belles bout was close early on but then Gang Greens offense took over and our Blockers seemed a bit disjointed. GG's experience started paying off and with Jayden Blaze able to score very consistently it was out of hand into the 2nd half. GG's Blockers were tough but Blue and Katya were scoring well. Katya is one helluva Rollergirl if you dont already know. Pure fire and passion from her all season long. The continuing development of Racer at Jammer was apparent also. I was surprised to see a skater named Devil Woman on the Belles roster. Uhhh...WHO?I have to say that I've not really heard of her. On the Ohio side of things Jayden Blaze was great. With no Kitty in town Jayden quickly became my OH fave. Weird thing was when I caught her later and told her how good I thought she did she said that she wasnt really crazy about Jamming. What?! Believe me Jayden...you are a JAMMER. For real! I was disappointed to see that she spent no time Jamming at all in the 2nd game. The officiating seemed sketchy at times with too many elbows going uncalled. Usually its the other way around. Weird. Blue took a really tuff blow to the face at one point and still no call! One Ref in particular got the ire of the NapFans stoked for inconsistant calls. The Belles have been so damn impressive all season that the way that the Gang Green skaters took over the game was a bit of a shock. Which reminds me...where was Psyche?? JenX got called up to the Sirens when Sin went down so we expected that loss on the Belles roster. But I'm taking nothing away from the GG's. They played very well and won convincingly.

Then the Sirens v Ohio All Stars started and it was close the whole way. Barracuda did a rock solid job at Jammer for OH. Pippi and Dirty Grrl also contributed to Ohio's offense. NRG Jammers Ace and Jane put points on the board for Race City all game long. Fin and Slammy had some really good moments too in what was one helluva bout. But then there was the 13 point Jam that OH put together. And the odd refereeing that was going on did have a disconcerting effect on the psyche of the Nap skaters. I sure wish that the Naptown skaters would have had at least another week to heal up from the F Dubb bloodbath and prepare for OH. The illness of Ace and Jane leading up to the bout had surprisingly little obvious effect on their performances. As a matter of fact before the Belles bout started I ran into the Amazin Blazin Ace and she looked stunning! And of course the season had to go out on a Shadi Jam. She has become THE fan favorite right after the Amazin Ace. The chant rose from the crowd..."Shadi! Shadi! Shadi!". In the end it was anyones game and even tho NRG lost 66-62 for some reason it just didnt FEEL like a loss. I was once again talking with a very hoarse voice at the end of the bout.

I have to bring this up...where the hell was the big sell-out crowd that we had all become so accustomed too?? What reason could there be that the crowd was so comparatively small? Fans on vacation? Last year the crowd was consistently impressive to the last bout. Is the Double-Header too much for the casual fan? Hey, in my eyes its 2 for the price of 1. But you know me...I could watch a bout every night and STILL would want to see more. I'm...uhhhh...not a "casual" fan. I dont get it. Last bout against FW the crowd was a bit smaller than usual but this time it was a marked drop off in attendance. If the truth be told there are many, many leagues out there that would love to draw the crowd NRG did on an "off" night. But hey...we're used to 3-4000 crazy fans so it is weird to see half of that in attendance. Anyone have the official count? Just curious. The fans that DID show up are of the die-hard variety and were more than vocal enuff. Hey, didja see Joan of Dark catch a skate on the everpresent "God is a Naptown Fan" sign? Yes, it gaves its life in Derby battle and was torn by none other than the J.o.D.! Wow. Speaking of J.o.D., she was awesome this bout! Totally on fire and incredibly fierce. One of her best games this season. Naptown loves its Angel! And it sure was nice to finally see SJ in attendance again. She has only been able to catch one other Nap Home bout this season because of her paycheck gig. Really nice to see ya Strawberry. Also caught Megan, Fly and Poker Face from the Soc's out in the crowd.

Like the bout, the Afterparty wasnt quite as well attended as usual but it was definately still rockin'. The Ohio Rollergirls score high on my "likeability" gauge and they were a blast to hang out with. I got the chance to get a pic with Jayden so hey I was happy! I talked to Ohio announcer Caeser, who did a great job during the bout, and was surprised to hear whats been going on with Ohio this year. They are in something of a "restructuring" phase and are trying to save money for a strong push next season. As a result they are playing in a tiny venue that holds 300 people. Its mostly a friends and family scenario I guess. They WERE drawing crowds in the 1000-1500 range last year but I guess at this point in time they couldnt afford the larger venue. I really do wish OH all the best because they are an original member of WFTDA and are genuinly cool people. I got the "Why dont WE have a nickname" question and all I can really say is that it hasnt come to me yet. Its something of a slow-burner that Ohio nick. Along with F Dubb and Tricky Cincy, OH should be on the schedule at least every other year because of close proximity. And oh yeah Caeser...thanx for the shout out during the bout! It was cool to finally meet ya.

Ohio will be playing Cincy next Saturday and I have considered cruising to the Queen City to check it out but 2 things stand in my way: I may have to put in a full day at work and also there is a CC Socialites bout against Stateline going on at Hamilton Co Fairgrounds. We shall see. I may not get a better chance to catch Kitty Liquorbottom in action this year and I have a marketing contract for her to sign so...

Its gonna seem like forever until next seasons Home opener arrives. And theres gonna be a changing of the guard and that much is guaranteed. However, from what I have seen from the Belles this year and the young talent currently on the Sirens roster the future is in good hands. I mean, just LOOK at all that Jammer talent on the Belles squad. Yep. The future of NRG is in good hands and NapFans have much to look forward too. Still, a bittersweet feeling lingers. Because a changing of the guard means the loss of skaters that we've all come to know and admire. And that does hurt a little.

Kitties Kitties Everywhere and Not a One to Meet

2009-06-14T15:34:00.003-05:00

Yes...its true. Kitty Liquorbottom didnt show last nite. Her Kitty Queen Crown remains unclaimed here in Naptown. We are saddened. Its okay Kitty...I mean, you ripped my soul apart and I've lost all meaning in my life but its OKAY. But I thought we had an understanding...something of a vibe between us. Really, just think about it Kitty, whats more important? Your job? Or hanging out with ME?? I mean, jobs come and go but the love and admiration I have for you is irreplaceable. So yeah...just pitch my heart right into the litterbox. I'm still willing to sell all manner of cheesy products bearing yer name and likeness tho. I gotta make a living ya know.

KL rules! 8)

Let the Litterbox Come to Indy!!

2009-06-07T16:14:00.002-05:00

Because I'm a fan of the incomparable Kitty Liquorbottom too!! Repeat after me Kitty..."I must go to Indy...I must go to Indy...I MUST GO TO INDY". Let us all share in the special comraderie that Kitty Liquorbottom fans share worldwide! Litterbox dwellers rise up for Kitty!! We shall unleash upon the Derby world a LEGION of Liquorbottom lovers! If ya dont make it out to Race City for this bout KL you know that we will all be saddened...dont sadden us Kitty...SHOW. Because we all love the new Kitty Queen! Let her be crowned as Kitty Queen! The former Kitty Queen...Kitty Killjoy has retired and left her glorious throne empty. Its time to assume yer mantle Kitty Liquorbottom...in INDY. There yer crown awaits...

KL rules 8).

Naptown v Ohio Bout Preview!

2009-06-03T21:26:00.008-05:00

Ohio will be rollin into Indy shortly and while the Naptown Faithful are still swooning over that F Dubb victory its best not to dwell on it at this point. I know, I know...it WAS awesome. WAS being the key word at this juncture. This is my concern, that Race City will still be basking in the glow of what was the biggest win of the season and let down their guard. Ya know...relax and perhaps not be 100% focused on a very hungry Ohio team that did win a close one against Sioux Falls. I saw the Sioux play last year and they were pretty damn good. And they also beat the Gems...twice. Which does beg the question: Why play the Gems twice already in '09?? Just asking.

The OH squad have had a tuff time in their WFTDA history with only 2 victories to their credit since joining WFTDA as an original member in '06.Those couple of wins came against the Steelies and the Burns. The Steel skaters did avenge their earlier loss to OH by beating them recently. Ohio also, like NRG, lost to NStar this year. Currently the Ohio All Stars are ranked #42 by FTS. The Nap skaters are ranked #36. Ohio have been very competitive in some very good bouts. What I'm saying is that I hope no one discounts this team because they will sneak up and sting ya. With only 2 weeks to recover from the amazing bout against rival FW its gonna require a refocus and some quick healing to be ready for the OH when they arrive.

Frankly, with the recent winning results of Race City fresh in everyones mind I would be surprised if Nap lost. I guess ya just gotta look at that Jammer talent on NRG. And the cohesion of the Naptown Blockers who are playing as good as they have all season. I can tell ya this...if Race City brings it like they did against F Dubb than all will be well for Indy's team and fans.

But now for the REAL concern...will Kitty Liquorbottom show?? I NEED my picture taken with her. I NEED to tell her how she has one of my favorite names in all of Derby. I mean, does it get any better than that? Come on KL...show! Please?? For me?? I wanna be yer manager. I can see Kitty Liquorbottom Tees, hats, hoodies, lunchboxes, ltd edition bottles of Kitty Liquorbottom Cognac, a full line of fragrances, ya know...the Kiss-style SELL OUT. Hell yes. I will only take a nominal fee of course, nothing too Jerry Maguire I assure you. Now ya GOTTA show. Come on.

The likely Ohio roster:

Alli Catraz
Triptease
drrty grrl
Wendra Woman
Foxy Force
Chewblocka
Phoenix Bunz
Barracuda
Pippi Ripyourstockings
Jaden Blayz
Royal Pain
Kill Basa
HellionBOI
Bratislava
and of course the incomparable KITTY LIQUORBOTTOM!

Oh...and J.o.D.
surprise!! 8)

The Mighty Gothic Queens of Complete Destruction v the Carols....hmmmmm

2009-06-02T16:52:00.005-05:00

The Carols have one rock solid squad. I mean, theres not really one glaring weakness on that team. Now, if ya wanna nitpick then yeah...there might be a couple of tiny things that could be tweaked but overall the Carols are SOLID. But ya wanna know what solid is? The Goths. The freakin' ridiculous wall of complete destruction that IS the Mighty Goths of NYC. Bet ya dont remember the last time they lost do ya?? Come on, search yer memory. Still cant remember can ya?? Thats because the last time they lost was waaay back in September of 2007! Yep. They went down to KC at the Texas Shootout by 15 points. Now mind you, that was the epic squad that KC had w/Jammers Xcelerator and Snot Rocket. Uhhhh...Carols? Its been a while since the skaters of Gotham have lost a bout. And it isnt going to be this weekend either. If the Carols lose its nothin to be that freaked out over tho. Really its a matter of point differential. If Carolina lost by 9 points it would really matter. It would look good. In '09 tho the Carols have 2 bouts in the books and 2 losses. -27 against Lovely Charm and -39 against Liberty City. But in my mind the only 2 teams capable right now of beating the NYC Machine is Philly and Windy. So losin to the Cheesesteaks isnt anything to hang yer head over. The last win for Carolina was over the ATL last year. So yeah...hang on Carolina. The Tank of Hellish Destruction is about to roll on thru. Girl up and press on Carols. Its gonna be a ruff ride.

Thats Bonnie Thunders of the Mighty Hellish Goths in the Pic btw

Naptown v F Dubb Bout Recap or Naptowns Night of Glory

2009-06-01T17:44:00.005-05:00

Can I just say something right from the outset?? This was a "must win" for the skaters of Race City and man did they ever get it done. After a ruff start the NRG have found their groove and are playing to their real potential now. I have to say that Saturdays bout was one of the most exciting and tooth n nail bouts that I have ever witnessed. And lets give credit to the FW squad...they played their asses off. They fought with spirit and toughness all night. Pushycat and RIPtide were great and Jammed like hellions. This bout was all that we could have hoped for and I'm just glad that the Nap girls came out on top...twice. My evening went something like this:

*I decided to ride my bike, Elvira, out to the bout because the forecast stated that the threat of rain would be SOUTH of Indy. Mmmm hmmm. NOT. As I pulled into the Fairgrounds it began sprinkling and the "parking folks" said that there was NO parking to be had at the Toyota Pavilion so I would have to park my precious bike elsewhere. Begrudgingly I did, then as I walked towards the Pavilion I noticed Graduation attendees pulling out and there was parking to be had. I got my pass (thanks JL and WH!) and said "Screw this...I'm fetchin my ride!!". After gettin my bike I found an open spot right out front!! Sheeeeesh. When I went inside I made a bee-line to the merch table and nabbed one o' those cool new Naptown tees and got some nachos. The thing about nachos is that once the cheese gets to room temperature its like ehhh...so I pitched 1/3rd into the trash. Oh well. Then the gang started to arrive, yeah, the Naptown FAMILY. Damn I luv you folks! I saw my opportunity to chat up Minx and Rosemary's Baby of F Dubb and found out something disheartening...there will be NO FALL BRAWL this year!! Aaaaargh! There wil be a Tournament in the spring called...uhhh... naturally..."The Spring Thing". Ya wanna know a few of the teams that will be in attendance doncha?? Course ya do. Well howzabout WINDY f'n City?? And Deeeetroit?! And (I'm swooning here) the Archies?? Hopefully Beer City will also be in the mix too. Naptowns a given, right?? Should be EPIC. Early $$$ is on the Crushers!! (WCR). We talked about the lovely Kitty Killjoy too. Seems that her interest in Derby may have been waning and she lives in the Carolinas now.

*Then it was time for the Belles to warm up. Watching Dora skate around the track with that Dora backpack was hilarious. Dora? You are too cool Rollergirl! When it came time for the Belles to bout the SWAT skaters they fired on all cylinders and it was just a matter of time until they took off and never looked back. Told ya Dora! One of the things I noticed was that Racer seemed faster than before. And howzabout that Blue?! Damn that girl ROCKS! You would never even know that she was coming off an injury. Love her. Really, the whole team was so in synch and totally impressive all night that I was just speechless. The Belles would absolutely beat some WFTDA A-teams out there and thats for realz! You skaters are an awesome collection of young talent and speed. Too much. The standout player of the night for me was Ima Hurtchu tho. I turned to Lux several times and said "Did you see that hit??! Who the hell IS this Rollergirl??!". Ima was killin it!! Bright future for her indeed...a natural Blocker. And Sandy! Hurtin skaters the whole bout!

And then...the Main Event, a heavyweight bout between two evenly matched, determined squads. The air was just crackling with electricity. The weird thing was that there were some empty seats in the venue! Not a sell out?? Ya gotta be f'n kiddin me. What do people want? Damn. Anyway, the bout was all we coulda hoped for. Back and forth it went. What adjectives can I use that would do this bout justice? I mean really? And how about that Pushycat? That Rollergirl is a bonafide BADASS. You all KNOW that you would love to have a Jammer like her on yer team. She is INTENSE. Fiery. Passionate. Focused. And RIPtide is so good. But ya know what?? We have ACE. The Amazin Blazin ACE. A pure Jammer talent so extraordinary it makes my Derby-lovin heart pound! I freakin LOVE that Rollergirl. And the continuing evolution of our Power Jammer Fin Addict. She just gets better. The absence of our Sin Lizzy was felt but still the Nap Blockers were in a rythem that just stroked all night long. Is this turning into a lovefest yet? Well, yeah, it should. This is what I live for...pure, passionate Roller Derby action.

*And then Pushy went down hard right in front of me. She was in agony and I felt my spirit sink for a moment. Look...I know that she's the "enemy" but my heart sank in empathy for her. Pushycat KILLS and I totally respect that. She is what Derby is all about so dont hate on me Napfans. When I saw her fightin pain and writhing on the floor I noticed the FW Coach arguing with the Refs about??? A trip?? Touretta not falling small?? (kinda tuff to fall "small" for her ya know??). That pissed me off and I said something that I wont repeat here. Just, like, dude yer BEST player, yer STAR is on the floor hurt...get over there and attend to her!!! Damn. When Pushy struggled to her feet I shouted "You kick ass Pushy!!". And I meant it too. I heard thru the grapevine that fans were laughing when she went down or were perhaps cheering. Some fans may have cheered INTIALLY when she went down because they didnt know that she was hurt but I am here to tell you that Pushy was on the floor right in front of me and so I think I know what the hell I'm talkin about when I say that no one was all giddy that she was hurt. I can tell ya this too...if anyone ever, and I mean EVER laughs or cheers because an opposing Rollergirl is hurt I am gonna be the most intense asshole that they've ever seen. I wont stand for that one minute and they would know real quick-like that its time to just shut up. Or else. More on Pushycat later.

*As the bout unfolded it became obvious that Race City was patient enuff to keep chippin away until they took the lead and then due to several circumstances FW was not able to quite come back. Certainly the loss of their star Pushy had something to do with it but I didnt see any quit in that squad. None. And then came the moment that will live on in my memory forever. Fan favorite Shadi Layne Jamming for the first time in the bout. As we began to chant "Shadi...Shadi...Shadi!!!" she glanced over and gave a subtle horns salute. It was mythic and the crowd ate it up! Talk about energizing an already energetic crowd...it was the moment of the evening for me. I was literally losing my voice from shouting, chanting and screaming so intensely all nite. I need to say that I have never been so animated and freaked out at a bout ever. It was borderline embarrasing. Really. I was INTO this bout like no bout I have ever attended. The only one that even comes close also involved F Dubb. It was the Beer City v FW bout last summer and let me tell ya, that one was classic at the end and came down to the last Jam. The memory of Rejected Seoul scoring the go ahead points and leaping into my arms triumphantly was one that will live forever. Yeah...Brew City love! Ha!

*At the end of the bout the smiles and sense of accomplishment was palpable and it was one of sheer joy. Hugs everywhere. I asked the FW Coach how Pushy was doing and he said something about possible torn tendons. Ouch. Then the radar map was flashed on the screen and it was obvious that a very bad storm was on its way very soon. Talk of 70mph gusts and hail filled my mind with dread as thought about my damn bike. The bike that I've spent thousands and thousands of $$$ on. Hail?? Oh hell no. I would sooner throw my body over that bike than to let f'n hail dent the tank and fenders. I considered pulling it into the building or maybe running it real quick under one of those carport structures at the Fairgrounds. But...only rain fell. And so I got wet goin to the Afterparty. Oh well, at least I got a primo spot right in front of Birdy's! And then MU waved me through and I STILL owe her a beer. I'll getcha at that Ohio bout MU. And damn am I glad that she's still hangin with us, she is such a firecracker.

Upon entering the bar I walked over to grab a beer at the bar and I turned my head and there was Pushycat!! ??? I said "Uhhh Pushy...shouldnt you go to the ER? What are you doing here?". I'm paraphrasing here but she said that they would only schedule an MRI and there probably wasnt much that they could do for her. She said that It would be cheaper to go to the Doc when she got back to Ft Wayne. Maybe her health insurance was one of those "network plans"? At any rate I bought her a beer and said "Here...have a beer cause you are one kick ass Rollergirl" Made her smile 8). I did my usual mingling but honestly I was so caught up in Naptowns celebration that I didnt really get around to chattin as much as I usually would with the visiting team. And that sux because I really did have some questions for the F Dubb skaters. I did notice that I never did see Bang Bang at the Afterparty. Did I miss her? Or did she head right for home? Hmmmm. I also had a conversation with Coaches Rick and Fiesty and it was a VERY interesting conversation to say the least. And noooo...I cant speak of it. I will only say that it was really "interesting". Also had the chance to talk to Coach Di and that was very cool too. She has such a firm grasp of Derby tactics and techniques! At any rate, as I stepped outside to talk with Cat about her cycle problems I noticed lightning flashes in the sky and I thought that it would be best to start the long ride back home before I got soaked again. As I pulled away on Elvira I shouted "Naaaaaptooooowwwn!!" to some fans as they left the bar and turned out onto Keystone Avenue. I was all warm inside and my brain was flooded with a swirl of incredible memories of Naptowns Night of Glory. I will never forget this bout. Years will go by and I will never forget this bout.

Texas- 451 Oklahoma - 8 ??!! Come on O.M.!!! Mercy!!

2009-05-31T09:46:00.003-05:00

Last night the Original Muthas of Austin saw fit to obliterate the all time blow out record and CRUSHED the VicDolls 451 - 8. Get the livin' F*CK outta here!!! Was that really necessary TX? I'm sorry but thats total bullshit. Ya think that when the score was around 250-3 that ya coulda taken yer foot off the gas? There is no way that I would have put my skaters through that either. If I was coaching the VicDolls I would have seriously thought about a forfeit...and thats not like me, but COME ON. I wouldnt want to keep puttin' my girls thru that even if they didnt want to quit. Yeah....thats one of those very rare occasions when I would have just said "Screw this. FORFEIT!". So okay Big Ole TX...lesson learned. The VicDolls suck compared to you, we get it. That score just pisses me off and I feel really bad for OK, I am in pain just reading that score. I guess that the Original Muthas just turned me into a VicDolls fan. Remember...I dont like bullies. And totally humiliating a young team like OK by a score of 451-8 just doesnt sit well with me at all. Nope, not a bit. Thank you very much.

GO VICTORY DOLLS! Love to you Rollergirls of Oklahoma...<3 <3 <3

A Quick Pick - G-Rag v Tricky Cincy

2009-05-30T11:12:00.000-05:00

I have a lot of affection for the skaters of Grand Rapids and Dot is so cool but...I'm gonna hafta say that Tricky Cincy will come out on top once again in tonites bout. That is if Sadie is on top of her game cause ya know how the old saying goes..."As Sadie goes so goes Cincy". And theres major truth in that. If G-Rag still had Mira Maheiney on their squad then that woulda certainly helped their cause but thats not gonna happen. Yep- put that stone cold cashish on the Tricky Rollergirls o' Cincy.

Sure wish that I could check out the livestream of this bout 2nite but I shall be watching the fierce, tempestuous battle in Indy...a major grudge match between Naptown and F-Dubb. it'll be a Double Header w/the Warning Belles going up against Fort Wayne's SWAT team. Then it'll be the Sirens v FW's All Stars. Hopefully next year Naps bouts will be ustreamed. And no...I STILL dont pick Nap bouts. I'm not gonna jinx my Homegirls! Total luv to Race City (I totally play favorites!). It WILL be very strange to see F Dubb w/out the beautiful Kitty Killjoy at the Jammer position tho. She is great. Ya hear that ya Carols?? She lives out in yer neck of the woods now and even tho ya DO have the Princess it sure would be nice to have a Kitty too! 8)

Oh, and as regards the Burns...I dont care where those girls are ranked, they have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY better over the course of the past year and nobody better take them lightly. They took F Dubb out last year and they are improving steadily. Shout out to the BRRG! You Rollergirls are rockin C-Town...hell yes.

F-Dubb v Naptown Bout Preview or Wherefore art thou Kitty?

2009-05-19T20:24:00.005-05:00

Before I get too deep into the upcoming grudge-bout between Ft Wayne and Nap I wanna make a 'lil inquiry. Where the hell is Kitty Killjoy? She got married several months ago and has seemingly fallen off the F-Dubb roster. Did she retire? Or is she on hiatus since being wed? Just kinda wondering. If anyone KNOWS the whereabouts of my favorite FW skater let me know. I dont have any "ins" with FW and thus I know nothing about what has become of her. Hopefully she hasnt been abducted by cow dissecting aliens. Because that would be...like...not good. At any rate the loss of Kitty at the Jammer position would be a blow, albeit not as big a blow as I would have imagined since the Ft Wayne squad has done fairly well in '09.

After having a murderous stretch dating back to '07 that left FW at 1-9 they have apparently righted the ship. Lets review shall we? F-Dubb squeeked by the Burns 79-73. But B River has really gotten quite a bit better since they were last seen in Naptown. As a matter of fact they beat FW last year. Then FW killed No Coast 100-40. And they had another close one against Nash in which they won 64-59. Finally they more than met their match against the Steelies who have been on one hell of a roll this year. FW lost 143-69. Then FW beat NWA quite handily by a score of 119-66. Yes, its been a marked improvement for the skaters of F-Dubb this year.

Ft Wayne has played very angry this year and it seems to be working for them. Certainly it helps tremendously that they have gotten their spiritual leader back from an injury forced hiatus...Bang Bang LaDesh. The continuing improvement of Jammer R.I.P.tide has also helped. And you can never discount the skills of Pushycat with or without her infamous whip. Pushycat and R.I.P.tide provide a nice 1-2 punch for FW and they DO have an intimidating and hard-hitting group of Blockers. And those Blockers arent small girls either!

I was watching the ustream live boutcast of the FW v Nash bout and was really taken aback by some of the unprovoked and strange remarks by the FW announcers directed towards Naptown. What the hell was the point of that? Frankly I have decided to just chalk it up to the still heated rivalry between the two teams and thats fine with me. Other than perhaps Tricky Cincy F-Dubb are Race City's main rivals and thats GOOD! I love it! Every sport has its intense rivalries and why should Roller Derby be any different? All this has truly inspired our Homegirls and its going to be a very fiery bout indeed on May 30th. With a few exceptions the Nap skaters are healthy and READY. This I know: regardless of the outcome of the bout I have a feeling that there will be no love lost between the two squads.

I will also say this...there wil be no Plasmatics tee, no "other league" tees for me this time. Nope. I will be in red and black, sporting my Naptown RG tee (which I have only worn ONCE this season). I will also be wearing my lucky red n black skull and crossbones bandana. Mmmm hmmm. Because its TIME. Its time to show my total devotion and love for these Race City Rollergirls. Its time for a take no prisoners showdown. Ya feel me??

Lovely Charm v the Carols Bout Prediction!

2009-05-15T18:26:00.001-05:00

Aaaahhhh...Lovely Charm v the Carols. Another epic matchup between 2 incredibly skilled teams that could be one of the best bouts of the year thus far. But before I get all into that I need to address something right away. Tell me that I didnt actually just read that there's a skater for Lovely Charm named JUST CAROL. Are ya freaking kiddin me?? Just Carol? Uhhhh, look, I know this may be something of a problem but if yer handle is Just Carol how can you NOT be wearing black n red?! Perhaps Bianca needs to change her name right before the bout to Just Lovely then things would be all balanced out in the Derby Universe as we know it. There is no damn way that Just Carol doesnt suit up for the Carols...

Anyhoo...on to the bout prediction. I was really struggling with this one and so I put off babbling out my predict all week thinking that, ya know, it would just come to me. All sparkly and magical like. Maybe the Almighty Derby Goddess would whisper in my ear the outcome as she occasionally does. But NO! What troubling monkey wrench does She throw in the rotating gears in between my ears?? I find out that the amazing Princess America is on the Carols roster. DOH!!! Man o man. The Princess is one of the most skilled Jammers on the planet and there's not a league out there that wouldnt want her at the start line wearing their colors. She just flat out KICKS ASS. Yeah...the Carols are capable of defeating any team in WFTDA. Well...except, of course, the Mighty Gothic Queens of the Big Bad Apple. They that rule the Derby World with an iron fist. They that have a complete lack of anything resembling mercy.

Here's the rub tho: The Carols have a whopping ONE bout result in 2009. And that would be a loss to the skaters of Liberty City where the final score was 85-46. But Philly DOES totally kick ass and all. So....hmmmm. What have we all really seen from the Carols?? Not much this year. Lovely Charm on the other hand have been busy little stinging bees mowing down every team put before them thus far this year except for...yeah...you know it already...the Mighty Goths. Damn! Do they ever lose?? Its getting a little ridiculous at this point. Anyway, on the Lucky Charms hit list are some mighty fine teams: the Pikes, Maine (gotta come up w/a nick for them), the Beans(!!), H-Burg, the ATL and Prov. VERY impressive resume. Very very very impressive.

So here it is - Lovely Charm continues their impressive run and defeats the Princess-led Carols. Hope that the Charms know that there's a spy in their midst. I mean, her name kinda gives it away!

This is Just Dave...signing off. Peace!

The #17 Rocks v #10 Bean City Bout Preview

2009-05-14T09:13:00.004-05:00

Lets get straight to the point. Boston is good. Real good. Not good enough to avoid getting punched in the mouth by Lovely Charm or the Mighty Gothic Queens of the Universe but still...they are GOOD. And they are mega-experienced too. There's a lot to be said for having endured hours and hours of Tournament play and having won more than ya lost. So yeah, the "smart money" is on those Beans to win in this weekends awesome bout against the Rocky Mtn Fight Club. Those "in the know" figure that the Beans are just a bit better, a bit more experienced, a bit higher ranked than the Killer Rocks. And hey - Boston has Pussy Venom!

I'm here to tell ya to take a little gamble with me. Take yer wad o' "smart $$$" and walk out on the ledge with it. Listen to my trusted and infamous "gut instinct" and bet on those Killer Rocks. In what should prove to be an excellent, closely contested bout I have faith that those Rocks are gonna find a way somehow to win. Dont believe me?? Not ready to trust my gut instinct? Thats okay. But let me take ya back to the year of 2008. Ummmm...that would be LAST year. The awesomeness that is the Killer Rocks made itself known and in an incredible night of glory the Rocks DEFEATED the Beans 111-93. Ya remember that?? Hmmmm?? Well I do. And the Rocks do too. I imagine that the memory of that bout brings a smile to their faces. I was very proud of them that night as they showed HEART and brought a toughness and will that made obvious what this team is all about. And I'm taking nothing away from the Beans either. I have the utmost respect for them and they fought hard that night, as they always do.

I can hear some doubters whispering in the background about the results at the 4 Corners Feud Tournament that happened a few months back when RMRG lost both bouts. Well listen to this...I'm throwing that Tournament out the window. I dont care about what happened at the 4CF. I really dont. The Rocks had some disadvantages that weekend but I'm not really making any excuses for them. I jsut dont really believe that the results of that Tournament will have any bearing whatsoever on the bout thats gonna be going down this weeked. And you shouldnt either. Have a little faith. The Killer Rocks are gonna find a way. And somebody had better be twittering updates during this bout or I'm gonna DIE.

Only one more thing to say: 111-93, 2008. Got it?

WFTDA's Most Struggling Team- the Long Island Roller Rebels

2009-05-03T14:58:00.006-05:00

I first noticed LIRR back when they lost by a historical margin to Dom. The score was 307-6. Read that again...307-6. Yes, its just as painful to read it a 2nd time. And thats the largest score differential in WFTDA history...-301. OUCH. How have the Rebels fared otherwise?? Wellll...not so good. They lost to Maine 208-22 (-186). They lost to Gotham back in '07 109-34 (-75). They went down to Conn 289-16 (-45) and got crushed by Harrisburg 244-56 (-188). Then they lost to the Steelies 233-70 (-163). How in the living hell is that even possible?? How does a squad keep losing and losing by such a terrible margin? I wish I knew. Are they only able to practice once a week? I just dont get it. Its not like there's a small pool of potential talent out there on Long Island. Did the Mighty Goth Queens take all the skaters in NYC? Are LIRR actively recruiting? Yes folks, the Rebels are historically inept. There has to be a reason why LIRR keep losing and losing big and dont seem to be gaining any real momentum.

The lone bright spot in their dark history has been a miraculous victory against the Steelies when the stars were aligned and time stopped and somehow the Rebs fell ass backwards into a victory. The score was 117-87 and from what I've heard the Steel City squad were down some skaters due to illness, injuries, etc. But I'm not about to downplay the one victory in LIRR history okay? My fear is that they may never taste the sweet flavor of victory again.

It is too easy to criticise a team that has struggled as mightily as Long Island and I just dont have the heart for it. In truth I have found myself becoming a closet fan of this team and rooting for them to at least achieve respectability in their painful losses. I respect the fact that they just keep plugging away in relative obscurity and have never given up on their little league. Theres something to be said for that people. Seriously. If YOU were on a team that kept getting blown out like LIRR would YOU be able to keep keeping on? Its hard...its very tuff. There has to be some serious soul searching going on after some of these lop-sided losses and I really, really feel for these Rollergirls. I have always hated bullies and rooted for underdogs, its just my nature. And you may never find a bigger underdog than Long Island.

I had a dream last night that I was at an LIRR practice and in walks Bonnie Thunders and Suzy Hotrod. Suzy says, "Enough of this bullshit...yer winning this next game. And we're gonna be Jamming for the Rebels as guest skaters so the bitches better take notice!". Nice dream eh LI?? If only...

If and when the Rebel skaters get wind of this Blog post they may look at me with mixed feelings. Or perhaps they will get the spirit of this post. Or maybe they will realize that I am supporting them in my own little way. Or they could wish that I would just go away...hell I dunno. Regardless, they will have my full support.

So this is my request to everyone that reads this Blog: Say a prayer to the Derby Goddess for Long Island. Send yer sparkly, postive-vibey energies to this team. Support them, root for them, wish them well and buy their merch. They really need a break. They desperately need a heart warming win. They need a victory in the name of the late Anita Fixxx, who passed away back in '06 when they joined WFTDA. They DESERVE to feel good after so many heart wrenching losses. With upcoming bouts against Green Mountain, Dutchland (thats gonna be another very tuff bout!) and Suburbia LIRR will be hoping and not giving up. Long Island Roller Rebels...you have my heart somehow. 'Cause I love the Underdog.

LIRR's current roster:

Amaretto Sourpuss
Anita Cookie
Baby Bop YO Face
Capt Morgan
Chest Blockwell
Celtic Thunder
C-Roll
Cyanide Kisses
D-Ball
Etta James
Eve L Taco (!)
Mean Frostine
Muscles Marinara
Ninja Starr
Mad Donna
Regine Bull
Red Snapher
Serial Mom
Terropin
Violet Knockout
Tailgunner Flo

GO REBELS!!!

Aaahhh yes...WFTDA Ruleset 4.0

2009-04-30T22:21:00.002-05:00

In case you've been in a coma WFTDA has released Ruleset 4.0 and its excellent. Really. I am not being a sarcastic 'ole cuss. I really do LIKE the changes. Thankfully tweaks to the cutting the track rule and the Jammerless Jam rule have finally happened. I posted a few comments on the DNN site and thought that I would re-post them here cause I'm a lazy sod. Here ya go:

The new Ruleset is the best one yet and makes a few critical changes that will undoubtably improve game flow but I just gotta ask...who the hell is taking out their mouthguard DURING a Jam?? Dont think that I've ever seen a skater remove any protective gear DURING a Jam. Who is the glutton for punishment that is doing this?? Soooo...uhhhh...okay. ???

So just let me say that the next time I catch any Rollergirl throwing her mouthguard across the track and whipping off her helmet and hurling it at an errant Ref I assure you that I will give her a good talking to. A very surprised and stuttering good talking to. ;)

Time to vent. I DESPISE the

Submitted by Biker_Dave on April 30, 2009 - 9:52pm.

Time to vent.

I DESPISE the two 30 minute halves that have become the WFTDA standard. I have always felt that it was waaaay better to have three 20 minute periods. The skaters get crucial rest, the crowd gets an extra bathroom/beer fetch break and it has always seemed so much better for bout-flow. And the hardcore folks crossing their legs in the suicides get to stand up and stretch their legs. Thats somewhat important to those of us who arent in their 20's but insist on parking in the suicides anyway...'cause we're HARDCORE old bastards 'kay?? And I dont think that this is a minor quibble. Bring back the three 20 minute periods in WFTDA Ruleset 4.1!!! Does anyone out there other than me feel this way??

Heres one rule that REALLY

Submitted by Biker_Dave on April 30, 2009 - 10:05pm.

Heres one rule that REALLY has me pissed!!

10.1.3.2 "Non-form fitting face shields such as hockey style full face shields, half face shields or face cages are strictly prohibited."

What??!! I, for one, long for the days when Rollergirls could kick total ass with their Patrick Roy mask on. What a freakin' BUMMER! And what about all those skaters that have adopted those ultra-stylish Jason masks??! What...they cant wear them anymore? Total BS people...total unadulterated BS! What about Batgirl masks?? I guess thats a no go now too. Sheeeeesh. Leave it to WFTDA to take ALL the fun outta Derby.

And here's another rule ya

Submitted by Biker_Dave on April 30, 2009 - 10:15pm.

And here's another rule ya may have missed while discussing and debating the more relaxed "cutting the track" tweak:

9.2.7.1 The Head Referee may call a forfeit for the following reasons: [9.2.7.1.1] A team has five or fewer un-injured rostered skaters remaining due to expulsions. [9.2.7.1.2] A team refuses to field skaters on the track to continue play.

Uhhhh...I got news for ya- If you have "5 or less un-injured" skaters left than HELL freakin' YES forfiet the hell outta that mutha!! If yer down to 5 skaters, or Derby Goddess forbid, LESS than 5 then you need to getcher asses on out to the Afterparty, get yer buzz on and lick yer wounds. Frankly I dont believe that I have ever actually SEEN a team still trying to girl up and press on with 5 or fewer skaters but ya know...I didnt make it out to that awesome Northeastern Iowa Barnstormin Rollergirls vs Gotham Girls bout so ya know...

UK Roller Derby Blows Up!!

2009-04-21T14:33:00.005-05:00

Roller Derby in England and Scotland has caught on in a BIG way and with teams now in Germany and Sweden the European Derby scene is incredibly exciting. As you can see by the list above England now has 11 active teams! Unreal. I have heard that there may be a European Tournament in the near future and that could only help build the exciting scene across the pond. Derby fanbases are starting to build steadily and it is my hope that one day soon we will see a WFTDA- Europe. The Derby scene in New Zealand and Australia has also taken off and so the internationalism of the greatest womens sport in the world is assured. And make no mistake-Roller Derby IS the greatest womens sport in the WORLD and the rest of the world has really caught on. Name one other womens sport that has grown as exponentially as Roller Derby...ya cant! There are some good womens sports out there, Tennis, Gymnastics. Figure Skating and even Motor Sports but not one of them has the excitement and intrigue that both Banked track and Flat track Derby has. Theres a REASON why Roller Derby has taken off like it has...its a contact sport for Women but its still somehow feminine and sexy. Its fast but not TOO fast. Its punk, its metal, its alternative. Its AWESOME!! And all of us, fans and skaters alike, owe a large debt to the Original Muthas...TXRG and the Banked track Rollergirls of TXRD. They were the accidental visionaries that gave birth to the incredible sport of Modern Roller Derby. In my opinion, with all due respect to the Old Style Derby. Modern Roller Derby is far superior. Its a real sport for real athletes. Its a game of skill, speed, tactics, power and skating talent with nary a "fix" in sight. And I say that as an avowed fan of the "Demon of the Derby" Ann Calvello. I adore the Modern game and its plain to see that a whole lot of other people do too. So today, raise a cold glass of the frothy stuff to the Derby Goddess and look upon what she has created: The greatest womens sport in the WORLD!

Midwestern Roller Derby Rules!!

2009-04-21T10:18:00.002-05:00

Akron, Ohio|Akron/Canton, Ohio|Canton, OH - NEO Rock'n'Rollergirls
Bloomington, IN - Bleeding Heartland RollerGirls
Cape Girardeau, MO - SEMO Rollergirls
Chicago|Chicago, IL - Windy City Rollers
Chicago|Chicago, IL - The Chicago Outfit
Cincinnati, OH - Cincinnati Rollergirls
Cleveland, OH - Burning River Roller Girls
Columbia, MO - Destruction Junction Derby Dames
Columbus, OH - Ohio Rollergirls
Council Bluffs, IA - Rolling Thunder Derby Dames
Covington, Kentucky|Covington, KY - Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls
Dayton, OH - Gem City Rollergirls
Detroit, MI - Detroit Derby Girls
Evansville, IN - Demolition City Roller Derby
Evansville, IN - Rollergirls of Southern Indiana
Fort Wayne, IN - Fort Wayne Derby Girls
Grand Rapids, MI - Grand Raggidy Roller Girls
Indianapolis, IN - Naptown Roller Girls
Joplin, MO - Southwest Missouri RollerGirls
Joplin, MO - Mo-Kan Roller Girlz
Kansas City, MO - Kansas City Roller Warriors
Lexington, Kentucky|Lexington, KY - Rollergirls Of Central Kentucky
Lincoln, NE - No Coast Derby Girls
Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville, KY - Derby City Rollergirls
Madison, WI - Mad Rollin' Dolls
Milwaukee, WI - Brewcity Bruisers
Minneapolis-St. Paul|Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN - Minnesota RollerGirls
Minneapolis-St. Paul|Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN - North Star Roller Girls
Newport, Kentucky|Newport, KY - Riverside Rollergirls
Northern IL & Southern WI - Stateline Roller Derby Divas
Omaha, NE - Omaha Rollergirls
Paducah, Kentucky|Paducah, KY - Melt-Down Town Derby Dames
Rockford, IL - Rockford Rage Roller Derby
Sioux Falls, SD - Sioux Falls Roller Dollz
Springfield, MO - Springfield Rollergirls
St. Louis, MO - Arch Rival Rollergirls
Union, MO - Wichita, KS - Wichita/ICT Roller Girls

* Thought some of you might enjoy checking out these links! I love Derby EVERYWHERE, but Midwestern Derby holds a special place in my heart. Support these leagues!

Circle City Socialites v Demolition City Recap

2009-04-20T12:37:00.004-05:00

Last Saturday night found Indy's own Socialites battling Evansvilles Demolition City B-Team at Ellenberger Rink. When I first arrived I saw Diane Beatin, DJ Sarah and Mother Russia. Some other familiar faces included Psychedelic Sandy and Announcer Peyton Slamming. When I saw the beautiful Meana Garcia I was a bit surprised to find out that she wouldnt be skating, so that was a bit disappointing. A small but very enthusiastic crowd enjoyed a very fun night of Roller Derby action. CCS jumped out to an early lead with the illustrious Fly Jamming like her usual quick and spritely self. That Rollergirl is fast! I love watching Fly Jam, she's incredibly skilled on her Reidells and gets the crowd cheering every time out. The BIG surprise though was the debut of Poker Face. What a talent!! To say that I was stunned by her abilities would be a vast understatement. Apparently only with the Socialites for several weeks, with no Derby experience at all, she was amazing. Speed, power, balance, moves, anticipation of blocks, everything you could want to see in a rookie Jammer was there in abundance. Where in the hell is this skater from??! Well...she is a Rink Rat and was in skates before she could WALK. Literally. Another former speed skater, Poker Face is the real deal. I cant wait to see how she develops. It was obvious that she was a little nervous early on but success lead to confidence and the crowd instantly fell in love with her. Her parents were speed skaters and so the good genetics are there too. Poker Face...you are GREAT! With Fly and Poker Face on board for CCS the Jammer pool is being shored up quickly. Apparently Poker is a friend of NRG's Power Jamming Shadi "the Superhero" Layne.

Megan Enemies was totally solid and reliable at Pivot, her natural position. She's a very good leader out on the rink, shouting out instructions to her Blockers and she has a strong pack awareness. It was also nice to see Hellin Hazard getting her first bout experience at Blocker. Hellin, along with Sally Scissorhands, tried very hard to get a league started in the Columbus area but were disappointed with the struggle to get enough comitted and interested skaters to realistically form a team. You may remember their league name...Terrorz of Tiny Townz. She has a good future as a Blocker if she continues to improve and continues to make the long hour and a half commute to CCS practices. She has the power of intimidation on her side I can tell ya. She's an imposing figure out there on the track. Roll-R-Damage (formerly Dred Ruby) was CCS's hardest hitter all night, when she didnt find herself in the penalty box! It seemed that the Refs had a big 'ole bullseye on her the whole night. Speaking of Refs, I have to say that despite sending Roll to the box consistently all night, plenty of fouls were missed and several glaring errors were made. It seems that ref inexperience may have come into play, especially with some Refs having other bouts to attend. Oh well. The most confusing call, of several, was a stoppage of a Jam because of too many skaters on the track. As the skaters rounded turn 1 the whistle blew and everyone was looking around dumbfounded. Then the Ref changed his mind and decided that there WEREN'T too many skaters on the track! Uhhhh...okay. Sheeeesh.

As for Demo City, the charismatic GiGi L'Gore and Bangs McCoy were consistently racking up points and Jamming their asses off. GiGi in particular seemed the true star of Demo's B-Team and I suspect that she may get a call up soon for the A-Team. Uma Platta also had a few good, solid Jams and seems to be a developing talent at the position. G.I. Barbie was very noticeable as Jammer too, and its hard to miss her out on the track as she's a very tall and statuesque skater. Sugar Pie Honey Punch was knocking skaters around all night at Blocker and I believe she has had a stint with the A-Team. Sugar Pie is cool!

At half time I ran into Rock Scar who was sporting her "Dill-hat" that she had picked up at Boot City on the way up to Indy. To my surprise she had a cameraman and a mike and started to interview me for her upcoming Derby TV show! Although I was caught a bit off guard I gave a quick review of the action and my thoughts on the bout to that point. I was very sad to hear that Rock Scars brutal broken leg injury has forced her to retire from Roller Derby. Bummer! I'm glad that she's still in a support role with her team tho and the Derby TV show seems a great fit for her since she seems very comfortable with a mike in her hand. The show should be on a local Evansville channel soon. Good luck to you Rock! You are a total sweetheart! I was kinda bummed that there weren't any tees for sale with the actual DCRD logo. I really like that logo! At any rate I bought a tee in mens XL that said "I love DCRD... and love hurts!".

In the second half DCRD's bout experience started to show and they started to pull away from CCS. But the Soc's never gave up and kept playing their hearts out...a testament to Coach Roller Dex and Bench Coach Screama Donna. The final score was 135-73. The future looks bright indeed for CCS as they have shown considerable improvement from the first time I saw them at Ellenberger. Their conditioning in particular has improved and they are starting to gel as a team. The next 2 bouts will be way up in Noblesville at the Hamilton County Fairgrounds. On June 20th they will host Stateline DD from Rockford, IL and then on August 8th they will be going up against Radioactive City from Paducah,KY. BTW, I really like those CCS jerseys...nice!

The afterparty at Zanies Too was fun, although trying to procure alcohol was a test of yer patience. And I have to say that I have begun to dread live bands playing at these afterparties. Nothing against the bands of course but its a royal bitch trying to carry on a freaking conversation...I get tired of yelling and straining to hear. I had a blast hanging out with Roll-R and her man Josiah. Josiah is a great guy and I always have a good time talking to him. I also got the chance to talk with Coach/Ref Roller Dex, one of the truly Derby committed guys out there. Dont ever doubt this guy's pure love of Roller Derby! Also hung with Rock Scar and her sister and Peyton too of course. BTW-Peyton did a great job as announcer and was smooth and professional behind the mic. She had one of her lucky ugly dolls with her at the announcers table and I think it worked very well! I wish my pix would have turned out better but the light was just too dim for my lame ass camera. I DID get a pic of me with the gorgeous Meana Garcia tho so I was happy!! Meana, I want to see you in skates at that Stateline bout tho okay?? I'm serious!

All in all I had a f'n GREAT time with the Soc's and I implore all of you Indy Derby fans to make the drive up to Noblesville to support this team. Its a blast.

My Encounter with Joey Ramone

2009-04-16T18:22:00.003-05:00

I have 3 bands that I totally worship: the Plasmatics, the Stooges and the Ramones. I was fortunate enough to have seen the Ramones way back in 1981 in San Antonio TX. They played a little country and western dive called Randy's. The owners of Randy's didnt know the Ramones from Hank Williams Sr and were clueless enuff to serve beer in BOTTLES!! Uhhhh...not a great idea. At any rate, as I prepared to face the aural assault of the Ramones I made a very odd decision. I decided that I would wear my Tae Kwon Do belt tied around my waist (???). Yeah, I was Mr Punk Rock with my spiked hair, earings, torn jeans and my...uhhh...Tae Kwon Do belt. At any rate, when the Ramones came out there was already broken glass EVERYWHERE. Whenever you stepped you stepped on glass shrapnel! At one point, in a total ballistic trance, I decided to untie my TKD belt and began to swing it over my head wildly. Then I flung it right at Joey. At first startled, Joey quickly reached out and grabbed the end of the belt as I held tightly to the other end. What followed was a tug-of-war between me and Joey for about 20 seconds. I laughed hysterically and let go and Joey started swinging the belt over his head and flung it out into the thrashing crowd. What an epic night!! Broken glass galore and electric Ramones energy!

I reminisced today because as I was out cruising on my bike I found myself at Borders in Greenwood. Initially my intention was to find the latest issue of "Blood and Thunder". Then I saw that ALL DVD's were 50% off as a result of trying to make more room for books. Then I spied a copy of "Its Alive", the great 2 disc Ramones video collection. It was marked at $20 and so it was actually $10!! Unbelievable. I had intended on buying this set ages ago but kept holding off because I just knew I would be able to find this DVD cheap. And so I did.

At the end of the first disc is a live set in London in 1977. I was totally blown away by the sheer chaotic energy of the set. There was a huuuge crowd and the Ramones were absolutely genius...every song incredibly tight. The sound and video quality is top notch and at one point during "I Dont Wanna be a Pinhead" huge piles of confetti began falling from the ceiling on the crowd and the moment couldnt be more perfect. That has to be the most amazing Ramones footage I have ever seen! DeeDee is bouncing around the stage crackling with energy and Joey is leaning as far forward as humanly possible with his mike stand. Johnny is spinning and pogoing up and down and the vibe IS the Ramones in all their glory! Get this DVD if at all possible...its worth it just for that London '77 set. I miss those guys so much. RIP Joey, Johnny and DeeDee-you will never be forgotten.

Naptown v Green Country Bout Recap or Naptown Turns the Corner!

2009-04-13T20:49:00.004-05:00

Sweet, sweet victory! After an impressive showing against a very tuff Archies team Race City gets it done and dominates, quite literally, from the first Jam (13-0!!). Everything that gave me optimism in the last bout came to fruition this bout and our Homegirls really were overdue for some victorious celebrating. It was great to see all the fans so pumped up too. Injuries have healed for the most part, our Jammers are back and the NRG pack of Blockers has come together as one machine-like unit. The Amazin Blazin Ace was flying around the track racking up points as usual. There was one point where she came around turn 2 and fell to one knee, slid, and popped back up to get Lead Jammer status! Unreal. Have we ever seen more Lead Jammer jams than we did this bout? It was nice to see Slammy and Fin scoring points too. I told Fin that I just LOVE watching her skate when she breaks free of the pack...total power-skating form! Hands held karate chop-like with total focus and strength...its a beautiful thing. How great to see the Angel of Naptown out on the track so much too. She saw more action than during any bout this season as both Jammer and Blocker. Shadi seemed content with mostly Blocking duties, and may be best in that role until she heals up a bit. I must also say that the Chosen One was on fire this bout too! Grand slams!!

Coach Rick was as animated as I've seen him. Several times he rushed to the line, shouting at the Refs and showing passion. I LIKE it! Gone is that stoicism that Coach Rick had shown in the past. I mean, that may work for Tony Dungy or Tom Landry but this is f'n Roller Derby! The bout strategy and tactics were the best I've seen this season and the NRG Rollergirls changed it up often enuff to keep the Greenies scrambling and confused.

Speaking of the Greenies, I have to say that they looked lost about midway thru the first half. I figured that a 12 hour journey from Tulsa would be ruff and a roster of only 12 skaters made things even ruffer. Rosie the Wrecker just didnt look right all night. At first I thought that maybe she was feeling ill or something. There was several times when I loked over towards the bench and she looked really down and disheartened. It just wasnt like her at all. I felt for her to be honest. She just seemed to run out of gas and was obviously frustrated by the Nap Blockers and the deep hole that her team had dug very early in the game. I was very surprised that GCRG didnt go to Syko Path as Jammer more often, she seemed their best option from what I saw and brought a lot more energy at Jammer than anyone else on their team. When Rosie went 4-5 straight Jams it just got ridiculous. I dont care if she wanted to stay out there or not somebody needed to step up and make her get some much needed rest! I would have put Syko out there as Jammer way more than they did. A few times they put a Blocker out to Jam but kept Syko at Pivot. WTF??!! Thats crazy. Personally, I think that GC needs to make Syko a full-time Jammer and find someone else as Pivot. I know Jammer talent when I see it and Syko is a Jammer dammit.

Some bullet points:

* Talked to Rosie for a while at the Afterparty and she said that she wanted to keep Jamming even tho she was obviously fatigued. When I asked her about Syko she said that they needed her more at Pivot. I know that Pivot is important but I still believe that she needed way more Jams than she got. It didnt help that Whiskey Birmingham was injured and wasnt able to make trip out. Also found out that Whiskey is retiring at the end of the season. Thats gonna hurt. Two skaters bailed out at the last minute and that definately had an impact too. The Greenies bus was broke down and they had to scramble to get rental vans to make the hell-drive from Tulsa. The night out at the Blue Crew restaurant kinda was sucky too. Service and food was apparently sub-par. I asked Rosie about their venue and crowd size. She told me that their facility is fine with plenty of room for fans but they average between 300-600 fans for home bouts. She told me that the Indy crowd was intimidating and impressive but the fans were nice to them. We talked about their upcoming bout against Dixie and Memphis. We talked about in-state rivals the VicDolls (OKC). I really liked Rosie...she was very cool to talk to. She said that the Naptown skaters were really cool and great hosts. Unlike some other teams they have played...and no, I'm not gonna name names!

* Dill and Brownie were fantastic this bout. They are always rock solid, but this time they were REALLY impressive. The banter, the jokes, the rules explanations, the keen observations, the chemistry, the experience together...they just get better and better. For my money theres only one announcing team that can hang with those guys...Dumptruck and Bob Noxious. Excellent effort guys!!!

* DJ Sarah Vain, we are SOOO gonna miss you girl! You are the best and have left some very big shoes to fill. Good luck to you Sarah! BTW...I loved hearing "Neat Neat Neat" by the Damned. Very cool. I was rocking out the whole bout.

* I had another fascinating talk with IR Dastardly. Very insightful and illuminating as always. I would just love to hang out and talk Derby with that dude for like an hour or two. I'll buy the brews man!

* If ya didnt notice, the seats were expanded. More wooden seats were brought in and the stadium seats were pushed waaaay back. Dont think that NRG was all too thrilled with that plan since they took out some wooden chairs but were unable to push the stadium seats UP. They are heavy man! There's a lot cooking when it comes to obtaining more room for fans but I'm gonna keep all that under my hat for now. Next year may see some big changes...thats all I'll say. Too many fans are getting ticked that they cant get in and bouts are selling out way quick and a solution must be found. Hey, its a good problem to have and every team in WFTDA PRAYS for that "problem" I can tell ya.

* Once again I scammed one of the few mens XL tees from the visiting teams merch table. Are Derby teams EVER gonna get a clue and print up more mens XL and XXL shirts??? Its money in the bank girls!! Sheeeesh. The shirt I got was hilarious: the front says "Rollergirls are easy..." and the back says "To piss off!". Awesome!! A word of advice to fellow male Derby fans...do NOT wait to get visiting teams tee shirts.If you wander over at half-time or Derby Goddess forbid, the END of the bout, you'll be left out. All I ask is that you get outta MY way so I can get mine first! 8) Heehee. Yeah...like I really NEED more Derby tee's at this point. Actually... I DO need more Derby tees. LOTS more. PILES more. Truck fulls. You had better have noticed that ultra-cool Gotham Girls WFTDA Champs shirt I was sporting too. Too freaking cool.

* Got a chance to talk to Blue "the Natural" Messiah. Her injury is healing ahead of schedule and she's already back to skating. Good luck trying to keep her in full-on rest mode Coach Dastardly and Coach Di!! AINT gonna happen!! I love Blue...she's great. Such a warrior and a sweetheart.

* You KNOW that I wasnt gonna lay low on the news that Mizz U's retirement is imminent.She has officially skated her last bout with our Homegirls. NRG just wont be the same with out her fire. We are all so used to seeing her deliver hard, bone rattling hits and tripping to the penalty box ;). She is a one of a kind Rollergirl and it seems like shes been with us forever. I took a pic of her famous electric blue helmet that the Refs just love to pick out of a crowd and then went over to her and whined, "Dont leave!!". MU-you will be so missed. WE LOVE YOU GIRL! I was glad to hear that yer gonna still be at the bouts. MU has kids that wanna be in sports and its kinda tuff to get the time for that to happen when yer practicing 3-4x a week ya know?? Best of luck to you in all you do Mizz U!

* Do you realise that with this victory that Nap moved up to #34 in the FTS rankings? Yep. And if they can win out against ultra-rivals #35 F Dubb, #56 Dixie and #50 Ohio they will be 4-2 for the season in official WFTDA bouts this season. With a couple of breaks NRG could still crack the top 30 this year. The F Dubb bout will be tuff as usual but its definately a win-able bout. FW has their own injury problems right now too so its gonna be very interesting. DO NOT miss this bout!! I am here to tell ya that its gonna be a serious battle and you will be very sorry if ya dont see it! I wont go into the disparaging remarks made by the FW announcers towards Race City during the FW v Nash bout a few weeks ago but it is ON. The Ohio bout is win-able also. Ohio just seems to run in place for some reason and are still the team that they've been for a while...no better-but no worse. As for Dixie, they havent seen much action yet this year so its hard to say what they'll bring in their home bout against Nap next weekend. Watch that Wicked One and CU Afterclass NRG! Bama Bruiser has taken over as Coach (and still skates too). Bama rules...she is legend.

* Best-dressed awards go out to Diane Beatin, Kitiara and Psych Sandy...you Rollergirls were dressed to KILL!

Well, after a pretty ruff stretch Naptown seems to be back on track and have no doubt learned much from their defeats this season. What is so encouraging to me is the sheer fire and determination that I've seen out of these skaters the past 2 bouts. The look in their eyes, the focus, the will, the never-let-up mentality, and yes, I'm gonna say it...the CHEMISTRY. Its back. Skaters picking each other up and playing as one cohesive, tactful unit. Its a beautiful thing people and its very hard to force. It just happens. Every Rollergirl taking responsibilty for their role and and playing with energy. The pack speed slowing down and speeding up as the situation dictates. The Blockers shutting down the oppositions Jammers and opening holes and gaps for our Jammers...its happening. When I had a chat with Coaches Rick and Fiestylicious I could see their excitement for what this team is capable of. I, for one, cant WAIT to see what happens this year at the Fall Brawl. Yeah, I know that its a ways off-but thats the way I think.

Oh, and I have to interject this: Did ya see that the awesome #3 Philly team beat the #6 Carols last week?? Mmmm hmmm. I love those Liberty City girls. 8) Ha!

Wendy O Sent Me a Gift

2009-04-11T07:50:00.003-05:00

As I'm sure you all know by now I am a full-fledged initiate in the Cult of Wendy O (Williams of Plasmatics fame). Wendy O memorabilia is rare and freaking EXPENSIVE. As much of a Wendy O devotee as I am it is tuff to lay out large sums of cash for some of this stuff. I recently saw the bottom half of a guitar that Wendy had sawed in half with a chainsaw at a Plasmatics show and she had actually SIGNED it. It was posted on Ebay for $1390. I would loooove to have that! Wendy O was openly hostile to people that dared to ask for her autograph and would often just say, "fuck off". Ummmm...Wendy HATES signing. As a result, finding Wendy's autograph can be challenging. I personally dont give a damn about autographs whatsoever but for Wendy I make an exception.

At any rate I am always perusing the Ebay auctions for Wendy O memorabilia and was very surprised to find a copy of the rare book "Plasmatics-Your Heart in Your Mouth"(the First 4 Years)". It was (barely) published way back in 1982 and has been difficult to find. The copies I've seen in the past are either really beat or more $$$ than I want to spend. It IS a fantastic book for Plasmatics/Wendy O fans and is worth finding just for the incredible photos alone. Well, to answer the obvious question, YES I bid on it. Then another bidder jumped in and I let it ride until right up to the last hour of bidding. I then lobbed another bid and waited to be outbid and then waited to see the book run into the $60-$70 range. But then...nothing. NOTHING happened. I won the book for $28! Unreal.

And here's where it all gets a bit strange.My new job position has eaten up way more of my time than I would like and I'm working strange hours. I have been very distracted and as a result I forgot to celebrate Wendy O on the day that she left this world...April 6th. That would normally have NEVER happened, but like I said, I've been very distracted. And then I realized something really strange-I had won this book on the anniversary of Wendy's passing. Bizarre. I mean, there's 364 other days that I could have won the book but I won it on the anniversary of Wendy's death. Thanks for the little gift Wendy! You will always rule and I will never, ever forget you.

Naptown v Green Country Bout Preview!

2009-04-05T09:05:00.003-05:00

The Greenies drive all the way from Tulsa ,OK to bout Race City on April 11th. Currently Nap is ranked #37 while GCRG is at # 42 (FTS, of course). Thus far the Greenies have a record of 2-3 in official WFTDA action and have victories over the VicDolls and Alamo City to their credit. They have to be especially happy with that close win over their in-state rival Oklahoma C. They pulled out that win 96-85, and hopefully will bout the VicDolls again next season. The Greenies got pretty much killed by the Pikes and the Killbillies but had a very respectable showing against Big Easy with a score of 100-81. Upcoming bouts match the Greens against Memphis, Dallas, Alamo (again?) and one of my faves, Dixie. To be frank I wish that GCRG had scheduled a rematch against the VicDolls instead of a rematch against Alamo. Alamo are 1-8 with their one win against NOLA to their credit. I just think that another bout against OKC woulda been way more interesting and I dont see much to be gained from bouting Alamo again.

Anyway, this will be a very competitive bout. I realise that most Nap fans have never even HEARD of Green Country, a fairly new member of WFTDA. But I can tell ya that those Tulsa Rollergirls are gonna bring it! Well...if that hell-drive doesnt burn 'em out too much. By far the star player for the Greenies is Jammer Rosie the Wrecker. She has quite the reputation as a very,very skilled point scorer down in the southwest and will be a major force to be reckoned with. Another talented Jammer is Whiskey Birmingham, who should see quite a bit of action. The renowned Syko Path will most likely be spending the majority of her time at the Pivot position setting the pace for her girls. Mention must be made of Severe Lisa Distik...because her name is freakin' cool!

Tulsa is surprisingly similar to Indy with a similar downtown skyline, population and propensity for tornadic havok. Well, Tulsa would have more tornadoes! Ya know what?? I believe that I've just come up with a perfect name for some new Green Country skater...Tornadic Havok!! Is that a killer name or what?

My gut instinct is that Race City will get their first victory of the season, but it will be hard fought and that would be provided that Naptown looks like they did in the Archies bout. Can the Greenies contain the Amazin' Blazin' Ace?? They do have some hard-hittin' Blockers. Will the lovely Slammy get more Jams?? What about the shin-splint cursed Superhero Shadi?? Will Naps veteran corps of Blockers be able to keep Rosie the Wrecker from scoring a slew of points?? These are questions that immediately pop into my mind leading up to this bout. Tulsa is driving a looooong way to take on Naptown and if they aren't well rested then that drive will definately have an impact on this bout. But if the Greenies get their beauty rest then this should be a real interesting bout. look for the Greens to be dressed in Green and Black with a very cool, sleek logo. And they better bring some merch 'cause it may be a very long time until we get to catch this team in action again anywhere close to here.

I have no idea what the Greens roster will look like but here is my best guess at who may arrive in Indy next weekend:

Rosie the Wrecker
Elektra Violet
Scarlett Devil
Torch Her
Syko Path
Short Circuit
Whiskey Birmingham
Filthy Vicious
Frosty
Jackie the Stripper
Snype-Her
Death by Kitty
Hott Rodd Havoc
Bad A Jenda
Severe Lisa Distik
Jaded

Goths v Bean City Prediction!

2009-03-26T21:31:00.001-05:00

Can any team defeat the Mighty Goths this year? Hey, anythings possible...but the reality is that the skaters of NYC seem too powerful, too deep, too rock solid. too multi-faceted. They COULD slip up but not this weekend. I've been pretty high on the Beans, even after their narrow defeat at the hands of Lovely Charm City, but pulling out a victory against the Goths seems unlikely. Even after the loss of Cheapskate NYC's 1-2 punch of Bonnie and Suzy is as good as any in Derby. I've come to believe that only Windy is capable of beating the Queens of the 5 Boroughs, although it wouldnt shock me if Philly got one over on them. At this point I really would be surprised if the Mighty Gothic Queens of the Big Bad Apple didnt finish the year as repeat WFTDA Champs. But hey-stranger things have happened. Some Witch Doctor could lay down a wicked voodoo curse on NYC. Or Beyonslay could accidentally crash into both Bonnie and Suzy at practice and all 3 could get layed out. Or we could all wake up in the morning and suddenly find that time had reversed itself and its actually 2001. Or the Beans could sneak into the Goths locker room and put metal wheels on all their skates. Or...ummmm...late Saturday nite we could all find out that the Queens are STILL absolutely freaking killer and they've taken yet another in a long string of victories. Yep, the latter seems most likely.

Sorry Bean City...ya know I still have yer back. But beating those NYC Rollergirls is a waaaaay tall order. Goths by 30.

Naptown v Archies Bout Recap or the Glorious Return of Ace

2009-03-23T09:23:00.006-05:00

It is possible that one gifted athlete in a team sport can elevate the play and energy of all her team mates and influence the very spirit of a team. You know...Peyton Manning, Reggie Miller, the Amazin' Blazin' Ace. The return of Naptown's star skater last Saturday night was truly incredible. It was about midway thru Ace's 2nd Jam when it hit me how I had forgotten how absolutely freakin' GREAT she is. The speed...the moves...the evasion...the sheer talent. Around the time she was into her 4th Jam I realised that she means the world to this team. I got so caught up in the moment when all the fans in turn 1 started chanting in unison, "Ace! Ace! Ace! Ace!". She was so focused I dont think she even heard us. Ace is not on myspace and I dont think she even "does" the internet. Taking care of several kids and a majorly busy life get in the way of such time consuming endevours ya know? But maybe she'll get word of this blog and it'll make her smile. At one point I passed Mr Ace and said, "Damn I'm glad yer wife is back!". We all are. And she's back for the rest of the season. Next year??? Hmmmm...it looks pretty sketchy. So make sure you let Ace know how much she means to this Derby community! I've already started "working on" Mr Ace to try to convince her to come back next year. She is "our" STAR and we love her! Ace would kick total ass on any team in WFTDA and there is no doubt about that.

Having said all that I would like to state that even though there may have been some disapointment with having suffered a loss there was a lot to be optimistic about. Although there were a few occasions where control of pack speed was an issue I would have to say that the cohesion of Naptowns Blockers was very, very good. There was just a different energy in this bout...an energy that I haven't seen since last season. The Race City skaters played such a focused game and never gave up on a Jam. Not even near the end of the bout when it was apparent that a win was going to evade them. But make no mistake- win or no, Nap is BACK. And you all have to know that I LOVED that Angel of Naptown Jam! You know that! I had a hoarse voice the rest of the night after that Jam because I was yelling "Jooooaaaan!!" so much. I'm serious. Every starter had their moments. Coach Rick just didnt want to risk Slammy getting reinjured so she didnt Jam nearly as much as I wanted her too or believed that she would. Superhero Shadi was limited in her appearences as Jammer due to shin splints still aggravating her. Shin splints take forever to heal...they suck. The Chosen One was her usual consistent, point scoring self. I really liked what I saw from Our Homegirls this bout and if too much time in the penalty box hadn't gotten in the way this game would have come down to the last Jam I believe.

This game was called VERY tight and at times I thought got too "ticky-tacky". Elbows are elbows in every bout. It's like in Football...you could literally call a holding penalty on every possession but only the most blatant holds are called for the sake of the game. Same with elbows in Derby. Unless it's blatant or directly affects the scoring in the Jam just swallow yer freakin' whistle already! Let the game flow and let the best players PLAY. Thats all.

Now on to some 'lil bullet points:

* Can I just come right out and admit something?? I wanna just say here and now that I have got the most intense Derby crush in a long while. I first started to feel this Derby crush at the Fall Brawl last year and after this bout it had become a REAL, full-on Derby crush. Ya mighta noticed her kicking ass and playing her usual classy game with speed, athleticism, style and flair. She has a glow...a positive energy that just flows from her. Yeah...Chokehold Chanel. #5. She is too cool. She has become one of my very favorite Rollergirls in all of Rollerdom. I saw her before the bout and she skated over and gave me a hug and said hi and it seemed like I had just seen her at Fall Brawl a couple of weeks ago or something. She got blocked into the suicides at one point and some disgusting a-hole grabbed her "inappropriately". Her hubby, Mr Pink, dashed over to do some damage to the said a-hole but order was restored and Mr A-Hole was ejected before Mr Pink broke his face. I have never seen an Indy fan do that, and better not see it again. But Chanel is pure class and she just let it go. From what she told me this could be her last year with the Travel Team because she wants to start a family. I can understand that, but I hope that she remains with the Smashinistas or has some kinda role with ARRG because really she is unreplaceable. She really is. I guess that Keligula may be the skater chosen to fill #5's big skates. And since Artemischeif is already an excellent Jammer the Archies may be okay. But there is only one Chanel. And I will forever treasure that pic of her giving me a peck on the cheek! *swooon* Love ya Chanel!

* Speaking of crushes...
Before I go into this next bit I want to make something unmistakeably clear: Naptown has my heart. I am "their guy" okay? They are the reason I have developed my "likeability gauge". They are the standard so dont freak on me when I say that there are a few teams out there that I adore too okay? Just because I'm "married" doesn't mean that I dont know how attractive other teams out there are ya know?? And so yes...there is the "likeability gauge". On a scale from 1-10 how likeable is a team? How approachable are they? How do they treat fans? How do they treat the opposition on and off the track? How COOL are they? Are they fun to just hang with? Yep...the likeability qoutient. Not counting Nap there is only 2 other teams that I adore as much as the Archies. TWO. If you know me you know how crazy I am for Brew City. They are one of the coolest teams on the planet (and NO I dont care how many games they win...has nothing to do with it for me). I will ALWAYS be a Brew City fan because I love their team, they are a blast to hang with and have some of the most friendly skaters in WFTDA ( shout out to Grace, Romaniac, Servin', Swingwreck and especially Seoul!!). And then there's the Rocks (Rocky Mtn). I have come to really love Frida and the skaters of RMRG. They have loads of talent and carry themselves with humor and class. The next time they come out to the midwest I need to drive out and see them. But back to the Archies...yeah, I'm feeling the love. I told Coach Magnum that I couldn't wait to see how they did WHEN they got into the Regionals this year. And trust me...they will be there. I believe in the Archies, and for good reason as you witnessed. If a team scores low on the likeability quotient that doesn't mean that I won't give 'em credit for what they accomplish on the track but likeability matters! We all know of some teams that aren't that likeable. Ya know...the ones that don't show for the Afterparty, or DO show and act obnoxious or stand-offish. Fuck that. Rollergirls should respect Rollergirls and recognise that they and we are all a part of this rebirth of Derby. Go ahead and play dirty or be snotty. Just don't ask me to support ya, that's all.

* At one point after the bout a guy with long hair came up to me and said that he was thrilled to see that there was another Wendy O fan representing ( I was wearing a Plasmatics tee 'natch). And we shook hands and got to talking about the greatnes that IS Wendy and how crazy we were about her. I directed him to a few DVD's that you can find and he clued me in on Juliette (Lewis) and the Licks. Good call dude!! I checked out the Licks and I was impressed...that girl can ROCK! Check out her stuff on youtube! One of my missions in life is to do all I can to keep the memory of Wendy O Williams alive. I will never forget her and how much she meant/means to me. Never.

* DJ Sarah Vain. I dont know if I have really given her any props in the past but I REALLY admire her song selection. She pulls out so many great, old punk and goth faves. And she's such a sweetheart too. And I totally forgive her for not being into the Donnas. Even tho the Donnas RULE THIS WORLD! Allison is the most killer female axe-slinger in the land other than maybe Ruyter of Nashville Pussy. Anyway DJ Sarah...Nap bouts just wouldn't be the same without you girl!

* Got a chance to talk to Sin and we had a VERY interesting conversation. VERY interesting. And no I can't divulge anything here because she might punch me in the neck if I did and I kinda need my neck. BTW Sin, yer man is one cool dude. Nice to talk to someone thats so into Rugger! And PLAYS Rugby.

* Also got a chance once again to talk to Coach Rick and Fiestylicious. I really value those conversations because I gain some fresh insight into my Homegirls on some of the details that I probably wouldn't otherwise get. And no, I cant divulge that chatter either. I know...I'm a tease. I just need to keep that shit personal.

* I would like to thank Will H for being such a good guy. I appreciate ya man!! I will see ya on Tuesday at the comedy club for yer stand-up and I need to buy ya a beer or 2.

* Did anyone else notice the F-Dubb contingent over in turn 3?? Mmmmm hmmmm. Checkin' out our beloved Homegirls and taking notes and hating just a 'lil bit. Sometimes I think my admiration for Kitty is a one way street but that's okay. I STILL think she's awesome anyway. I wonder if Bang Bang is gonna be with the FW squad when they come down to Indy soon. She was injured last I heard and I haven't been checking up on the F-Dubb this year. Hope Pushycat doesnt bring that riding crop of hers...OW! Be careful around her when she's armed.

* It was really shocking to meet anyone that was as much of an obsessive-compulsive Derby freak as me. But Smarty McFly IS!!! Can't believe how up on Derby that girl is! Rock on Smarty! She was "twittering" away and giving me all the scores that I was lusting for. Said that she watches some bouts 3-4 times! Are you my long lost Sister or something? kindred spirits her and I. That skater knows her shit. Speaking of knowing shit, IR Dastardly knows his shit too. Man, I would liked to have had a chance to talk to him a lot more than I did. The few conversations I've had w/ IR have been pretty fascinating.

* I apparently got the ONLY XL short sleeve black AARG tee that the merch folks brought with them. Heehee!! I will treasure it Archies. I'm thinking that it's gonna get as worn out as my Naptown and Beer City tees. And it should also be noted that I touched the Archies panties before the bout...hell yes. Touched BOTH of them. Helmet panties are sexy!!

* It's a long shot but I would really really like to get out to St L for that Archies v F-Dubb bout coming in August. Who do ya figure I'll be yelling my ass off for?? Yeah...you KNOW that. Total Archies love to the max!! I want to see as much of Chanel as I can ya know?? Adoration calls...

* Before the bout Coach Magnum and I had a 'lil chat. And then at the Afterparty when I saw him come thru the door I said, "Hey man, dont go to the bar down here 'cause it'll take forever, lets go upstairs". And then I said, "And yer not paying for this beer either". Then Magnum said, "Ya wanna shot?". He then proceeded to buy me a shot of Jaeger! Friend for life man!! Magnum is a great guy and so is Hoosier Daddy. Class dudes and great Derby Coaches.

* ARRG brings around 800-900 fans at their home bouts and they skate on sport-court and really like the surface. But their facility, according to them, isn't all that great. There's no elevated seating at all and that's a drag. They are gonna keep trying to find a better facility and may have a lead on a future home but it's a little ways off. Several of the Archie skaters commented on what a great facility NRG has and how much they loved it. Too true. Frankly, ARRG deserve to be playing in front of at least 2500-3000 fans for their home bouts. They really do.

* For those that were wondering where in the hell Wally Wabash was...he was out of town to attend a WEDDING for pity's sake so make sure and give him loads of shit for missing the best bout of the season!! Tee hee!

* Kitiara...you are a darling, plain and simple. An absolute darling. Love that Motorhead bullet-belt you were wearing too.

* Dora the Destroyah/xMeganx...nice to finally meetcha Rollergirl. I don't want to embarrass you or anything but you have have the most beautiful hair! Kinda like Kitty Kiljoys style. And so you know that's cool...

* I had such a blast at the Afterparty! Best Afterparty of the year so far. As is my tradition I walked in, went upstairs, got my beer and walked over to the nearest table full of visiting skaters and sat right down. 8) Yeah, thats me. Great conversations with the Archies Rollergirls! I fell like I've known this team for years. Absorbed loads of info that only folks like me (and Smarty McFly) obsess over and filed it all away in my Derby-soaked brain for later recall. And oh yeah...THANK YOU to whoever with NRG worked it out so we have Afterparties at Birdy's!! Love that place. Lots of room, 2 bars, quiet space in the poolroom if needed and just an all around excellent venue for partying. No diss to Locals Only but we had simply outgrown it. Birdy's rocks!

Well, that about wraps it up this time out. just one more thing needs to be said and then I'm outta here: Chanel...will you marry me?? ;)

Do not sanitize Roller Derby!!!

2009-03-16T18:34:00.002-05:00

There has been much chatter lately regarding "obscene" Derby names and the thought that these names harm the marketability and elevation of Roller Derby as a legitimate sport. Frankly, as I'm sure many of you will agree, Roller Derby is already legitimate and to "sanitize" the sport that we all love to make it more palatable for the masses strikes me as ridiculous. Mainstreaming Derby is not exactly a goal I embrace...especially if it means that Derby loses its edge and underground appeal. Why is there a real need to "tone down" funny, obscene and drug-tinged names when Derby is growing at such an incredible rate as it is?? Perhaps the lowbrow flavor is a part of it's appeal. I really do not want to see real names used either. This precedent has already been set and omigod what an incredibly BORING precedent it is. If Derby has to discourage such classic names as Robin Drugstores, Pussy Venom, Muff Thumper and Firecrotch then what kind of mainstream names are acceptable to the mainstream? I mean, Princess America and Bonnie Thunders are perfectly fine names but I ADORE names like Nokka Ho Down. Lemmy from Motorhead once said quite famously, "Who are you NOT to be offended?". Yes...who indeed are you NOT to be offended??! Offend! Rebel! Piss on the status quo. One of the main reasons that modern Roller Derby is so appealing is that it ISN'T mainstream!

Some great Derby names that may offend:

Milwaukees Breast (Brew City)
Va Va Va Gina (the Angels)
Perky Set (the Hammers)
Ivanna S Pankin (AZ)
Holly Would (AZ)
Pussy Venom (the Beans)
Honey Suckit (Deeeetroit)
Rubher Ducky (Dom)
Tronsexual (the Dukies)
Amanda Jamitinya (the Dukies)
Keisha Mei Ash (G Rag)
Hall Balls (KC)
Killy Liqourbottom (OH)
Robin Drugstores (Liberty City)
Ho J Simpson (the Rocks)
Firecrotch (the Rosies)
Megan M Wett (the Sinners)
Seemore Butts (the Sinners)
Muffin Tumble (the Originals)
Nokka Ho Down (the Tramps)
Two-bit Ore (the Tramps)
Jackie the Stripper (Greens)
Eurine A Hole (Nash)

Do your part to fight boring sanitization and for pity's sake discourage wholeheartedly the use of real names!! Keep Derby FUN!

Naptown v Archies bout Preview!!

2009-03-10T21:27:00.002-05:00

Aaaaaahhh yes...the incomparable Archies. The team the rest of you may know as Arch Rivals. They hail from the land of Budweiser, Arches and Cardinals and are taking the Derby world by storm. For my money the Archies are the most exciting, fastest rising team in all the land. YES- they lost against Deeeetroit (most do) and YES- they lost against KC....BARELY. They played tuff as nailz the whole bout and KC was lucky to escape with a victory 89-80. It needs to be noted here that KC was ranked #1 for a good chunk of last year and are waaaaay more experienced than those Archies. Very, very impressive. St L has a record of 3-4 since joining the "Major Leagues" and have defeated G Rag, NWA and No Coast besides winning the Fall Brawl last year in a rather unexpected classic showing. This team is scheduling SERIOUS heavyweights with upcoming bouts against the Crushers, my beloved Beer City and the Dukies! And thats after bouting against Car City and KC already. DAMN!! Whatta freakin' schedule.

With a Jammer corps of cool as hell Chokehold Chanel, Artemischief, Eva Lasting Jawbreaker and the Siege the Archies are set. They block VERY well, they scheme well, they have excellent team chemistry (ya know that), they are disciplined and have great Coaching. Weaknesses??? Hmmmmm. Honestly, I dont see any glaring weaknesses that can be exploited. Ya cant even use the 'ole "inexperience" card against these Rollergirls because they play together like a team thats been around for years (like NStar?). Shit, ya wanna know how to beat this team??? BLOCK better than them. JAM better than them. Stay the living hell outta the penalty box at all costs. Run yer scheme and be ready to adjust if it doesnt go down as planned. Show more tuffness and heart than them. And most importantly, if ya wanna get one up on the Archies, ya HAFTA have killer chemistry. Out chemistry the "Girls of Chemistry".

With Nap's most experienced Jammers coming back ( Ace, Slammy and hopefully Shadi the Superhero) Indy has the opportunity to stay in this bout. Certainly, if NRG plays like they did last season then they have the opportunity to win. The spirit that was so apparent last season must resurface and all the Nap skaters hafta be on the same page. Tactical schemes must be adjustable and must be made quickly so a hole isnt dug that is too deep to be overcome in the second half. Nap's deep, experienced Blockers must not only defend but also create chances for the Jammers to "shoot the gap" and score every f'n point possible. This is going to be a VERY tuff bout for Race City but if NRG wants to right the ship and show that they have the grit that it takes to beat a killer team like the Archies than they need to show it now. Currently the Archies are ranked #20 and Naptown is ranked at #39 (FTS 'natch!). NRG has to play a full 60 like they have something to prove and trust me...if they beat St L they will have made one helluva statement. CHEMISTRY people. Chemistry. Its golden...rare...impossible to force...it's being in synch with each other and loving each other. Its picking up your teamates spirit when they are down and disheartened (and when they have made a mistake or two). Its playing as one with a wink and a nod. Its f'n GOLD.

the Archies likely roster:

Artemischief (getting better every bout)
Jenny Bonebreak
Eva Lasting Jawbreaker
the too cool 4 school Chokehold Chanel (love her)
the Siege
Overland Offender
the Educator
Ana Warpath ( stay outta her way)
Eli Wallop
Grave Danger (?? hurt??)
Killer Tomato
Mayor Francis Slayer
Davey Blockit
Riddle Lynn (cool name!)

C ya at the bout Derby peeps. You can recognize me by the new Plasmatics shirt I'll be sporting. "Undermine the Satus Quo"...always.

Four Corner Feud Predictions!

2009-02-20T16:48:00.004-06:00

Yes Derby addicts, this weekend is the 4 Corners Feud and I'm here with some predictions for ya to chew on. Six teams will compete for the FCF prize...braggin' rights and a bathtub full of cheap Margerita's! As for myself. I dont touch Margerita's anymore. Ya see....me and 'lil ole Margerita had a bit of a disagreement waaaay back and well...Margerita KICKED MY SORRY ASS! And I'm not going back there again. But some of you may still like Margerita, maybe even LOVE her. But not me. You can have a bathtub full. And I dont need that brown paper bag full of Peyote buttons neither you desert dwellin' psychos. Hey I'm allowed to say that-I used to dwell in the Land of Enchiladas. Thats New Mex to you.

On to the bouts we go...all rankings are FTS just to throw people off.

#20 Denver v #28 Tuscon

Ya know, one of these days I'm really gonna have to come up with some kinda nicks for these 2 teams. I'll jump right in and tell ya that I'm laying big money on Denver in this one. Denver schedules some Major League games but come out on the losing end most every time. I do respect the fact that they arent afraid to go up against the likes of KC, the Rosies, the Carols and the Mighty Gothic Queens (who laid a serious beat down on them...221-37. OW.). Eventually all this painful experience is gonna pay off and the Major League brutes that they've gotten nailed by will make them strong. More than strong enuff to defeat the inconsistent Tuscon. Will Tuscon be able to overcome the many losses that they've suffered the last few years? They keep taking on the big hitters and except for a win against Dom they just keep on faltering. I keep thinking that at some point they're gonna sneak up and knock someone out...but it never happens (except for that one time when they caught the Rocks sleepin'). And it wont happen Saturday either. Denver shall triumph.

#17 the Pikes v #40 Cactus City

Do I need to even say that the Pikes are gonna emerge victorious in this bout? They have been impressive in the last year and despite slips against killer teams like KC, the Dukes and the Rocks they have a totally solid, physical team that is capable of pulling off a major upset, much less worrying about emerging victorious against the spiralling AZ. Cactus City went down to the Rosies, Sac City and the Rocks last year and there is nothing but a vague, fuzzy memory of the days when they used to defeat teams like the Rats and the Madolls. A VERY distant memory. Wonder what would happen if AZ and Tuscon joined forces and became a Phoenix Superteam?? Then the Pikes would hafta be scared...and only then. But until then Psycho Babble will be smiling at the afterparty and sharing a Margerita with Deranged.

#11 the Dukies v Denver or Tuscon

Hell yes I'm gonna pick this one because frankly it doesnt really matter whether the Dukies face off against Den or Tuscon does it?! Dukes all the way...flat out. And it wont be close either. With the Dukies skating soon in their new digs they hafta be full of energy and optimism, to say nothing of the amazing run that they had last year. I still wanna see what they do this season to totally buy in but really the Dukes have always been competitive. And its not like they have a pool of skaters like NYC or Chi-town does to pull from. From the Land of Entrapment they come...and this time they're not gonna be sneaking up on anyone. The 'Burque will be proud. Some of you Albucrackee fans will be obligated to buy Muffin, Kamikazee and the gang some Huevos Rancheros at the Frontier upon their return! deal?

#15 the Killer Rocks v the Pikes or AZ

Lets face it-the Rocks are gonna be going up against the Pikes in this one and for my cash it'll be, hands down, the best bout of the Tournament. The Pikes would just love to get some revenge and shoot down the Rocks and indeed they are capable of doing so. They're physical, they have some depth, and have a nice corps of Jammers. I really like da Pikes. But just not as much as I like the Rocks. I freakin' love Rocky Mtn. I am gonna come right out and say that I think that they're gonna win this 4 Corner Feud. I mean...I hate to bring this up...but this is the same team that beat down a fine Prov squad 137-9!! Really!! They also beat Bean City and that one shocked the hell outta me. On the flip side Tuscon snuck some sleeping pills in the Rocks Aquafina and RM ended up going down to them in a very close bout 96-92. Ummmm...what!?? But yeah-sign me up. The Killer Rocks are champs and they'll play like champs this weekend. How ya like me now Frida?

To be continued...

NRG Warning Belles v NEO

2009-02-16T17:37:00.005-06:00

Saturday was a very surreal experience for me. I received a call from my biker buddy Shel who told me that one of our friends had died from a sudden massive stroke. Two years ago he had won a court case against a former employer and was awarded a HUGE sum of cash. He went out and bought every toy he had ever wanted. He grew up in our "old neighborhood" and was one of the gang. As a result, because of some lengthy phone conversations, I missed the D and B pre-bout gathering.All of this on top of my Dads battle against cancer that has been tougher than we thought it was going to be. He has missed chemo a few times now due to a low white blood cell count. Cancer is a bitch. I must admit that in light of all the other weird things that had happened the last few weeks ( I know that you know what I mean) I was considering blowing off the Belles v NEO bout. To be frank...I wasnt sure that I was in the frame of mind to absorb any more negative energy. I felt drained. I was really down.

Then, as I was considering bailing out, I just got dressed and headed out the door. I was on full auto-pilot as I headed out to the fairgrounds. And I didnt have a ticket either. I expected that I would be participating in the Derby TV show and would be able to get in when Dill and the gang headed in after the pre-bout deal. But the TV show didnt happen due to some vague reason (the University wasnt participating as expected, student manpower, etc, etc.). So I made a call to a buddy who hooked me up (thanx man-you know who you are!). I arrived at the Fairgrounds and the said friend came out and gave me the ticket. Still feeling very removed from my body I wandered in VERY early and there was already a crowd forming. And here is what I experienced:

* When I went in I was greeted by a fan nicknamed "Bear", an OTR trucker who had never gotten the chance to go to a bout before. He walked over to me and said, "Are you Biker Dave?". And so we talked about Derby. Then Amby saw me and came over and gave me a big hug and said she wanted me to join her at the front of the line. I always feel kinda self-conscious about that going to the front of the line kinda stuff, but went anyway. No one seemed to really care. She had brought her son and he was "holding" our place. As we waited a fan passed out and the paramedics scooped her up and took her in to get checked out. She was coming out of her fainting spell as they carried her in and she seemed somewhat dazed and embarrased. She was fine.

* When we were allowed in Amby took off to get primo seats in turn 1 and I walked over to NEO's merch table and scoped out an awesome tee that was designed to look like the cover to Kiss's "Destroyer" album. They had only ONE XL and I said, "I've GOT to have that!" and bought it immediately. Apparently I had missed 4 Leaf Cleaver waving at me, which she reminded me of later (sorry 4 Leaf! I would never knowingly not acknowledge you!). I saw Brutha Tom K and stashed my heavy ass leather jacket behind his merch table. I always love talking to Tom, he's a great guy. I wandered over to turn 1 and ran into Smackie O. We had a very nice conversation and must say that she is such a blessing to NRG! You are too cool Smackie...thanx for the good vibes.

* Had several interesting conversations with some fans I hooked up with Lux. Got hugs from a few of the Siren Rollergirls and I was beginning to pull out of my fairly depressed state. Talked to Wally Wabash, Mr Flake and some more of the "regulars". I met Entropy which was nice. Saw Willy J Madden who could cheer anyone up (he IS a stand-up comedian ya know). Before long it was time for the bout to start and I was feeling that Derby energy welling up from within and my mood was shifting to excitable.

* As I fully expected Blue jammed brilliantly considering that this was only her second bout. I am really excited about that Rollergirl! I had named her Blue "Meanie" but screw that...from here on out I will refer to her as "the Natural". I like to think that I have a pretty damn good eye for Jammer talent and I am here to tell ya that "the Natural" is going to be a freaking excellent Jammer for the Sirens before long (sorry I.R.). She just has that rare IT factor. Really. When I consider the relatively short length of time that she has been skating I'm very impressed. She is on her way. Believe that!

* I had never even seen Noxious Donna skate but I had gotten some advanced reports that she was pretty damn good and she didnt disappoint at all. One of the things that made an impression on me is her self-confidence and swagger. I LOVE that in a Jammer and she's going to be another very interesting young talent to keep an eye on. Swagger is only worth a damn if ya back it up and she did.

* Is Ana Slays Ya/"Rockstar" gonna be w/the Belles permanently? Or was this just a way to get some more rink experience under her belt? I really believe that she made one helluva Pivot. Set the pace well, blocked where she needed to and helped to open up holes for her Jammer. I would have never thought of putting her at Pivot but it waa a stroke of genius by I.R.!! VERY nice work Rockstar! I think that I like her better at Pivot than Jammer at this point.

* Can I say that Psych-em-out Sandy took a real leap this bout? I guess I just did. I felt that this was her best bout performance. She laid some NEO skaters OUT! She opened up gaps for her Jammers and played with spirit and FIRE. I was truly impressed at her progress this time out...are you reading this Sandy?? Stick it out Rollerhead! We love you...

* It was nice to finally see Elle Conquistador out on the track! I was wondering if this skater even existed!! I spoke to her briefly and we laffed over the fact that her picture was a black silhouette in the bout program...the lady of mystery.

* At half time I ended up talking to Mizz Understood for about 15 minutes and that skater really delivered some healing energy to my weary soul. MU put my mind at ease and made me feel GREAT. MU...you probably dont even read this blog but I hope that ya hear thru the inevitable grapevine that I really, really needed that conversation. For real...thanx MU!! You f'n rule.

* I hafta say that I was pretty impressed with 'lil Teeny Houdini. If she can learn to get down nice and low like the Chosen One than she will be very, very good as a Jammer for NEO. How in the hell wouldja lay a legal hit on that Teeny if she got reeeaaal low??? Ya couldnt! She was cool. When I finally met up with her at the Afterparty she was kinda shy, and I was lucky to get a pic with her. I like Teeny!!

* It became fairly apparent early on in the second half that there was no way that NEO was gonna dig their way outta the hole that they had dug in the first half. I was struck by how CONFIDENT the Belles looked out on the floor. The chemistry was very strong and as I've said before...if you have a strong team chemistry you will go far. Beyond your talent, skill-level or bout experience. And when you add in the fact that the Belles HAVE some talent and skills you have a potent mix. It will be interesting to see how they fair against ROCK next month on the road...

* It was also nice to see Valerie Hurtinelli skating for the Belles. While not quite the mythic figure that Elle had become ,I was starting to wonder if I would ever see this Rollergirl skate!! Good job out there Val!

* Bear told me that he wanted to go to the Afterparty but he needed to find a ride and I said, "Ride over with me dude!". And so he did. He patiently waited for me to take my pix, rap to skaters and take for f'n ever to finish up my post-bout ritual. We got out to the classic Saab turbo and ripped over to Birdy's for some festivity. Some MUCH needed festivity as far as I was concerned. Bear bought me a beer so hey he must be a true Derby fan! Ha! I hooked up with NEO skaters Chrissie B Hynde, Twin Pistol, Pepper Insult (nice bruise!! Heehee!) and Suicide Blonde. They were, of course, blown away by Naptowns crowd. We have heard this before havent we?? Yeah...we know we KICK ASS. Anyway, after getting Twin to blush by remarking how many guys in the crowd "oohed and aaahed" over her I found out that NEO's tee-shirt deal kinda sucked so I'm gonna hook those girls up w/a much better tee-shirt deal thru a guy I work with who has a side business screen printing for Racing teams. A MUCH better deal. Gotta get Suicide hooked up! BTW...I thought that those NEO skaters were awesome...very friendly and full of heart. They will do well, they just really need more fan support to feed their will and ambition. Fan support is something that NRG hasnt had to stress over too much. Naptown is a fan-magnet.

* I found this bout to be a healing salve for a depressed and anxious soul. I needed to be with my Derby people more than I can express here but believe me when I say that it couldnt have come at a more critical time. When I finally left at 2AM I was feeling a little drained...but a GOOD drained. An optimism somehow found its way into my heart when I needed it. Yeah...the Derby Goddess sent me Her 'lil believers to see that somehow, some way I left that bout in a far better condition that the one I was in earlier that day. Thank you Derby Goddess!! Praise to you!

Out!

Alan Streets - Sublime Cityscapes

2009-02-08T10:35:00.004-06:00

Alan Streets is an incredible young artist from England who now lives in NYC and paints everyday ( when the weather allows) outdoors from Sunrise to sunset. His cityscapes are absolutely incredible. I hope to be able to buy one of his paintings. Some go for as little as $600. His medium is acrylics on canvas. You can see the documentary "My Name is Alan and I Paint Pictures" on OVTV on Feb. 15th. This excellent documentary will air 3 times that day. Hopefully you get Ovation TV and will be able to catch it. I am very impressed by Alans commitment to his art and the long hours that he puts in everyday to become the best painter that he can be. You can go to alanstreets.com to check out his paintings that he is currently selling. I believe that Alan Streets is the most incredible painter that I have seen in years and would simply like to spread the word about him and his art.

My "Gut Instinct" Rankings- Top 15

2009-02-07T09:20:00.003-06:00

Ya know...I cant really get with the politically-influenced WFTDA rankings and I have seen the inherent weakness in the math-geek FTS rankings. I still REALLY pay attention to the math-geek rankings tho (love those dudes at FTS!). And so I have to say that the DNN Power Rankings is very cool. And 1-4 I would totally agree with DNN's set list, but after that??? Mmmmmm...thats where I would have to offer up my own rankings. Based not a bit on politics and only somewhat on algorithms I have developed my own setlist. My criteria is strictly gut instinct. So here ya go:

1- the Mighty Gothic Queens of the Universe
Who else?? Are u kidding? Right now the Queens are in their own world. Its them and then the fight for 2nd place. Unless Suzy Hotrod, Bonnie Thunders and Cheap Skate quit the team today its the Mighty Goths and everyone else.

2- the Crushers
Chi-town deserve 2nd place, no question about it. They have proven themselves in battle and they will likely remain 2nd to the Goths. I wouldnt be shocked to see them nailed by Liberty or the Original Muthas, but yeah...a solid 2nd.

3- Liberty City
Philly really blew me away last year. I have come to believe in Liberty in a BIG way. And DNN?? I gotta admire ya for placing them one notch ahead of the O.M.'s and I totally agree with the ranking. On the right night the Cheese-steaks are capable of beating anyone. But dont u dare bet against NYC.

4- the Original Muthas
TX is very capable of defeating Liberty or Windy but for right now they ARE 4th. Just dont piss them off tho. They have a way of making you painfully aware of the fact that they started this whole thing and are more than capable of teaching everyone a lesson real quick-like.

5- the Carols
It seems that I rubbed some o' those Carols the wrong way. And I heard about the disses directed my way a few weeks ago but I dont let that get in the way of my gut instinct ya know. If the Carols played the Rats or the BADasses tonite my cash would be on the Carols...flat out. And some of you Carols may not like me but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever get in the way of my Princess America worship. Ya got that? P.A.- I am madly in love with you. Absolutely on my top 10 list of Modern Derby Jammers.

6- the BADasses
Here's where I just wish I would have watched a lot more footage of a team. I will make the commitment right now to watch as much of the BADasses as time allows the next month or so. I KNOW they are real good. I KNOW they are very skilled. But I really need to delve into the details on this team. Still...gut instinct mandates that they go here...in 6th.

7- Bean City
Yeah, this is a serious jump but I just FEEL like these Rollergirls are 7th. Hey, there's no explaining the vague preferences of the instinct ya know? There's just something about this squad that I totally buy into. Plus ya really gotta believe in ANY team that has a skater named Pussy Venom dontcha?? Thats worth a couple of notches right there! PLEASE tell me that there's a Pussy Venom tee shirt...gotta have one. NOW.

8- the Rosies
the Roses absolutely blew me away more than a few times last year and for good reason...they are freaking kick ass. Before this year is out I fully expect them to make a major run in the Nationals unless something really weird happens. UFO abduction, Firecrotch gets arrested, ya know...THAT kinda shit. The Rosies are killer. Believe that West Coasters!

9- Deeeetroit
At this point I fully expect some heat. I mean, the Rats are probably writing me hate mail about now. But hey, there's no explaining my instinct. Car City just feels right at #9 to me. AND they have one of the greatest Jammers in the land- Racer McChaseher. Any team w/Racer is gonna be badass 'kay? In all seriousness, if I had to get with my Derby bookie today and place a bet on a D-town v Rats game, or a Car City v KC bout, or a Deeetroit v Dukes game ,uuuhhhh...my $$$ are totally on Racer and her girls. Sorry.

10- the Rats
Coffee City probably wants to kill me by now but I call 'em like I see 'em. It just seems to me that something has slipped w/this team in the last year. They've lost a few skaters and I dont think that the team chemistry was the same as in years past. They could come back this year and prove me wrong. Or they could continue to slowly slip down the ladder. We shall see.

11- the Dukies
I was very seriously tempted to put them at #12. Really. Good thing I dont live in Albucrackee anymore because Kamikazee Kim would probably go off on me big time. Yes, they had an incredible run in the Tournament last year and shocked everyone. Yes, they have an impressive squad with a whole lotta heart. But I just need to see more of this team before I'm ready to rank them higher than 11th. What I'm saying I guess is that their run last year may have been a little fluke-ish. Or maybe not. If they make a run again this year than yeah...sign me up. I'll be a total believer.

12- Lovely Charm City
I adore you Charmers...you know that. LCC will continue to rise up this year. Maybe its just a hunch but I think that the Charmers are gonna shock a few teams and I was seriously tempted to put them higher than #12. SERIOUSLY tempted. All opponents of Lovely Charm...you have been warned. I love this team.

13- the Rocks
What??? No freakin' KC YET?? Am I out of my Jaeger-chuggin' mind?! No. The Rocks are poised to be the team that they were born to be now. That, and I just have a strong instinct about these skaters. I would be a bit surprised if RM didnt finish higher than #13 at the end of the year. They have the skills to move on up if they keep developing.

14- the Warriors
Finally. Look, KC could bounce back and it wouldnt be like they snuck up on anyone. But there's no getting around the fact that the loss of Snot Rocket is a serious blow. Is there anyone who didnt think she was one of the most incredible Jammers ever?? And what about Xcelerator?? She retired too I guess. Thats gotta REALLY suck for the Warror fans.Look...beg, plead, cajole, blackmail, do whatever ya gotta do to get one of these Jammers back into the fold KC. I mean, maybe you've got some young, fast, outstanding all-world Jammers that I am not aware of but losing both of those all-stars is a killer. Will KC ever be #1 again? Honestly...I just dont think so.

15- the Pikes
In my mind there's a major drop off between #15 and #16 and the Pikes make the cut at #15. They won a few they shoulda lost and lost a few they shoulda maybe won but you can say this about the Pikes...they weren't boring. I will be curious to see if they can continue to build on what they accomplished last year or whether they begin to back-slide. Still...#15 feels about right and they hafta be admired for turning their team around the way they did last year, And I've gotta say too that the Pikes have a nice 1-2 punch in sisters Psycho Babble and Deranged. REAL nice.

Just going top 15 here. Maybe I'll get around to 16-30 at some point when I have a little more time on my hands.

10 things I am sure that you dont know about me...

2009-02-03T17:43:00.003-06:00

1- I am a total Indiaphile. Which means that I have an unquenchable interest in Indian culture, religion, art and cinema. And yes, Bollywood stuff too. My obsession with India began many years ago and I have some pretty cool Indian stuff that I have managed to collect. India is the ultimate dichotomy...incredibly beautiful but also terribly ugly. I like to think of India as representative of the human condition. I have a keen interest in Shaktism...you can google it.

2- Back in the '80's, when I was a wild youngster (as opposed to a wild oldster) I was the Lead Vocalist/Lyricist for Bent, an old-school Goth band. My stage name was Dave Grave. We did fairly well. We broke up due to all the typical band drama that kills off way too many bands, at which point I became Lead Vocalist for a metal band w/a nice Goth vibe called the Web. And yes, after too much band drama we also broke up (translation: I shacked up w/the Lead Guitarists ex...and promptly got engaged!). The cool thing was that I got to travel and play all around the southwest. I got to hang out w/Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedy's and still have a letter he wrote to me on "Alternative Tentacles" stationary. He wanted to sign Bent to his label.

3- Many years ago I began customizing motorcycles. I put together a great radical '70's style chopper that I dubbed Elvira. Nowadays I have 2 custom bikes...a BMW R90/6 "bobber" that I ride occasionally and an awesome 1700cc Roadstar that I have dubbed Elvira 2. I freaking live to ride! Any idea yet how I feel about winter in the midwest?

4- My interest in Roller Derby actually started with Banked Track. I was a total "Banked-track Snob" and ignored all the Flat-track leagues that were popping up all over the country. I had the attitude that Banked-track was so much faster and more exciting than Flat-track could ever be. And there was that connection to the old school Derby that couldnt be ignored. However, when Indy got their own Flat-track team I figured, "Ahhh...what the hell. May as well check it out". The rest, as they are keen to say, is history. Do I even need to say how crazy I got over Flat-track derby?? Naaaahhh...didnt think so.

5- I lived in Albuquerque, Mew Mexico for about 6 years. There was an incredible underground music scene that totally thrived in the '80's. My band, Bent, played live on KUNM radio. Everyone knew everyone else in the scene and we all, for the most part, supported each other. I miss the Land of Entrapment...aaaahhh Albucrackee. I had a cool apartment in the Sandia foothills for a while and when I looked out the lil window from my shower I could see the majestic Sandia Mountains. We used to hike up in the mountains, dodging rattlesnakes and picking up pinon nuts off the ground which we greedily ate. It was beautiful baby.

6- I have an old pukey Pug dog named Winston. He smells like a dead body and wretches constantly. He gets to gagging and choking and its just a matter of time until he blows. Its really nasty. I have had him since he was 8 weeks old. He is now almost 12. Ummmm...how long do Pugs live??

7- I absolutely LOVE old European cars. I have had 2 Saabs, 2 VW's, an Audi and a BMW. I currently drive a great old Saab 900 Turbo convertible. One of the best cars I've ever owned. I gave my other Saab 900 to my son, which he STILL drives back and forth to Indiana State University. Saab makes awesome cars (until GM came along...doh!). I have my eyes open for a great deal on an old Volvo 240 in good shape. They are freaking bulletproof!!

8- I am a "Commercial Sales Rep" for Lowes. Which is a fancy way of saying that I sell huge piles of building materials and obscure hardware to Contractors, Custom home bulders, Drywallers, Painters, Framers, etc ad nauseum. Lowes has insisted on promoting me and I will soon be what they like to call a Millwork Specialist. Yeah...dont ask. I live 2 miles from work, and that my friends is KEY. I love being able to go home for lunch. Its kinda like being in High School. Hey...I said KINDA.

9- I attended IUPUI with aspirations of becoming an Architect. Had I known that becoming an Architect consisted of taking classes like "Stress Physics" I would have never considered it! I eventually dropped out when life got in the way and I was tired of being broke all the time. Ramen noodles suck.

10- I have an incredible collection of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" memorabilia. I will say flat out that Buffy TVS is my all-time favorite TV show ever and nothing, I mean nothing, comes close to Buffy in my opinion. That show had it all: drama, comedy, horror and sci-fi. I also have quite a few "Angel" items too. I have all of the dvd box sets to "Buffy" and "Angel". My obsession with all things Vanpyr has never subsided and to this day I am a pushover for practically any half-decent vampire movie or TV show. So yes...that means that I am one of around 12 people that actually watched and enjoyed such TV shows as "Blood Ties" and "Moonlight". I loved the "Blade" and "Underworld" movie series of course. I am such a Goth sometimes...

For the newbies, freshies and not-up-2-speeders!

2009-02-01T11:33:00.003-06:00

Ya know, given that not everyone out there is aware of all my nicknames for different derby leagues, I will provide the following cheatsheet:

Naptown- Race City
Brew City Bruisers- Beer City
Angel City- the Angels
Duke City- the Dukes, the Dukies
Providence- the Prov
Hammer City- Hammered C, the Hammers
Arizona- the AZ, Cactus City
Atlanta- the ATL
B.A.D.- the BADasses
Big Easy- Cajun City
Boston- Bean City
Carolina-the Carols (so THERE...)
Charm City- Lovely Charm City, the Charmers
Connecticut- the Conns
Detroit- Deeeetroit, Car City
Dominion- Dom
Ft Wayne- F-Dubb
Gotham City- the Goths, the Mighty Gothic Queens
Grand Raggidy- G-Rag
Houston- Rockit City
Mad Rollin' Dolls- Madolls
Minnesota- the Minnie
Philly- Liberty City
Pikes Peak- the Pikes
Rat City- the Rats
Rocky Mountain- the Rocks
Rose City- the Rosies, the Roses
Sin City- the Sinners
Texas- the Original Muthas
Windy City- the Crushers, Chi-town, the Windys
Arch Rivals- the Archies
Burning River- the Rivers
Cincinnati- Tricky Cincy
Oklahoma- the Vicdolls
Sacred City- Sac City
Sioux Falls- the Falls

So now yer caught up on my nicks 'kay? So don't get lost and bewildered and left behind 'cause ya got no excuse now!

And so it's just you and me now...

2009-02-01T09:38:00.000-06:00

So its just you and me...

I have decided that it would be best to no longer post my blather on the Naptown boards at this point. The reasons for this decision are somewhat complex and "involved" but it is for the best, at least for now. I steadfastly refuse to "back off" or "ease up" on my posts because to do so would be at the cost of my integrity, passion and courage. I write from the heart and always will. I am quite proud of that. I will continue to rub folks the wrong way., make enemies, cause discord and raise hell. Its just my nature people, On the other hand I will also make friends, strengthen relationships, provide insights, create discussion and analyze Roller Derby as I see it. And that is as it should be. Be warned tho...the gloves are off. I will have some thoughts that I haven't felt comfortable expressing before and I'm sure I'll be painting a big 'ole target on my chest as usual. The haters can piss off...

And by the way...may I say...CAROLS CAROLS CAROLS CAROLS CAROLS CAROLS...ad infinitum.

10 Keys to winning Roller derby!

2009-02-01T09:31:00.000-06:00

Wanna know how teams win games consistently? I have come up with 10 keys that define winning derby. Take a look at teams at the top of WFTDA and you will discover that these teams possess most, if not all, of these keys:

1- Team Chemistry
In my opinion this is perhaps the most important thing that a team can possess. If a team has excellent chemistry they can go beyond their skill level. They can pick each other up when a bout is getting rough. They can encourage each other, give psychological energy that translates into a winning spirit on the track. Teams go very far on chemistry as their chief trait.

2- Attitude
Attitude is closely related to Team Chemistry, but is also related to veteran leadership and coaching. Rooks pick up on the general attitude of a team quickly. Is there finger-pointing? Are there little cliques on the team? Is there assigning of blame for losses? Or does everyone accept responsibility for the play of the team? Is there a "winning attitude"? A winning attitude is contagious. It is far easier to be a negative force on a team than a positive force. Skaters that have a positive attitude are a real blessing on any team. Leadership from the Coach(es) are also critical to the success of any team and Coaches and veterans must act quickly when a negative attitude begins to take root on a team.

3- Skating skill and speed
Although there are skaters who are "naturals" they are the exception. Skating skill and speed mostly comes from drills and hard practice. Speed really pays off in the upper echelons of WFTDA and it has been shown many times that the ability to simply outskate your opponent translates into wins...especially in Tournament play.

4- Endurance
Endurance also comes from practice and acclimation. Excellent conditioning has won many a close game and its value cannot be under-estimated. I cant tell you how many times I have seen quality endurance win games!! An average team skill-wise can defeat superior teams if they arent winded late in a close bout. A team with strong endurance can chip away at their opponent and simply wear them down.

5- Strategy
Really, strategy comes from the Coach(es). A game plan not only needs to take into account the traits and skills of the opponent but also must be ADJUSTABLE. At least at half-time, if not during play. One of the keys to any winning bout strategy is to always make sure that your teams strategy is not forced, but rather is custom built for the existing strengths of your team. In other words...the Original Muthas strategy is going to be radically different than Lovely Charm City's, or it had better be if you dont want to frustrate and stifle your teams personality. Every team possesses their own unique strenghts and weaknesses and strategy MUST reflect this. To attempt to "superimpose" a strategy on your team will only lead to frustration and losses.

6-Health
The health of a team is oftentimes a matter of luck, but injuries should be addressed if they are beginning to pile up. Conditioning and flexability are of course key to the avoidance of injuries. There are many factors when it comes to team health but it is always important to step in when an injured player insists on playing when she has suffered a significant injury. Derby is a tuff sport and there are many, many instances when a skater can continue to play and not do further damage but ya hafta know where to draw the line. I would much rather lose my best Jammer for the rest of the game than lose her for the next 3 bouts because I let her play too hurt.

7- Depth
Bench depth is incredibly important and if ya take a look at the top teams in WFTDA you will quickly see that team depth is incredibly important to a teams success. You can only go "to the well" so many times during a bout and the trend to keep going to the same Jammer constantly will lead to burn-out at least if not injury. Burning out your 1 or 2 best Jammers is definately not a good idea. There needs to be a solid core of 3-4 Jammers even if only 2 are "featured" Jammers. This is true of the Blocking and Pivot positions also. Depth is often the cure to injury issues as well as a key to overcoming them. Any team that desires to play near the top of WFTDA is going to need to constantly develop skaters, if for no other reason than the issues of injury and retirement. The turnover for most teams is fairly significant and only through the constant recruitment and development of new skaters can depth be solid enuff to absorb the loss of players.

8- Experience
Bout experience is incredibly valuable, particularly in Tournament play. As bout experience increases so should the level of your opponent. If you want to see your team crack the top 25 in the rankings you are not going to get there if you dont consistently "step up" the level of the opponents that you are bouting against. Experience breeds confidence and calm under pressure.Experience builds team chemistry too...that ultra-important quality I already discussed.

9- Well-rounded Rosters
If all your skaters ahve a similar skill-set its going to be very difficult gaining any traction in the rankings because, frankly, your not going to win more bouts than you lose (if you take on quality opponents). Any successful Derby team has a well-rounded roster of skaters with a variety of talents and skills. A great Jammer doesnt usually make a great Blocker and vice-versa. Any quality team needs a variety of "body types" and temperaments. If every skater on your team is a hot-head youre gonna have problems. Likewise if all your players are the low-key and soft-spoken you will also have issues. Its definately preferable to have different personalities that can compliment each other both in practice and under the pressures of a heated bout.

10-Fans/ Crowd atmosphere
Last, but by no means least, are the fans of a team. A loud, energetic atmosphere can do AMAZING things to the spirit of a team. And it can also intimidate and shake up your opponents concentration and spirit. I have seen a crowd pick up a team during close bouts that lead to victories. Every team should always attempt to attract fans and participate in the community to build good rapport with fans and potential fans. A friendly, approachable team is golden when it comes to attracting new fans and creating loyal fans.

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